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#46107 - 11/29/02 04:49 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Two Blonde Bank Robbers Two blonde bank robbers have just committed a brazen bank robbery. In the getaway car, the driver says to his accomplice, "Hey, look out the back and see if the cops are after us." "How will I know they're cops?"
"They'll have their flashers on."
So the accomplice turns around and says, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no..."
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#46108 - 11/29/02 07:55 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,543
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I need to correct a previous post. The mall here in Birmingham opened at 11:30 PM last night not 1AM this morning. According to a news flash on www.al.com , the crowds were gathered outside the door and to keep these fools from freezing to death the mall manager decided to open 1 1/2 hour early! 30,000 people were there at 1AM! People never cease to amaze me........
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#46109 - 11/29/02 07:57 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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10K Club
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,965
TN
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Locally there was a pregnant woman injured. She was 7-8 months and someone ran a shopping cart into her stomach. Then she went into labor. Luckily the ambulance people were able to stop her labor. What is this world coming to?
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My Opinions Only
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#46111 - 11/29/02 09:00 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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10K Club
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 34,318
under the Lone Star
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Plenty of the pesky critters here in Texas. Travelling out in West Texas on I-10 between say Junction and Fort Stockton I lost count of the deer dead on the side of the road, and that is on just one side of the highway. They were mostly small does, must have been at least 25 killed within the past week.
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Societies that do not find work in and of itself "pleasing to God and requisite to Man," tend to be highly corrupt.
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#46115 - 11/29/02 10:44 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,719
PA
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In reply to:
I heard one mother tell her son that he needed to get more aggressive with the shopping cart.
Just think- in a few years she'll be teaching him how to drive!
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#46116 - 11/29/02 11:51 PM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,494
MI
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A little variation on the Enron cows....
DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
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Opinions are mine and never to be taken as legal advice!
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#46117 - 11/30/02 03:39 AM
Re: Really now, it's Friday Frivolity!
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100 Club
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 154
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Tiptoes in, turns off light *click*, tiptoes out, whispering - everybody have a good weekend!
Brian American Savings Bank
My employer discourages me from having opinions.
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Opinions expressed are my own. Nobody else would take them.
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