Not looking for sympathy or help, just need to say it out loud today. Just for now I want, I need to just "check-out" or my life for a day to two. This is the last week that the company my husband has worked at for the last 36 years will be open and his mood is really down. He/We are not worried about him finding another job, he will work until the end of the year and have 4 months severence pay but it's hard to see a huge portion of your life go away. My oldest son (32) is bipolar and a recovering alcoholic (9 months sober) and it's time to adjust his medication again so he's struggling at the moment. I am his "sanity touchpoint" and he needed it this weekend as the paranoia started to slip back into to his thought process and the large amounts of medical bills began to get to him. I'm glad I can do that for him and so grateful he's still alive to keep fighting but after those phone calls and visits, I have to fight my own feelings of doom and depression. My youngest son (30) seems to have traded his family in for a new one with his in-laws and sometimes that just gets to me. Both families live within 10 miles of each other but they always stay at her parents house when they come home and now we have discovered that there are weekends when they come home and we never hear from them, we don't even know they are here. That hurts.

So, can I just walk away for a day or two????? Where did that island of serenity go, I think I lost it.

I think we all wish that island existed at times during the year, Corky Girl!

I know I'm only 20, and there's a lot of [censored] I haven't seen yet but let me offer this small sliver.
My dad was a drunk, and a verbal abuser - sometimes physical but only to me - So there we times when I wanted to "check out" of life as well. I found a place that only I would go. It was a huge open field about 5 minutes away from our house that over looked the entire town, you could see the downtown area and the university and what not it was very serene. I also looked at the stars and just zoned out for a while - a little check out of life for 10-20 minutes. I would recommend you find something similar, where you don't think about anything, just shut all your senses off, including your brain, and just space out. Its such a refreshing feeling afterwards, and not to mention a huge stress reliever. That's my 2 cents worth.

Not bad advice ZGuy20.
CG, I am thinking of you. Take a day off and do what makes you feel good, see a movie, see a play, read a book, veg out on the couch, drink some hot cocoa, escape the windy city, whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy .

Trust me you need to take care of you. Sometimes it feels like we have to take care of the world, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. (((HUGS)))

Good advice so far!

CG, please know that we're here for you. Sending lots of hugs.

CG everyone feels this way at one point i did a couple weeks ago i wrote a poem about and posted it in the couch, writing helps me feel better getting it out on paper and i'm not holding it all in, lots of (((HUGS))) and everything will work out and be ok, keep your head up!!

CG, sometimes just getting a weight off your chest is therapy. I know there are people here that will help you in any way they can.

But...the bad times won't last either. You will be happy again. Try to find the good in little things, to help you survive til these bad times pass. <------ good advice from nanwa on the living life post

thoughts and prayers for you CG

Maybe you can have a peaceful lunchtime alone in a wonderful spot that gives you the break you need.

Can I just 'check-out' of my FAMILY for awhile? They are driving my nuts! Only 2 3/4 years until I can move far, far away.

I could 'check out' of mine right now for a bit too.

CG, hang in there... I like Zguy's advice...

And since you are near Chi-town, go to the Navy Pier on a sunny day and just watch the sailboats glide by, it was a gloriously relaxing time for me.

Corkygirl, all I can say are (((HUGS))) from my way.

We have a special road in life that often does not let us "check out" for too long. Even when I do, I worry about what is going on with my son.

Just try to find a little peace for yourself, however, whenever, even for just a few minutes.

Just knowing that you have all of us to talk to about it and that we can encourage you to hang in there hopefully puts a big smile on your face. ((HUGS)) are the best thing in the world and they are always there when needed the most. My thoughts are with you.

Hang in there CG! Try to remember that this is all temporary and in a couple of months it will all be just a memory. Buy some Mrs. Fields cookies and remember with each bite how many hugs you have gotten just today. And add mine too - ((HUG))!

CG, don't feel too badly about the other son going to the in-laws. It seems obvious to me that he and/or his wife find it hard to be around your other son with the bipolar problems. Some people can handle difficulties, others handle it by avoiding it.

I like the advice about just getting away for short times. That can help a lot. Does your son need constant attention? If so, is there someone you can trust to watch him for a day, so you can go shopping, get a manicure or something, or just go for a long walk on a nice day?

Sometimes you just need to "air out". Prayers for strength and relief coming your way!

CG - things will get better. Know that your BOL family is always here to support you.

Corky God bless you really. I hope you take care of yourself. I have a sister like your son and she has come a long way. We encourage her all the time and we are thankful she is with us. Family is so important to me and right now my daughter is going through a phase where she thinks all her family hates her and that she wants nothing ot do with her cousins and aunts and uncles. It is very hard to deal with as like I said we are a close family and to have someone talk bad about them is very hurtful to me. But hopefully time and maturity will get us through this- I don't know what I would do if my son and/or daughter decided to keep away from the family- and you never know what will happen down the road but I am hoping our bond never gets broken and all you can do is continue to love them and hope that they continue to value the importance of family. My heart goes out to you for what you are going through- I hope your life gets better and they realize what you have done for them and how much you love them. Trust me we all want that isolated island at times.

Thank you all for your warm thoughts and hugs. I'm better this week. I took Friday afternoon off to just be with my husband, the company officially closed on Friday and it was really hard on him. My oldest son Michael was doing better by the end of the week, the increase in his current medicine seems to be helping and I think his wife helps also Both son's coming over for Thanksgiving, youngest and his wife in the morning and oldest and his wife for dinner around 4:00. I know that "This to shall pass" but it's hard to figure out what to do next sometimes and I really appreciate all of you for helping me get thru a difficult week. Happy Thanksgiving all.