Key to a good marriage? Share housework. (Not children)

By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer
Sun Jul 1, 6:54 AM ET


NEW YORK - The percentage of Americans who consider children "very important" to a successful marriage has dropped sharply since 1990, and more now cite the sharing of household chores as pivotal, according to a sweeping new survey.

The Pew Research Center survey on marriage and parenting found that children had fallen to eighth out of nine on a list of factors that people associate with successful marriages — well behind "sharing household chores," "good housing," "adequate income," a "happy sexual relationship" and "faithfulness."

In a 1990 World Values Survey, children ranked third in importance among the same items, with 65 percent saying children were very important to a good marriage. Just 41 percent said so in the new Pew survey.

Chore-sharing was cited as very important by 62 percent of respondents, up from 47 percent in 1990.

The survey also found that, by a margin of nearly 3-to-1, Americans say the main purpose of marriage is the "mutual happiness and fulfillment" of adults rather than the "bearing and raising of children."

The survey's findings buttress concerns expressed by numerous scholars and family-policy experts, among them Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of Rutgers University's National Marriage Project.

"The popular culture is increasingly oriented to fulfilling the X-rated fantasies and desires of adults," she wrote in a recent report. "Child-rearing values — sacrifice, stability, dependability, maturity — seem stale and musty by comparison."

Snip........ Yahoo AP

Actually, there are Ten words to a successful marriage...

I'm sorry, it's my fault. It will never happen again.

been married a long time?

Can't you tell?? he has been trained properly...

You forgot "Yes Dear"...

I'm not surprised that chore-sharing was at the top of the list. Whether they choose to have kids or not - even regardless of actually being married - a successful relationship for most couples means living together and having to negotiate taking care of space they both share. I know that division of labor around the house was a huge issue between my parents. It was also a huge issue for me, living with my first boyfriend.

Even harder is getting the kids to share in the housework...

Let me know how you get that to happen TICG, I haven't found a solution for that one...

I have to say, I am always happier when my husband piches in around the house. We don't have kids, but he works and goes to school full time, so most of the time I have to carry the burden of everything. My favorite time of year is when he doesn't take any summer classes and helps out.

you give them some spending cash- or you ground them until their chores are done- whichever comes first.

Don't make them pick up their toys for several weeks, until they are unable to escape from their rooms. Then have a parade, and they will be forced to clean their way out...

tried the cash, they didn't like my terms and conditions. Should have never taught them to read

If they only confined the toys to their room, I find light sabers(sp) all over

Also:

1. You look delicious in that!


2. What butt? It's so small I can hardly see it.


3. That glamorous, new hairstyle gives me goose-bumps.


4. Does who look attractive? I didn't notice.


5. Forget it. I would never re-marry. I would pine away for you until I died a miserable, lonely death.


6. I was such a loser before I married you.


7. Boy, I wish my mother was as cool as yours.


8. From a distance, I couldn't tell if it was you or some teenager.


9. You should eat more. You're looking a little thin.


10. Being married to her would be miserable.

The key to marriage is simple... make sure you work opposite shifts so that you only see each other long enough to say I love you a couple times a week.

Actually, CB, you're not too far from the truth. We did work opposite shifts for 21 years. Good part was we didn't get a chance to fight. Bad part was we didn't get a chance to do anything else. I think it was easier to cope with my divorce since I had already been sleeping alone for so many years since he worked the 11:00 - 7:30 shift and I had the bed to myself.

Of course, it would have helped had he split the household chores but that didn't happen either. As a matter of fact, he wasn't much of a father either. Oh well, never mind... Don't ask me for marriage advice.

That is funny that you say that...my husband and I are in this situation. He also goes to school, so we really don't see each other much, but we do make the most of the time we have. I am actually wondering if we will drive each other crazy when the schedules change in a few years. LOL

LOL, CB. When my husband switched from nights to days, we divorced... oh well.