HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:

FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her
armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control
was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. eeewwwww.....

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
lacerations to his [censored]. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in
her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I
would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it
was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony
mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the
mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The
concrete then hardened, (no sh*t Sherlock!), causing constipation and
pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's
rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we live sheltered
lives!)

BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of
severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they
would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor
examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in
at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my
gosh!!!)

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State
emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for
a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the
table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the
act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the
man's [censored] and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation,
the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!!

Friendship is like peeing your pants.......
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth

OMG, very funny, but eeewww!!!

I used to work night shifts in an ER in OK and a guy came in one night and greeted me at the door without speaking and handed me a big brown paper bag that had something wrapped in it... i opened it up to discover a tongue. apparently the guy had been on some strong drugs and hallucinated rats on his tongue and he kept pulling at them until he'd his tongue right out... good news... they were able to reattach the tongue and as far as i know he's probably normal again today... they did send him directly to rehab after his surgery...

OMG! WOW!

you'd be surprised how many people are wheeled into the emergency room due to trying something sexual that ended up not quite going as planned... i was working in an ER that wasn't really that busy, mostly farming accidents.. but we had our occasional sexual injury... things stuck where they shouldn't have been in the first place... over use of drugs like viagra so things wouldn't go back to normal if you know what i mean... boy i miss that job

Wow...

Imagine the embarrassement...

Both of my parents used to work in the ER. I heard some good ones.

There was a boy (12 or 13 or so) that shoved a thermometer in to his [censored]. Under the x-ray, the doctor could actually see the temp readouts. He was able to get it out, and gave it back to the boy's mom.

My neighbor is a nurse - told me a good one a few weeks ago. Ahem....apparently, there is a new "device" (well, I guess it's new, don't really know) the male rainbow community is now using for....well.... you probably have the picture now. Toilet plunger - yep, you read me correctly. They are able to stick them to the wall (shower?) and back up into the "device".

Well, I guess this is not always a real good idea. My neighbor was informed that Target has the top of the line variety -plastic with some ridges. The old wood ones, however, are known to leave splinters!!!

....It was a million to one shot, doc. A million to one.

what would give people the idea to do some of this crap? i am almost speechless...

SB, great reference, lolol.

My sister works in the ER and this one we will never forget....a man visited the ER with a coffee table leg inserted somewhere it shouldn't have been. When the doctor asked how it got there, he claimed to have been painting his walls in which he then fell off the chair and landed just perfectly. My question, who paints naked???

good grief...

OMG... these are too funny...

My sister had ladder-backed kitchen chairs. She stood on one to get something down from a high cabinet. When she jumped off the chair, she came close to impaling herself on the top of the chair. It left a huge bruise on her inner thigh. It was so painful that she actually passed out for a moment or two. She didn't go to the Emergency Room because she was so embarassed - and there wasn't much they could do about it anyway!


Suzy