Billy and John were walking home after Sunday school were the teacher gave them a very intense lesson about the devil.
Billy says to John, "So what do you think about all this talk about satan?" To which John responds, "I'm not worried it's probably your dad, look how santa clause turned out."

President Bush was visiting the Queen of England and asked her how she runs such an efficient government? The queen said you have to surround yourself with very smart people. Bush asked, "How do you do that?" "Well", said the Queen. You ask them a brain teaser type of question.

So the Queen calls in Toni Blair and asks him, "If your parents have a child and it isn't your brother and isn't your sister than who is it." Toni Blair says, "Well that is ME of course." Impressed Bush returns to the States and asks Dick Cheney, "If your parents have a child and it isn't your brother and isn't your sister than who is it." Dick says, "I'm not sure let me find out." Dick goes to several people including congress and no one knows the answer. Finally he goes to Colin Powell. Colin says, "that's simple, it's ME." So Dick goes back to the President and says, " the answer is Colin Powell." To which the President responds, "No you idiot it's Toni Blair."

What is 20 feet long and smells like urine?



A line dance in a nursing home.

NR2R, that's awful but funny.

What do you call an A&M alumni six months after graduation?

Boss

I'm going to have to send that one to my dad...he's a die hard Aggie.

I hate to admit it but I don't get it. Do you have to be an Aggie to get the joke?

I just switched jobs and both my previous boss and current boss are aggies!!

Well, either an Aggie or just from Texas. Suzy, there are more Aggie jokes than you can possibly imagine. Mostly because others are jealous. When someone starts telling an Aggie joke, I always come back by asking; Do you know what my favorite Aggie joke is? What do you call an A&M Alumni six months after graduation? Boss

The funniest part of it is, there is a lot of truth to it!

Suzy, also, the Aggie jokes I hear can be vicious at times. I'm not kidding, they are as bad as the people telling them (mostly Longhorn fans).
We had to come up with something to come back with and this was it!

Quote:

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What do you call an A&M alumni six months after graduation

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gosh, all the aggies I know are called fry cook 6 months after graduation...at least the smart ones. the rest are still called dishwashers.

A Polish man goes to his eye doctor for his first eye exam in 75 years. The doc has him sit in the chair, dims the lights, and directs the patient to the sign at the far end - the one with the big E at the top. The patient takes one look and says, "Hey! I know that guy!"

I'm guessing my joke was out of line and inappropriate! I felt it might have been! Sorry Andy, I will use better judgement in the future.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns??

'Cause they taste funny!!!

Old - but still makes me giggle!!

It's the first day of school and little Pedro Martinez is a new student in the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death'?" No response, except from little Pedro, who said, "Patrick Henry, 1775." The teacher was impressed. She said, "Very good. Now, who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Nobody in the class says anything except for young Pedro, who said, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." The teacher is very impressed again and a little annoyed at the rest of the class for not responding. She said, "Class! Pedro is new in our country and he knows more history then any of you." From the back of the class, someone loudly whispers, "Screw the Mexicans." "Who said that?" the teacher angrily demanded. Pedro said, "Jim Bowie 1836." At that point, a student in the back says, "I'm going to puke." The teacher glared around the class and said, "All right! Who said that now?!" Again, Pedro answers, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now the class is getting angry. One calls out, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro responds, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997." The class is now like an angry mob. One yells, "You little ****! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!" Pedro calmly responds, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher has been becoming more and more hysterical and faints dead away. One of the children says, "Oh boy, we're in deep cr*p now." Pedro whispers, "Saddam Hussein, 2003." Finally, someone throws a chair at Pedro, while someone else screams, "Duck!" The teacher hearing this just as she is waking, mumbles, "Who said that?" Pedro, with shaking legs, whispers, "Dick Cheney, 2006."

Loved it!!

What has balls and makes old ladies scream??
***Bingo***