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#478147 - 01/04/06 06:06 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,349
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Mitch is dead?
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If your tagline references disclaimers regarding the nature of political posts, then you should just hit notify.
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#478148 - 01/04/06 06:06 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,112
In hades.
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Robin Williams golf skit from his HBO special.
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Gun nut who enjoys doughnuts!!!
I never finish anyth
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#478149 - 01/04/06 06:11 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,112
In hades.
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Yeah, Mitch OD'd if I remember correctly.
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Gun nut who enjoys doughnuts!!!
I never finish anyth
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#478150 - 01/04/06 06:13 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I thought Mitch committed suicide, but I guess a drug-overdose is pretty much the same thing. What a shame and a waste.
Signed,
Suzy
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#478151 - 01/04/06 06:28 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,112
In hades.
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I did say, "if I remember correctly". That said, it is a real shame that he passed, he was by far one the funniest guys to come along in a long, long time.
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Gun nut who enjoys doughnuts!!!
I never finish anyth
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#478152 - 01/04/06 06:29 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,559
Foxboro
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Look out for #1, but don't step in #2.
Rodney Dangerfield from Back to School
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Best QB Ever. Worst Defense Ever.
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#478153 - 01/04/06 06:43 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 5,184
All over the map.
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"Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystander ." Chris Rock I just think he is an out of the box thinker. 
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On the road again.....I just can't wait to get on the road again.
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#478154 - 01/04/06 06:55 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 620
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Quote:
"Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystander ."
Chris Rock
Haha "whoever shot you would take their bullet back ""I believe you have my property!"" "
That was hilarious!
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#478156 - 01/04/06 06:59 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 620
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Best standup i've seen since chris rock was lewis black...
"How do you deal with terrorists? These people look forward to dying for Allah. We need to be more insane than they are. I think we need to elect an old president. Not one of the alive ones, one of the dead ones, how about ronald reagan? We can dig up ronald reagan and have strom thurmond perform the inagruation? If we elect a dead president, nobody is going to f*** with us for the next 50 years."
Not word for word, but you get the jist. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!
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#478157 - 01/04/06 07:03 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Here's my favorite Bob Hope quote of the moment: Democrat Zombies
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#478158 - 01/04/06 08:04 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,050
Tulsa, Ok
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The other day I saw a whino eating grapes on the street. I said..."Hey...you have to wait."
-Mitch Hedburg
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It takes a long time but God dies too, but not before he'll stick it to you. - Issac Brock
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#478159 - 01/04/06 08:06 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,050
Tulsa, Ok
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You stupid son-of-a-b. Sorry to use harsh letters.
-Dane Cook
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It takes a long time but God dies too, but not before he'll stick it to you. - Issac Brock
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#478160 - 01/04/06 08:10 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Where are the Sam Kinison quotes?
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#478161 - 01/04/06 08:33 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,896
R.I.P. Chief Illiniwek
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I love Dane Cook. I have both CDs, they are just hilarious.
How pumped would you be knowing on your way home from work, somewhere in your house there is a monkey waiting to do battle.
I would punch every bee in the face.
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#478162 - 01/04/06 08:38 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Diamond Poster
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,466
USA
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Robin Williams walking through the audience, "Hey, I see people I've slept with." (from an HBO special earlier in his career)
Bill Cosby "Himself" (all of it)
Cheech and Chong "Come on-n-n ice cream."
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"No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking." ~ Voltaire
"Sustained thinking gives me a headache." ~Me
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#478163 - 01/04/06 08:47 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Little bo peep f____ed a sheep bl___ a horse, licked his feet, shaved his a___ so very nice, tongued his b___ not once but twice.
The Dice man
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#478164 - 01/04/06 08:48 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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caller: you have a tunnel,
Jerky Boy: yes
caller: is it paper or is it metal
Jerky Boy: nah, its flesh
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#478165 - 01/04/06 09:40 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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My girlfriend went into Lane Bryant and told the sales clerk, "I want to see something in my size." The sales clerk said, "Me too!"
-Robin Harris in Bebe's Kids
"Beauty in only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone."
-Reynaldo Rey in Bebe's Kids
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#478167 - 01/04/06 09:43 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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...Hey Wang, this is a private club. Don't let 'em know you're Jewish.
-RD
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#478168 - 01/04/06 09:54 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 3,050
Tulsa, Ok
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For those Dane Cook fans
---You're right, he is crazy...welcome to Kinko's.
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It takes a long time but God dies too, but not before he'll stick it to you. - Issac Brock
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#478170 - 01/04/06 10:16 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Power Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,598
~*TEXAS*~
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" hey joe rogan i gotta tell you something about me that you might not know...i smoke crack rocks ::scratches his neck::"
d.chappelle as tyron
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"When you want some thing, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"
Paulo Coelho
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#478171 - 01/04/06 10:20 PM
Re: Favorite Comedian Lines
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
" hey joe rogan i gotta tell you something about me that you might not know...i smoke crack rocks ::scratches his neck::"
d.chappelle as tyron
"i'm rick james b****!"
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More of my favorite quotes are from the commercial for his "Tall and Fat" clothing stores:
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