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#485519 - 01/19/06 01:23 PM Children advice needed
P*Q Offline

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A few nights ago, it was very windy and loud. My 3-year old, who has always been a great sleeper and sleeps fine by himself is now scared and doesn't want to sleep alone, yet with us (first time he wants to and he's 3 so I think that's good ). Anyway, we're on night 4 and he doesn't want to stay in him room alone. I know the longer we continue, it will be harder to transition back, anyone have advice on what to try? PLEASE???? Thank you.

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#485520 - 01/19/06 01:44 PM Re: Children advice needed
~~~izzo~~~ Offline
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How about a night light? Try being easy going about why he's sleeping in is own room tonight. (mommies tired tonight and needs to sleep alone) Don't mention his fear unless he does first. If that fails, you can always do what the nanny does on that tv show..... Sit with him a bit and keep moving away a bit at a time with no eye contact. Who knows if it works. But, I wish you luck.
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#485521 - 01/19/06 02:00 PM Re: Children advice needed
CubDave Offline
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How about some white noise? Either one of those devices that will play waterfall sounds, jungle music, etc. or just music to fall asleep to. Sometimes the wind scares kids for different reasons =- it may not have been the noise - are there trees outside his window? Sometimes the wind makes tree branches look like moving monsters. Can you cover the window with some sort of window treatments that may make him feel safer - maybe ones that have designs on them that he likes?

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#485522 - 01/19/06 02:06 PM Re: Children advice needed
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Thanks guys. For the record, he's had a night light all along. We have blinds on his window too and we also always have had a humidifier on which had noise but one night last week it "glubbed" and he doesn't want that on anymore. I hate to leave him there crying which is what he's been doing once we leave the room and tell him he needs to sleep alone.

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#485523 - 01/19/06 02:09 PM Re: Children advice needed
Countess Kiwi Offline
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Our 3 year old also hears noises, real or imaginary. We purchased a desk lamp to go on her dresser and put in the lowest watt bulb we could find. The night light didn't seem to be enough. It illuminates most of her room, but it isn't too bright. We also did the radio. Now she wants the light on every night and some times wants the radio and sometimes she needs us to close the closet doors, and every night we lay with her for a few minutes. I have found reading a book to her at night is not the best thing. Her mind goes a mile a minute and then she lays there forever thinking about that book. Best of luck to you. Keep trying until you find something that works for him.
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#485524 - 01/19/06 02:17 PM Re: Children advice needed
CubDave Offline
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Also, how about an aquarium with little fish - gives you more of a night loght and the filter provides some more white noise.

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#485525 - 01/19/06 02:31 PM Re: Children advice needed
DeeQ Offline
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I think that maybe you could read to him while he's all tucked in, a nice, happy story that will relax him. Also, I agree with the white noise. My son always wants either the humidifier or fan on when he goes to bed.
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#485526 - 01/19/06 03:23 PM Re: Children advice needed
Bullseye Offline
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We had a hard time with our 3 year old for a while & what worked for us was checking on her. We put her to bed & told her we would check on her soon to make sure she was okay. We would check on her after about two minutes and then again after about four & so on. Each night we stretched it a little longer & now she goes to bed knowing even after she's asleep, Mom & Dad will still be checking on her. For a while she also liked to have her Kids Bop CD on quietly.

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#485527 - 01/19/06 03:29 PM Re: Children advice needed
thomasj Offline
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This is strange, the past month or so my three year old has been waking up in the middle of the night as well. First he said he didn't like his toddler bed so we bought him a regular bed and now he says his room is too dark. He has always had a little night light, but we are going to try a low watt light bulb in his lamp.

At first my wife was playing along with this, letting him sleep with us, or laying down on the couch with him, but finally she has just been taking him back to his bed. It may help to have your husband get up with him, make sure he is OK and put him back to bed. This works for us, because he knows Mom is a softy but if Dad says go to bed he means it.
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#485528 - 01/19/06 03:54 PM Re: Children advice needed
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My toddler has been doing this too (she's just over 2 at 27 months). Well not wanting to go to sleep that is.

She never leaves her room, but for the last week or so, any time we put her to bed, we can hear her playing for a half hour or so before she finally falls asleep. Usually she's just talking to her baby dolls or telling the various things in her room, "Nigh, night." But getting up in the morning is harder and harder, because she doesn't want to go to sleep at night.

I hate to hijack this thread, but is this a normal kid thing?
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#485529 - 01/19/06 04:28 PM Re: Children advice needed
Dream Dancer Offline
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I had the same problem with my son (20+ years ago) at that age. What she may need is a transition time (from stimulating activities to quiet) before actually going to bed. You may need to turn off the TV, cartoons, DVD, etc and limit the type of toys and play for about an hour before you put her to bed. This is a good time to read to her, but avoid stories with a lot of action. Read in a consistent soft voice (instead of "character" voices). Soft instrumental music or nature sounds, such as ocean waves, during this transition time (even while you are reading) may also help. I had better results when the reading was done in a favorite rocking chair or on the sofa, rather than with him in bed. Establishing "bed" as the place to sleep, rather than a place to interact, should help.
It also helps to remember that kids are not really that different from us in a lot of ways. Sometimes it is just a temporary "phase" they go through, just like we have trouble sleeping from time to time.

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#485530 - 01/19/06 04:36 PM Re: Children advice needed
blvsinangels Offline
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Something in his three year old mind is bothering him. Now trying to figure out just what it is may take awhile. At 3 my daughter starting having night mares about a snow man. Now, we live in south georgia, she had never even seen real snow! Turns out my husband had a large nautical chart on the wall, the chart has points, or dots, all over it (I guess you would have to know what a nautical chart looks like!!!), to her it looked like snow and she was seeing a snow man in that chart and it scared her. We actually had to take the darn thing off the wall and hide it. Don't ask me where she came up with the snow man thing...it made sense in her head!! Once it was gone she was fine. I have heard of parents spraying "monster spray" in kids rooms to kill all of the monsters (some kind of smell good spray), sometimes things that make no sense to us, make perfect sense to a kid, real or imagined, the world can be a scary place sometimes no matter how old or young you are!!

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#485531 - 01/19/06 04:42 PM Re: Children advice needed
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I've got a three year old and from what I've seen and what I've heard from other parents it's quite normal for children to not hit the sack right away. They like to stay up for a while and slowly wind down. We put ours to bed around 8:00 and there are many nights that she's not out until 9:00, and she has no lights at all in her room.

Recently it dawned on us that the "problem" of going to bed at night is not ours, it is hers. If she wants to stay up late, she will pay the consequences in the morning. The later she stays up the tougher the consequence of being drowsy. If lack of sleep leads her to being cranky all day, well then she just spends more time during the day in her room crying it out. Over time she's getting the idea, and she's sleeping in a little more which is always nice.
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#485532 - 01/19/06 07:51 PM Re: Children advice needed
waldensouth Offline
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When my daughter first came to live with me, she had just turned 6. Her life before me was less than safe. I used to just sit by her bed every night reading to her, singing to her, or just holding her hand talking to her until she went to sleep. She would wake several times during the night and run to my room to make sure I was still there (birth mom used to do the disappearing act in the middle of the night and not come back for weeks). I would walk her back to her room and sit by her bed until she went back to sleep. She began to wake me less and less frequently so that by the time she was 7 1/2 she was sleeping thru the night and didn't really want me sitting by her bed until she slept anymore - big girl now, you know. I realize that my girl wonder's situation is vastly different than your 3 year olds, but perhaps the same method might help.
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#485533 - 01/26/06 06:59 PM Re: Children advice needed
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I agree with Waldensouths method. Our son had the same problem around 3 and I would sit beside his bed (uncomfortable) and rub his back, but if he tried to talk or get up, I would leave the room. (I never made eye contact, I usually layed my head down on the edge of the bed so he couldn't see my face). He knew he had to try to go to sleep and as tired as he was it never really took too long. I think it is they are at an age where they are beginning to "work" things and this is their way of starting it. But on the other hand, you don't want them to be scared either. This worked for us. Good luck.

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#485534 - 01/26/06 07:38 PM Re: Children advice needed
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I think this time of year, as we head from solstice to equinox, can be rough on sleep cycles, and not just for kids. For myself, I actually have a table lamp beside my bed plugged into a timer. It turns on a bit before I go to bed, stays on until a couple of hours after I'm usually asleep, then comes on again an hour or two before I usually get up. I figure it simulates sunrise and sunset at the time of year when I personally sleep best, the height of summer, and stretches the limits a bit to give me even more daylight. I seem to be most comfortable if I fall asleep and wake up in the light but still have several hours to sleep in the dark.

Might be worth trying. The timers are pretty cheap, and if they don't help his sleep (or if he outgrows the need for it), they can be useful for all kinds of other things, like making your house look occupied when you're on vacation.

Good luck!

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#485535 - 01/30/06 08:11 PM Re: Children advice needed
P*Q Offline

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We're going on week 3 and he's still sleeping with us. Looks like I really need to try some of these methods.

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#485536 - 01/31/06 01:36 AM Re: Children advice needed
Truffle Royale Offline

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Littler grangirl(3) is doing the same thing. Her parents put her to bed with a book of her choice to "read". She reads to her kitten and maybe sings a song or two and eventually dozes off.

The other thing I've heard about is setting a sleeping bag on the floor for him to sleep near your bed but not in it. The thought is that eventually, lack of comfort will outweight the 'need' to sleep with you.

You can google all kinds of ideas but the bottom line is "this too shall pass" and you'll actually wish he'd come snuggle again.

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#485537 - 01/31/06 08:50 AM Re: Children advice needed
flaire Offline
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Our 3 year old has been an insomniac for about a year and a half. He's often still up, playing in his room, after my husband goes to bed. I learned a long time ago that I can't force my child to go to sleep, but I can make him stay in his room quietly. He is allowed to "read" his books or play with his stuffed animals. We also give him a warm bath every night, which does calm him down - from supersonic to subsonic, at least...

It probably is a phase. When the weather is nice, kids get tired out easier because they can go outside and run around. When the weather is bad, kids are stuck inside all day and they are still little bundles of energy. Try taking him to a fast food place that has an indoor activity center and let him climb around for an hour or so. Obviously, this wouldn't work every night, but it would at least give you an idea of whether the root cause is pent-up energy or something else.
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#485538 - 02/22/06 06:12 PM Re: Children advice needed
Miss Chee Offline
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The only solution that I have found with my 6 & 5 year olds has been wearing them out; T-Ball, soccer, Art, etc.

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#485539 - 02/22/06 06:24 PM Re: Children advice needed
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Try a good friend of mine's solution to his son. He just used to tell his son to go jump up and down on their mini-trampoline about an hour before bedtime. He fell asleep fast when he was done.

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#485540 - 02/22/06 07:09 PM Re: Children advice needed
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
I feel your pain...I sleep 3-4 hours every night, whether I need it or not (haha) and have since high school. Not sure why that is all I need, I try and get more, and can't. Sleeping pills don't work, they just make me groggy. I'm not tired during the day, and I do enough physical activity outside of work (soccer, bike, run, swim, spin class...blah blah blah) that I would think I'd be exhausted. Maybe I'm one of the blessed, or cursed. I actually can't think of every having an 8-hour sleep night.

I have always been an avid reader, so that is a lifesaver. High-speed internet at home is also nice. And I think I can quote, word for word, every infomercial on TV after midnight:)
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#485541 - 02/22/06 07:24 PM Re: Children advice needed
*nUnZeO* Offline
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~*TEXAS*~
oh yea do you know what the magic bullet is?
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#485542 - 02/22/06 07:59 PM Re: Children advice needed
HappyGilmore Offline
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Pulling people out of the ditc...
I've sen 2 magic bullets advertised, one is a miniature food proceseor (look, in just 7 seconds, it makes its own guacamole dressing (everyone claps))...the other is not fit to repeat here
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#485543 - 02/22/06 08:00 PM Re: Children advice needed
*nUnZeO* Offline
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yea my friend bought one, the magic bullet and not the one that is silver. She says it awesome!!!
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