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#485265 - 01/18/06 11:20 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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10K Club
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,846
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Quote:
I decided to go through with the abortion, and now, that I am 26, I think it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself.
Can I ask why you feel your life is better than it would be if you had put the baby up for adoption?
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#485266 - 01/19/06 01:50 AM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Before you let someone pressure you into an abortion, consider the other options. There are plenty of people who, like the anon above, would really love to have a child
Consider all the options before someone pressures you into carrying a child. No matter what any of us say it's your body and your choice.
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#485267 - 01/19/06 01:56 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I had to log off for this one. I got pregnant at a young age myself. My boyfriend was against me being pregnant, but I was going to go thru with it anyway. Anyway, my parents did not like the bf and wanted what was best for me. In the end, it was my mom who asked if I'd ever consider an abortion. Truthfully, I had not. But, coming from my mother, it was like seeing a new light. She instantly became by best friend. Her and my dad took me to the clinic. (I wont lie, it was horrible!) The guilt lasted a long time. Even now, nearly 20 years later, I still wonder. However, I'll never regret my decision. And, I thank my mom for that.
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#485268 - 01/19/06 03:01 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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**OrIgNiaL PoSteR** Just wanted to say thank you all for your advice. It has been really helpful to me.  )
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#485270 - 01/19/06 03:22 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Why would you want to try to out someone that is obviously wanting to remain unidentified and is struggling with a very personal problem?
Suzy
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#485271 - 01/19/06 03:23 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Power Poster
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,350
The he11 of suburbia
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Quote:
Quote:
**OrIgNiaL PoSteR**
Just wanted to say thank you all for your advice. It has been really helpful to me. )
Well if it is, she's talking to herself 'cause she was the first one to respond.
that looks like a trademark of Nunzeo... hmmm... ????
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#485273 - 01/19/06 04:46 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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It's not Nunzeo. Just letting you know.
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#485274 - 01/19/06 09:33 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Have you found out yet? I'm curious to know if your stressing over nothing.
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#485275 - 01/19/06 09:41 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Power Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,598
~*TEXAS*~
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its not me guys i'm off today!! i guess that 19 yr olds have some things in common!!! like the lettering!!! but i have been with my BF for 3 yrs and i will not allow myself to get prego
_________________________
"When you want some thing, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"
Paulo Coelho
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#485276 - 01/19/06 10:50 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anon, I just had a thought about your "embarressment" comment. What is there to be embarressed about? While I wouldn't ever judge your decision to continue or not continue the pregnancy (if there is one) I do judge that statement. I wasn't married when I became pregnant. Was I embaressed? No and comments like that from dorks that think pregnancy comes with marriage alone to be "ok" just aren't fair or right. I'm hoping that the statement comes from a very young mind, and that you'll grow to learn that bringing a life into this world isn't an "embaressing" moment, if you keep the child or not. In fact, I think one of the most noble and brave things that one can do is to carry a child and give it to someone else through adoption. There isn't any "embaressment" involved unless you don't respect your decision. Being 19 or 49 or married or unmarried does not matter. Bringing a life into this world should not hedge on your embaressment factor, but instead on a decision made with logic, and an open mind and heart to the long term results of your decision. Any decision you make should be supported, but please, don't be embaressed about being pregnant. That's such an immature response, and I'm sure you must have more maturity than that inside somewhere  I wish you luck. Whatever decision you do make, do so with counseling as advised Remember a counseler won't make the decision for you (a good one won't) and won't be pro-life or pro-choice, but pro-YOU! I will tell you I know people who have discontinued pregnancies and have been just fine with life beyond that decision. I also know a lovely woman who did the harder thing and carried a baby boy she gave up for adoption. She also has gone on with life, knowing that her decision was right (possibly much harder than the first, but right for her child) and I know many women who have raised children on their own and done just fine as well. Just don't be embaressed.  Life happens. Sometimes not the way we planned, but it happens and we get through it! By the way, when I found out I was pregnant I decided to keep my child, and discussed that with the father, a man who thought he didn't want children. Had he expressed the same opinion your boyfriend seems to have, he would be alone now  There is no man worth a second glance who can't support the woman he professes to love in a decision like this. My confirmed batchelor playboy is now the sweetest father on earth Things do work out. Good luck! And if you carry that child, for yourself or another, smack anyone who suggests you should feel embaressment for doing so! HARD!
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#485277 - 01/20/06 01:02 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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*Original Poster*
I haven't found out yet, it will be another couple of days before I can be absolutely positive. I just pray I am not, but a womens intuition is so strong. . . I will let everyone know as soon as I find out.
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#485279 - 01/20/06 08:15 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Gold Star
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 372
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Have you taken a home test? You can pick one up at just about any store, go into a bathroom and find out. Most of those tests are pretty acurate. If it is negative and you don't start, confirm it with a doctor. If it is positive you will pretty much have your answer. No one but you will have to know you have done this.
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#485280 - 01/20/06 08:35 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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yeah, also someone told me that I could go to the maternity ward of the hospital. There they will test and it is free, and also its one of the most accurate test you can take. I think that is the way I am going to go.
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#485281 - 01/21/06 03:03 AM
Re: Pregnant?
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Platinum Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 932
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Unreg, I've sat on the sidelines of this discussion wondering if I should chime in. I have absolute respect for the choice you have to make and truly don't want to make you feel guilty in anyway. Let me just say that after many years on infertility in my marriage, I was finally pregnant and the doctors said due to my age the fetus/child may have Downs and we had to make a choice before the results came back. I'll never forget that night when my husband, almost said at the same time as I did that no matter what we would keep the baby since we had tried so hard to have a child, he ended up healthy. I kind of surprised myself because I felt and still do that abortion is a personal choice. Having said that (and probably going to get beat up) I saw something today that very well pertains to you. The subject was about if someone really truly loves you. That person will sacrifice their WANTS for you. Earlier in this posting you said something to the effect that you are afraid if you have this possible baby that your bf will leave. If he does, then he never really loved YOU. If he truly never wanted to be a father he should have made sure that HE used a fail safe birth control method and since we all know that the condom can break then he should not have ever engaged in sex or had a vasectomy. I know that sounds puritanical, but hey, if he was serious about not wanting a child, then that was his only choice. He should remember the old saying that if you play you pay. Unfortunately your the one ending up with this saying. I went to HS and college in the 70's when abortion was not legal in the US and then it was in NY. I had several friends that went thru abortions and there are only 3 things that happened. Everything was fine, they had no regrets and later went on to have kids; they never got over the guilt; or they never could conceive again. I'm not telling you what to do, but you are so young and to think this guy would leave you if you decided to have the possible baby, well, you'd be better off without him in my opinion.
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#485282 - 01/26/06 05:47 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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any news yet?
good luck with it all...
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#485283 - 01/26/06 06:45 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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This is such a personal subject and my heart goes out to you. I was in your situation once and it was one of the worst times I have been through. I was 17 and had been with my boyfriend for two years. He would not support me if I decided to have the baby, so against my own judgement, I had the abortion (to make him happy). I have never regreted anything so much in all of my life. I am now in my 40's and I think of it constantly. I'm not telling you that you should not have one, but you really need to consider the long-term consequences. The guilt is horrible and one day I'm going to have to pay for my sin. (By the way I ended marrying him and we are still married with three children - but I wonder what our lives would have been like had I not had the abortion.) Good luck to you in whatever you decide. My best advice is do what YOU want - not what he wants - you have to live with your choice forever.
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#485284 - 01/26/06 08:17 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Wow, such a big topic. I am 33 yrs old (a male) and have two boys (4 and 2) with another on the way. I am struggling with how to properly answer this. For me, I love my boys more than life and don't remember what life was like without them. I live each day for them and as much of a pain as they can be from time to time, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
That being said, at age 19, I don't think you are ready to be a Mom. I think back to when I was 19, and there was one instance in college when my girlfriend and I (now my wife) thought she was pregnant. I was convinced she was and it began to ruin me. I was so scared b/c I was a college student with no money and so forth. Turns out she wasn't, even though she was two weeks "late". While this is a big choice, I would suggest you seriously weigh the pros and cons.
Just to give you some information, I pay about $600 for day care, not to metion cost of diapers and food and all that stuff. Are you ready to spend the first few months of that baby's life getting up about 4-5 times per night and feeding him/her? Are you ready to non-stop crying and screaming. ARe you ready to have your whole life changed? The days of going out with your friends on Friday and Sat nights would basically be over.
Anyway, as any other parent could attest to, a baby changes who you are and your life in general. Besides, my one major thought in this whole equation is that THAT BABY NEEDS A FATHER more than anything else. If you BF left you alone with this baby, I think it would be detrimental to you and the baby. My two boys are so hooked to me and need that father figure.
All that said, I would abort the baby. Either way, you may have regrets. But are you really ready??? From the sounds of it, I don't think so.
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#485285 - 01/26/06 08:33 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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10K Club
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,846
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Quote:
THAT BABY NEEDS A FATHER
Do you really believe it's better off dead without one? Is that how you would feel about your children if you were to die?
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#485286 - 01/26/06 08:48 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,433
In my Strappy Heeled Sandals!
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Quote:
Wow, such a big topic. I am 33 yrs old (a male) and have two boys (4 and 2) with another on the way. I am struggling with how to properly answer this. For me, I love my boys more than life and don't remember what life was like without them. I live each day for them and as much of a pain as they can be from time to time, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
That being said, at age 19, I don't think you are ready to be a Mom. I think back to when I was 19, and there was one instance in college when my girlfriend and I (now my wife) thought she was pregnant. I was convinced she was and it began to ruin me. I was so scared b/c I was a college student with no money and so forth. Turns out she wasn't, even though she was two weeks "late". While this is a big choice, I would suggest you seriously weigh the pros and cons.
Just to give you some information, I pay about $600 for day care, not to metion cost of diapers and food and all that stuff. Are you ready to spend the first few months of that baby's life getting up about 4-5 times per night and feeding him/her? Are you ready to non-stop crying and screaming. ARe you ready to have your whole life changed? The days of going out with your friends on Friday and Sat nights would basically be over.
Anyway, as any other parent could attest to, a baby changes who you are and your life in general. Besides, my one major thought in this whole equation is that THAT BABY NEEDS A FATHER more than anything else. If you BF left you alone with this baby, I think it would be detrimental to you and the baby. My two boys are so hooked to me and need that father figure.
All that said, I would abort the baby. Either way, you may have regrets. But are you really ready??? From the sounds of it, I don't think so.
I'd much rather see ADOPTION than ABORTION.
_________________________
She who dies with the most shoes WINS! 
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#485287 - 01/27/06 02:05 PM
Re: Pregnant?
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Power Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
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It really doesn't matter what any of us wants ... it's what this woman wants for herself.
_________________________
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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