A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south,
just outside of Washington.

Nothing is moving north or south.
Suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What
happened?" What's the hold up?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted
Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and John Kerry.
They are asking for a $10 million ransom.
Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline
and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a
collection."

The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"

"About a gallon."


**Replace the names with anybody person you would like. This is how I got the e-mail and I didn't feel like changing the names.

So we could change it to Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Hastert and Frist.

Hillary Clinton Visits School Children

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth."

"And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"I have three questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And, Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Larry."

"And what is your question, Larry?"

"I have five questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And, Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?

"All around the world people were reacting to North Korea's nuclear testing. The U.S. condemned it. China said it was wrong. France surrendered." -- Jay Leno

He11 EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.


The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well

Bonus Question: Is He11 exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of He11 is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into He11 and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to He11, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering He11, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to He11. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to He11. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in He11 to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in He11 because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in He11 to stay the same, the volume of He11 has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If He11 is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter He11, then the temperature and pressure in He11 will increase until all He11 breaks loose.

2. If He11 is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in He11, then the temperature and pressure will drop until He11 freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in He11 before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that He11 is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since He11 has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

MB Guy, I too have seen it before but I just LOVE IT every time!! Very funny!