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#46106 - 11/29/02 04:41 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
JacF Offline

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Posts: 6,719
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I've met that frog before. If I recall correctly, his name is Kermit Jagger.

"His old man's a rolling stone..."

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#46107 - 11/29/02 04:49 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Anonymous
Unregistered

Two Blonde Bank Robbers
Two blonde bank robbers have just committed a brazen bank robbery. In the getaway car, the driver says to his accomplice, "Hey, look out the back and see if the cops are after us."
"How will I know they're cops?"

"They'll have their flashers on."

So the accomplice turns around and says, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no..."


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#46108 - 11/29/02 07:55 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
BankerMama Offline
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BankerMama
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,543
I need to correct a previous post. The mall here in Birmingham opened at 11:30 PM last night not 1AM this morning. According to a news flash on www.al.com , the crowds were gathered outside the door and to keep these fools from freezing to death the mall manager decided to open 1 1/2 hour early! 30,000 people were there at 1AM!

People never cease to amaze me........

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#46109 - 11/29/02 07:57 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Skittles Offline
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Skittles
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,963
TN
Locally there was a pregnant woman injured. She was 7-8 months and someone ran a shopping cart into her stomach. Then she went into labor. Luckily the ambulance people were able to stop her labor. What is this world coming to?
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#46110 - 11/29/02 08:37 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
BANNED BY BOL MANAGEMENT Offline
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BANNED BY BOL MANAGEMENT
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Posts: 524
I wonder how many were bankers with the day off?

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#46111 - 11/29/02 09:00 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Pale Rider Offline
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Posts: 34,318
under the Lone Star
Plenty of the pesky critters here in Texas. Travelling out in West Texas on I-10 between say Junction and Fort Stockton I lost count of the deer dead on the side of the road, and that is on just one side of the highway. They were mostly small does, must have been at least 25 killed within the past week.
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Societies that do not find work in and of itself "pleasing to God and requisite to Man," tend to be highly corrupt.


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#46112 - 11/29/02 09:10 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
BANNED BY BOL MANAGEMENT Offline
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I thought a little humor - or at least an attempt would be nice:

Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron
You have two cows.
You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You now sell three cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on web).

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#46113 - 11/29/02 09:18 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Tberry Offline
Member
Tberry
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 84
Kansas
I was smart enough not to go shopping today but I did try to eat out for lunch! Now I'm not only unhappy because I had to work today but I'm starved as well! Guess I'm thankful I had a good home cooked meal yesterday.

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#46114 - 11/29/02 10:32 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
t cochran Offline
Member
t cochran
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 57
Great Falls, MT
Deer? - Shopping? I was up at 6:00 today to get my son a digital camera for Christmas. (I did get it and was in at 6:02, out at 6:20) My husband is really scared to go out this day of the year. He had that "Deer in the Headlights" look when I left for work today. Does that count? (and he wasn't even the one who braved the crowds) I truly hate to shop, but I think the shoppers could benefit from a little compliance officer help. There should be rules. I heard one mother tell her son that he needed to get more aggressive with the shopping cart. Fair Shopping? Reg FF? What do you think?

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#46115 - 11/29/02 10:44 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
JacF Offline

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Posts: 6,719
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In reply to:

I heard one mother tell her son that he needed to get more aggressive with the shopping cart.



Just think- in a few years she'll be teaching him how to drive!

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#46116 - 11/29/02 11:51 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
BBoyd Offline
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BBoyd
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,491
MI
A little variation on the Enron cows....

DEMOCRAT:

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money,
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

COMMUNIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only
one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the
drain.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
best-looking one.







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Opinions are mine and never to be taken as legal advice!

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#46117 - 11/30/02 03:39 AM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
MrHawaii Offline
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 154
Tiptoes in, turns off light *click*, tiptoes out, whispering - everybody have a good weekend!

Brian
American Savings Bank

My employer discourages me from having opinions.
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Opinions expressed are my own. Nobody else would take them.

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#46118 - 11/30/02 04:24 PM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Andy_Z Offline
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Andy_Z
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 27,389
On the Net
Cute!
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My opinions are not necessarily my employers.
R+R-R=R+R
Rules and Regs minus Relationships equals Resentment and Rebellion. John Maxwell

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#46119 - 12/01/02 12:06 AM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
SMQ, CRCM Offline

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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,828
Between the lines
Brian:
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#46120 - 12/02/02 08:43 AM Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
Princess Romeo Offline

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Princess Romeo
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,272
Where the heart is
Good Monday Morning everyone. And to continue the TWO COW illustrations, here's one we can probably all identify with:

AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You layoff (sell) one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
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Regulations are a poor substitute for ethics.
Just sayin'

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