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#447802 - 10/27/05 01:34 PM Thursday funny
A_G Online
10K Club
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 18,966
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for this Saturday
With the lights out, it's less dangerous.

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#447803 - 10/27/05 01:35 PM Re: Thursday funny
huntik Offline
100 Club
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 238
Ohhh, that's not nice.
Sometimes I sit and think...sometimes I just sit.

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#447804 - 10/27/05 02:25 PM Re: Thursday funny
Carly Girl Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,778
I thought ALL men knew that was a no-no!

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#447805 - 10/27/05 02:35 PM Re: Thursday funny
Raiderette Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,316
New Mexico
I'm sticking up for the men here.... Maybe he didn't mean that his wife went from 0-200 in 2 seconds, but he knew someone that did, and he couldn't afford the car...

On the other hand.... WHAT WAS HE THINKING??!!!
Are you ready for some football?

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#447806 - 10/27/05 02:55 PM Re: Thursday funny
Search_Me Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
She who dies with the most shoes WINS! grin

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#447807 - 10/27/05 04:03 PM Re: Thursday funny
cheekEE Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,594
Easy Street
Ohh AuditGuy...didn't you know better?
Some days good karma isn't worth the hassle.

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#447808 - 10/27/05 06:20 PM Re: Thursday funny
X Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
Today's Ebonic word from the
Newark NJ Public School System:
Let's use it in a sentence:

"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

Headlines from the year 2029!
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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#447809 - 10/27/05 06:22 PM Re: Thursday funny
Search_Me Offline
Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
Love that boot X...
She who dies with the most shoes WINS! grin

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