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#460954 - 11/23/05 09:45 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
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Quote:

I know some people's "moral convictions" won't allow them to accept this thinking but the Bible belt won't fit around our overweight bellies anymore and the societal norms of our grandparents are a forgotten myth. No more Leave it to Beaver and the Cosbys it is Desparate Housewives and reality TV.




Just because I post anon doesn't mean my opinion doesn't count as much as yours does. I was not chastising, just stating my opinion because I was asked for it.

Whodunit: From your quote above, you are saying that morals don't matter in this day and age. That is EXACTLY what is wrong with this society is that there are no morals anymore. That is why people think it is OK to have affairs. And I am not a bible thumper, but I still have my beliefs AND morals, and that belt fits fine around my waist. This world is going downhill in a handbasket, and maybe you just want to go with the flow, but I will stick to my morals. Thanks.

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#460955 - 11/23/05 09:58 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
XODUS Offline
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XODUS
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,384
I didn't say that morals didn't matter, I was expressing that the morality has changed since our grandparents time. In a society that glorifies this sort of behavior you can expect that it would become acceptable.

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#460956 - 11/23/05 10:25 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Jokerman Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,846
Original Poster - You said you have discussed going to counseling together, but "no luck". Does that mean the subject just got dropped, or one of you eventually refused, or what.

Other posters - I don't recall taking a vow to be faithful only when my sex life is what I want it to be. I'm not advocating an adultery squad in the local PD, so don't tell me about how it's none of my business. It has an effect on society at large.

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#460957 - 11/23/05 11:29 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Original Anon: I commend you for you statements that you would not play games to make your husband jealous and an affair is out of the questions. Sounds like your goal is to try and work through your problems together, open and honestly. That is very admirable. I have never been in your situation, so I wouldn't know what advice to give you. I certainly hope you can find out the real problem and work it out.

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#460958 - 11/25/05 01:34 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Original Anon speaking (typing??)

Answer to happy - Of course I have put on some weight since we met 10 years ago. So has he. He has no problem with kisses, hugs, holding hands or snuggling, so I don't believe that he finds me unattractive. And he doesn't have a wandering eye either.

As far as romance goes, I don't just close the door and say, "OK - perform!" There is romance.

Regarding "stuff," I meant that he stiff finds me attractive, he's not secretly gay, and there isn't anything else that came out in counseling or anywhere else that would lead me to beleive that there is an issue that I haven't thought about.

Sharing the load - we have a fair arrangement and if anything, I probably do more. He gets plenty of down time after work or when he's off. My down time consists of laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. I work more hours than he does.

I'm not offended by anything you said, and I have thought of it all myself. There is no such thing as a "perfect" couple, in or out of the bedroom. We have our moments, as all couples do. However, in all other areas we are a good match and have no communication problems, hidden resentments or issues with each other. We have good senses of humor and have been supportive of each other throughout our time together. There is nothing that would lead me to even suspect that he is unhappy with his life, me or his family.

For everyone else, as I said I am not going to sleep with another, whether you would call that an affair, cheating or spousal supplementing. If it works for other people that's good for them. It isn't what I want to do or I would have already. I have had offers.

I can't beleive that my husband is the only man in the world with this lack of desire. Maybe he's the only one under 80 with it. That's why I asked.

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#460959 - 11/25/05 01:48 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Reed Offline
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Reed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,251
West Coast
question for the original anon:

Do you WANT more sex? Or is it just that you feel that if you don't have more there is somthing wrong with you or your relationship?

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#460960 - 11/25/05 05:16 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Nanwa Offline
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Nanwa
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,564
Clintonville, WI, USA
Good question Pixie! Sometimes you read in the magazines that you should be having sex so many times a week, and you think, we're not, so something must be wrong.

As we get older, energy, time and desire can wane, and "encounters" can be less frequent, but no less satisfying. There's nothing wrong with that, if both parties still feel their needs are met.
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#460961 - 11/25/05 06:05 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Original anon:

Yes.

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#460962 - 11/25/05 06:06 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Reed Offline
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Reed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,251
West Coast
Does he?

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#460963 - 11/25/05 06:46 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
HappyGilmore Online
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Posts: 19,483
Pulling people out of the ditc...
Quote:

"OK - perform!"




Original anon - to most men, the above is considered romance
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#460964 - 11/25/05 10:03 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
someone else Offline
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someone else
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Posts: 3,300
back to my roots
Funny you should say that. That same thought crossed my mind when I read the post. I haven't once met a man that needed romance in order to get in the mood.
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#460965 - 11/26/05 03:47 AM Re: Looking for some honest men
MichelleDawn Offline
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MichelleDawn
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
Quote:

... you are saying that morals don't matter in this day and age. That is EXACTLY what is wrong with this society is that there are no morals anymore. That is why people think it is OK to have affairs. And I am not a bible thumper, but I still have my beliefs AND morals, and that belt fits fine around my waist. This world is going downhill in a handbasket, and maybe you just want to go with the flow, but I will stick to my morals. Thanks.




Just because the world isn't living up to your standards doesn't mean that people don't have morals. Morals are different for each person. Quite frankly, your post doesn't live up to my moral code.

Good luck original anon.
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#460966 - 11/26/05 05:05 AM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Well, obviously not or I wouldn't be on the couch.

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#460967 - 11/26/05 03:03 PM Re: Looking for some honest men *DELETED*
Reed Offline
Diamond Poster
Reed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,251
West Coast
Post deleted by *pixiesprite*

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#460968 - 11/26/05 09:44 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
flaire Offline
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flaire
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 228
sw us
Quote:

Why should he have to change for you, why wouldn't he be able to expect you to change for him? And even if you were right to expect the change to be in your favor, you still can't change or control another person, they have to want to change....and it doesn't sound like he wants to. So take it or leave it, but that's the truth.




Wow Pixie, a little rough on the poor woman, weren't you?

As she said in her first post, there is a lot of talk about boosting women's desire and no one thinks that's wrong. Are you implying that only women should change to please their partners?

It looks to me like she is searching for things that she hasn't thought of before.

anon - has he always been uninterested, or did this start up at some point? If so, can you think of what could have triggered it?
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#460969 - 11/28/05 04:17 AM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

From a male perspective, it seems apparent that there is a lack of desire on his part and there must be some reason for this. The original poster does not state any on the obvious reasons such as medical or physical. People just do not stop having sex because they do not like it! Like Paul Harvey says, "And now, the rest of the story...".

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#460970 - 12/07/05 07:11 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

3 to 4 times a year...so what is the problem...all you women want do is push, push, push for more.

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#460971 - 12/21/05 12:04 AM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Someone brought up "Desperate Housewives" a few posts up, and I feel the need to vent about that a little. It seems that in this day and age, it is viewed almost as acceptable (to some people) for women to fulfill their sexual "need" elsewhere if their husband isn't doing so. But, society (mainly women) brand men as scum of the earth if we do the same. Why the double standard? I don't see a show about guys going around soliciting sex from all of their buddy's wives...

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#460972 - 12/22/05 07:33 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

Funny you should say that. That same thought crossed my mind when I read the post. I haven't once met a man that needed romance in order to get in the mood.




Then you haven't met me!

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#460973 - 12/22/05 08:11 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
The Incredible ComplyGuy Offline
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The Incredible ComplyGuy
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,350
The he11 of suburbia
Quote:

Quote:

Funny you should say that. That same thought crossed my mind when I read the post. I haven't once met a man that needed romance in order to get in the mood.




Then you haven't met me!




There ya go G.L.O.W., looks like this anon wants to snuggle.

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#460974 - 12/22/05 08:31 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
HappyGilmore Online
10K Club
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,483
Pulling people out of the ditc...
Quote:

Someone brought up "Desperate Housewives" a few posts up, and I feel the need to vent about that a little. It seems that in this day and age, it is viewed almost as acceptable (to some people) for women to fulfill their sexual "need" elsewhere if their husband isn't doing so. But, society (mainly women) brand men as scum of the earth if we do the same. Why the double standard? I don't see a show about guys going around soliciting sex from all of their buddy's wives...




Earth to anon - you are talking about a TV show, not real world. If you think desperate housewives is reality...oh, never mind
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#460975 - 12/22/05 09:42 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
The Incredible ComplyGuy Offline
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The Incredible ComplyGuy
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,350
The he11 of suburbia
Quote:

Quote:

Someone brought up "Desperate Housewives" a few posts up, and I feel the need to vent about that a little. It seems that in this day and age, it is viewed almost as acceptable (to some people) for women to fulfill their sexual "need" elsewhere if their husband isn't doing so. But, society (mainly women) brand men as scum of the earth if we do the same. Why the double standard? I don't see a show about guys going around soliciting sex from all of their buddy's wives...




Earth to anon - you are talking about a TV show, not real world. If you think desperate housewives is reality...oh, never mind




The suburb I live in is not too far off (in fact some speculate it's the inspiration for DH). Biggest difference is the women don't look as good.

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#460976 - 01/04/06 06:36 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
bankerboy252 Offline
New Poster
bankerboy252
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7
alright....I'm a young and honest guy....and good looking. I've never heard of a man that didn't want it. Sounds like he needs serious help.

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#460977 - 01/04/06 06:54 PM Re: Looking for some honest men
deppfan Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 5,184
All over the map.
Quote:

alright....I'm a young and honest guy....and good looking. I've never heard of a man that didn't want it. Sounds like he needs serious help.




So...have you been in banking long?
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