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#567294 - 06/14/06 06:42 PM Kids....no kids?
angels2mom Offline
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angels2mom
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 338
Depends on my mood
I'm just curious. How many of you that don't have kids don't want kids and why? I just had a conversation with someone in the office and she is so anti-kid it's unbelievable. She says it's because she is selfish and wants everything for herself. I appreciate her opinion and there is no right or wrong answer but I've never met anyone that is so sure of their position on this. Seems like a lonely life to me (and my hubby would agree!)
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#567295 - 06/14/06 06:57 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

Posting anon because it is not a popular opinion but my wife and I don't have kids, don't want kids now and probably never will. We have been married almost 10 years and when we got married we thought we wanted kids, just later. We have settled into comfortable life that we are really happy with and have decided that it is just something we don't need. We have nieces and nephews as well as plenty of friends with kids and we love all of them. But after about two hours we are ready to go to the "no kid safety zone" that is our own house. We see our friends who can't go out with us in the evenings (or if they do go out it is a three-hour ordeal to etiher find a sitter or get the kids ready) and we have no desire to live like that, even though they are thrilled. Plus we don't have a passion for it like most people seem to. We think we could deal with it should it happen but our feeling is that if you don't desperately want a child you are probably not fit to have one. My wife is a teacher (probably contributes to her lack of desire to have kids since she has 20 a day) and she sees to many parents who are not passionate about their children. Sorry, I could go on regarding our reasoning but I don't want to further dominate the thread. But I guess the bottom line is that we don't think it would be fair to bring a child into our lives because we would either be bitter out having to change our lives or we would not make the necessary changes to our lives that you have to make.

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#567296 - 06/14/06 06:59 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Ops Offline
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Ops
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,827
Georgia
My hubby & I definately want to have children.. just a few years down the road. Why are we waiting? To take advantage of our time together and young age before we jump into raising a family. I can't wait to have a kids! Just not yet..

A girl I used to work with at my previous office was so convinced she didn't want to have kids... She's now married and expecting her first child - and loving it!

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#567297 - 06/14/06 07:00 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

I am 33 and have 3 boys, ages 5, 2, and 3 months. Even though I spend a small fortune on daycare, food, clothes, etc., and even though my house is like a 3 ring circus, and even though my wife and I don't go out much at all anymore, and even though I change alot of stinky diapers, and even though the money I spend on them could afford me a nice BMW and bigger house, and even though I don't sleep as much anymore, and even though I have to start worrying about saving for college..............................................................I wouldn't give it up for anything. My kids bring out the best in me, and they are what keeps me going. Not sure how old your co-worker is, but she sounds immature and shouldn't be having kids anyway.

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#567298 - 06/14/06 07:03 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
MichelleDawn Offline
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MichelleDawn
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
I've never had children and have never wanted them. I love kids and am great with kids (I have three Godchildren) as well as friends' kids and the neighbor kids who love coming to Michelle's house to see the kitties, but I have never felt the materal pang. Much like the anon poster, I play with the kids and then go home and have a peaceful eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.
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#567299 - 06/14/06 07:06 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Ops Offline
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Ops
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,827
Georgia
Quote:

I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.



Shame on those who think so!

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#567300 - 06/14/06 07:07 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

No kids here, no desire to have them. Happy for those that choose to do so, it is just not what I want for my life.

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#567301 - 06/14/06 07:07 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Snowqueen Offline
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Snowqueen
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,289
dreaming of a warm beach......
I have a good friend, who I have known since her early 20's, that decided she did not want any children. She is now is her late 30's, has been married for 16 years, and they have no children. It was hard for me to understand her decision at such a young age and I always thought she would change her mind. Guess I was wrong. They are very happy and content with their decision. He got fixed a couple years ago.

She has said that she never had the desire to have a child. She didn't like babysitting as a kid. Likes her freedom. She's a great aunt for her nieces and nephews. It just wasn't in her to be a mom.

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#567302 - 06/14/06 07:08 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

I've never had children and have never wanted them. I love kids and am great with kids (I have three Godchildren) as well as friends' kids and the neighbor kids who love coming to Michelle's house to see the kitties, but I have never felt the materal pang. Much like the anon poster, I play with the kids and then go home and have a peaceful eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.




I don't always see eye-to-eye with you (though I do love to read your posts) but I appreciate your post, SP. I seem to get crucified for my opinion on the subject so even though not too many people know me around here anyway I think I'll stick to being anon

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#567303 - 06/14/06 07:09 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Nanwa Offline
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Nanwa
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 5,564
Clintonville, WI, USA
No kids. I never had the urge or desire to raise children. I think that is because I AM selfish, I admit it, and wasn't willing to give up my career to raise them. And I did not want a nanny or daycare to raise my child. MOML feels the same way. We discussed this very much before we married. And I was lucky, none of our relatives pressured me about our decision.

So far, I have not regretted it. I am sure I would have been a bad mom; I see all my friends raise their kids in what I consider the wrong way, and they all turned out OK. I am sure I would have spanked my kids, since my parents did, and I still grew up feeling loved and wanted.

I have cats; they stay cute and don't sass back (much) like kids do when they grow up.

I always say, I must have been out of line when the "mother" genes were handed out. Along with the "I need to rearrange the furniture" gene and the "shopping" gene.
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#567304 - 06/14/06 07:13 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Hrothgar Geiger Offline
10K Club
Hrothgar Geiger
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,395
Jersey Shore
don't have, can't have

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#567305 - 06/14/06 07:14 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
MichelleDawn Offline
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MichelleDawn
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
Quote:

No kids. I never had the urge or desire to raise children. I think that is because I AM selfish, I admit it, and wasn't willing to give up my career to raise them. And I did not want a nanny or daycare to raise my child. MOML feels the same way. We discussed this very much before we married. And I was lucky, none of our relatives pressured me about our decision.

So far, I have not regretted it. I am sure I would have been a bad mom; I see all my friends raise their kids in what I consider the wrong way, and they all turned out OK. I am sure I would have spanked my kids, since my parents did, and I still grew up feeling loved and wanted.

I have cats; they stay cute and don't sass back (much) like kids do when they grow up.

I always say, I must have been out of line when the "mother" genes were handed out. Along with the "I need to rearrange the furniture" gene and the "shopping" gene.




You must be my long lost older sister. I never re-arrange furniture and do most of my shopping on line.
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#567306 - 06/14/06 07:15 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

I didn't want kids in my 20's. I was adament - no kids! Then I met my husband and I really wanted to have kids. I had my first child when I was 30. I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I'd had children at a younger age. I'm glad I waited. I was more financially well-off, had my "partying" days out of the way, and I was mature and ready for kids. Now that my kids are older and don't need 24-hour supervision, I can't believe how fleeting that time really was and I'd never believe how much I miss it!

I don't think anyone should have kids just because you can. I don't think it's selfish if you don't. It's a very personal decision and I don't think anyone should be judged on it.

(the above is just my opinion and is not meant to reflect anything about anything.)

Suzy

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#567307 - 06/14/06 07:16 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

The first responder who drew out why he doesn't want kids, is being honest, and that is fine. I can tell you this. Even after getting married at age 25, I wasn't sure I wanted kids. the money, the headache, etc. I enjoyed still going out with friends, having much more disposable income, etc.
I now have 3 boys. As a result, I don't go out on weekends much as they are very young. But I can tell you this. They are my life. There is no more powerful feeling than when your 2 year old runs up and hugs you when you come home from work. Or when your 5 year old yells out "i love you" as you are about to close the door after putting him to bed. Or when you watch your 5 year old get so excited because he hit the ball in t-ball.
While everyone is different about what they want out of life, don't let the fact that you enjoy going out with friends, or having your own peace and quiet keep you from having kids. Cause you know what? One day, all your friends are going to have kids and won't be going out any more. You will soon get to the age where you are staying home on weekends at night alone!! Besides, watching my boys grow up and play sports, go to college, get married, have kids, etc. is something should be exciting for any parent. When you get old and look back at your life, what will your legacy be? What will make you the most proud? What will make you smile? Will it be that you saved a ton of money and went out every Friday to Happy Hour and every Saturday to the Club? Will it be that you were able to sleep in on weekends? Will it be that you drove a BMW?
Or will it be that you had the ability to create a new life with your own child and were able to properly raise him/her and watch them grow up to carry on the family name etc. To give your son/daughter all they need to try and have a life even better than you had.
When I am elderly, I will be proud to say that I chose the later..

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#567308 - 06/14/06 07:19 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

No kids, but I'm looking forward to it someday - if I find the right girl. I'd like to continue the bloodline...

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#567309 - 06/14/06 07:24 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
gillysgrl Offline
100 Club
gillysgrl
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 129
Oklahoma
I am 23, I have a 3 year old and one on the way. I love kids and always knew I wanted my own children. My husband and I couldn't be happier with our situation. Although most of our friends are just getting married and enjoying thier lives together (alone) we make time for ourselves and for our children.

I respect everyone's opinion and I think if you don't want children...you shouldn't have them.

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#567310 - 06/14/06 07:25 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
angels2mom Offline
Gold Star
angels2mom
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 338
Depends on my mood
Quote:

I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.





SP, (and the others who don't want children) I don't see anything wrong with your decision either and I don't have any less of an opinion of anyone who decides they don't want children. I believe that there are very valid reasons that people feel this way...what a boring world it would be otherwise.

I've never thought about the other end of the spectrum regarding the desire NOT to have kids until talking to this gal today. We have tons of friends that all have kids and we get together with EVERYONE and have great times as I'm sure those that don't have children do the same.
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#567311 - 06/14/06 07:26 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

No kids, don't want them. My husband and I thought we did when we got married, but realized it just wasn't in us. We were both the youngest, which I think contributes. Neither one of us ever babysat or anything like that. We have 5 nieces and nephews that we love and spoil and give back to their parents when they need a nap.

For him, I think it's based primarily on just not wanting children. For me, it's that, plus a little bit of a viewpoint of not wanting to bring a child into this world as it is. I'm happy for other people, it's just not something I'm willing to do.

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#567312 - 06/14/06 07:27 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
CRAatBOK Offline

Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
Quote:

I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.




SP, You really should quit worrying about what others might think of you. I am sure there are a few people that would disagree with you but as you can see from reading other posts, there are many women that feel the same. I am sure Nanwa never thought people thought of her as a freak. Sometimes I think you are much harder on yourself than others are. (said with a smile and a hug)
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#567313 - 06/14/06 07:27 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
MichelleDawn Offline
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MichelleDawn
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
Quote:

Quote:

I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.





SP, (and the others who don't want children) I don't see anything wrong with your decision either and I don't have any less of an opinion of anyone who decides they don't want children. I believe that there are very valid reasons that people feel this way...what a boring world it would be otherwise.

I've never thought about the other end of the spectrum regarding the desire NOT to have kids until talking to this gal today. We have tons of friends that all have kids and we get together with EVERYONE and have great times as I'm sure those that don't have children do the same.




It would be great if everyone were this opened minded, but there is one post on here already that doesn't paint people who choose not to have children in a very positive light. It's a nasty world out there.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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#567314 - 06/14/06 07:30 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
MichelleDawn Offline
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MichelleDawn
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 5,994
Quote:

Quote:

I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.




SP, You really should quit worrying about what others might think of you. I am sure there are a few people that would disagree with you but as you can see from reading other posts, there are many women that feel the same. I am sure Nanwa never thought people thought of her as a freak. Sometimes I think you are much harder on yourself than others are. (said with a smile and a hug)




Oh, honey, I'm not worried about it. Just stating the fact. I have never doubted my decision and I haven't had any regrets. I have three cats and they are more than enough work for me.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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#567315 - 06/14/06 07:30 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Anonymous
Unregistered

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

I don't see anything wrong with my decision, but I'm know I'm viewed as a freak and/or less than a woman for not wanting kids.





SP, (and the others who don't want children) I don't see anything wrong with your decision either and I don't have any less of an opinion of anyone who decides they don't want children. I believe that there are very valid reasons that people feel this way...what a boring world it would be otherwise.

I've never thought about the other end of the spectrum regarding the desire NOT to have kids until talking to this gal today. We have tons of friends that all have kids and we get together with EVERYONE and have great times as I'm sure those that don't have children do the same.




It would be great if everyone were this opened minded, but there is one post on here already that doesn't paint people who choose not to have children in a very positive light. It's a nasty world out there.




Well leave it go and get on with yours!

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#567316 - 06/14/06 07:30 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
CRAatBOK Offline

Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,172
Further South than I wanna be.
So what. That is their opinion and they are intitled to is. There is nothing you can do to keep them from trying to force it on you but say to yourself that they can't be refering to you because we all are free to make our own choices.
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#567317 - 06/14/06 07:37 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
Carly Girl Offline
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,773
TEXAS
I too sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I chose not to have children and my answer, after much thought, would be lonely. My daughter is my best friend and my two boys are just adorable. I wouldnt change a thing. Having children is a personable choice. I dont think its about being selfish at all. Kudos to those who have children and kudos to those that do not and may God bless those who cant have any!
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#567318 - 06/14/06 07:41 PM Re: Kids....no kids?
angels2mom Offline
Gold Star
angels2mom
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 338
Depends on my mood
I hear ya TG! The gal here was trying to "enlighten" me on much more money I would have, and how much more freedom I'd have if I had no kids. I very politely told her that you couldn't pay me enough money to NOT have my kids. They are every ounce of me (and hubby) and even though times can be tough I wouldn't trade the experience for any amount of freedom or money!
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