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#587872 - 07/25/06 12:01 PM The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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DeeQ
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Posts: 40,762
Turnpike Exit 10
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his
Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

(You gotta love this!!!!!!!!!!!)


"Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587873 - 07/25/06 01:54 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Snowqueen Offline
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Snowqueen
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,289
dreaming of a warm beach......
Cute!

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#587874 - 07/25/06 06:01 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Dip Offline
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Dip
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,298
San Diego, CA
lol!
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Dabbling in banking, law, accounting...the life of a trustee.

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#587875 - 07/25/06 06:20 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
MadisonCali Offline
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Posts: 2,515
So funny!!!
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The beatings will continue until morale improves...

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#587876 - 07/25/06 06:40 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
Junior Member
X
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 41
That's more sad, versus funny. You little devil - why do you see humor in a private part dying?

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that
people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... They Walk Among Us!
-----
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us!!
-----
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . They Walk Among Us!!!
-----
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . They Walk Among Us!!!!
------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us!!!!!
------
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!
-----
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!
------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived
yet?"... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!
------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
------

Olympic announcement

Presidente Vincente Fox has announced that Mexico will not
participate in the next Summer Olympics.

The reason is that anyone who can run, jump, or swim... has already left the country

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#587877 - 07/25/06 06:47 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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Posts: 40,762
Turnpike Exit 10
Quote:

That's more sad, versus funny. You little devil - why do you see humor in a private part dying?




Probably because I haven't seen a live one in a while...
_________________________
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587878 - 07/25/06 06:57 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Miscuit Offline
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Miscuit
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,789
TX
Quote:

Quote:

That's more sad, versus funny. You little devil - why do you see humor in a private part dying?




Probably because I haven't seen a live one in a while...




LOL!!!!

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#587879 - 07/25/06 07:02 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
Quote:

Quote:

That's more sad, versus funny. You little devil - why do you see humor in a private part dying?




Probably because I haven't seen a live one in a while... <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />




Do you need some help with that problem?

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#587880 - 07/25/06 07:06 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,762
Turnpike Exit 10
You offering?
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587881 - 07/25/06 07:17 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Snowqueen Offline
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Snowqueen
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,289
dreaming of a warm beach......
Quote:

You offering?




eeeeekkkkkk....isn't he your Daddy???

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#587882 - 07/25/06 07:24 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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DeeQ
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Turnpike Exit 10
LOL, SQ!!! Not really...
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587883 - 07/25/06 07:40 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
Quote:

You offering? <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />




Sure!

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#587884 - 07/25/06 08:21 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
P*Q Offline

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P*Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,450
Somewhere
Oh get a room you two! Just make sure it's in the "tower" Maria!

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#587885 - 07/25/06 08:59 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
We just need to make sure that it has really good air conditioning as I will make her sweat in many different ways!

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#587886 - 07/25/06 09:11 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Clown Boy Offline
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Clown Boy
Joined: Sep 2004
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here and there
So the pharmacy finally filled your prescription for Viagra then X??
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I am the ringmaster of my domain!

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#587887 - 07/25/06 09:23 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
Quote:

So the pharmacy finally filled your prescription for Viagra then X??




No, Buckwheat - I'm a Natural, and gifted in so many areas. The Big V is for little people, like you and real Clowns!

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#587888 - 07/25/06 09:26 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Anonymous
Unregistered

DQ will be sweating because she'll be running as fast as she can to get away from you, X!

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#587889 - 07/25/06 09:35 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Clown Boy Offline
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Clown Boy
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,934
here and there
Quote:

Quote:

So the pharmacy finally filled your prescription for Viagra then X??




No, Buckwheat - I'm a Natural, and gifted in so many areas. The Big V is for little people, like you and real Clowns!



What's that saying about guys who drive big fancy sports cars??
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I am the ringmaster of my domain!

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#587890 - 07/25/06 09:44 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
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Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
But, I don't drive a big fancy sports car - just a simple, very fast sports car. On the other hand, I'm looking at a Lexus LS460 coming out in October. Cool Car for a Cool Guy.

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#587891 - 07/25/06 09:44 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
MB Guy Offline
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 10,124
Way, way south.
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

So the pharmacy finally filled your prescription for Viagra then X??




No, Buckwheat - I'm a Natural, and gifted in so many areas. The Big V is for little people, like you and real Clowns!



What's that saying about guys who drive big fancy sports cars??




X is a woman, contrary to popular belief.
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Giddy up.

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#587892 - 07/25/06 10:19 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
Sort of True - I'm a lesbian.

I ran across an interesting saying that other day - I'm not a lesbian (but my girlfriend is)!

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#587893 - 07/26/06 11:33 AM Re: The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,762
Turnpike Exit 10
Quote:

Oh get a room you two! Just make sure it's in the "tower" Maria!




LOL, Pam! I'd expect nothing less from my knight in shining armor...

X, I see you morphed into a devil doing an irish jig... much more appealing...
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587894 - 07/26/06 03:19 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
X Offline
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X
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,332
WOOHOO
I'm surprised that you didn't notice what he's dancing on!

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#587895 - 07/26/06 03:45 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
DeeQ Offline
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DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,762
Turnpike Exit 10
You really need to redo the avatar, you can barely see me...
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#587896 - 07/26/06 03:45 PM Re: The old man-tacky humor
Fork Ate Spoon Offline
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Fork Ate Spoon
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,261
Between Here and There
Quote:

I'm surprised that you didn't notice what he's dancing on!




lol, nice

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