Fortune Teller
During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
“Will I be acquitted?”
Going to He!!
A drunken man gets on the bus late at night. He staggers up the aisle and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks him up and down and says “I’ve got news for you buster. You’re going straight to he!!”.
The man jumps up and shouts” Driver let me off. I’m on the wrong bus”.
_________________________
I'll be in the hospital bar.
Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
The first one is a hoot!
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