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#765095 - 06/29/07 06:00 PM Dog and Cat Diary
Mocha's Mom Offline
Platinum Poster
Mocha's Mom
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 633
Western MA
Since I have seen several dog and cat postings here recently, I had to just pass along something I found funny. Having grown up with yard cats (not allowed in the house) and then adopting my first puppy last year from a shelter, I have now been in both worlds and could relate to this. I could visualize my own pup in this. I thought it was funny, I hope you'all do to!!


Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bast%&$s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now, at least...

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#765107 - 06/29/07 06:05 PM Re: Dog and Cat Diary Mocha's Mom
Sandy Beech Offline
Power Poster
Sandy Beech
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,595
^i^
i love this one!!!

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#765110 - 06/29/07 06:06 PM Re: Dog and Cat Diary Sandy Beech
DeeQ Offline
10K Club
DeeQ
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,766
Turnpike Exit 10
Yes, it is a goodie!
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

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#765160 - 06/29/07 06:21 PM Re: Dog and Cat Diary DeeQ
*BUSTER* Offline
Power Poster
*BUSTER*
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,112
In hades.
I smile every time I read this, it is so true...
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Gun nut who enjoys doughnuts!!!


I never finish anyth

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#765189 - 06/29/07 06:33 PM Re: Dog and Cat Diary *BUSTER*
Simply Sheldon Offline
Diamond Poster
Simply Sheldon
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,047
S.E. TX
This really made me LOLoad..

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#765361 - 06/29/07 07:33 PM Re: Dog and Cat Diary Simply Sheldon
#Just Jay Offline
10K Club
#Just Jay
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 14,390
Cheeseheadland
lol...very, very true!
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I don't repeat gossip, so listen closely...

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