Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME [censored], why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

How many peppers could Peter Piper pick if Peter Piper picked peppers?

What did me and Julio actual DO down by the schoolyard?

who is Sharona and why are you singing about her?

why is Beige just chasin her butt? Won't anyone else chase it?

Just how much wood can a woodchuck chuck? And where is he chucking it?

In the original Star Wars, why didn't the Empire just blow up the planet between the Death Star and Yavin, then destroy Yavin, instead of going around it?

Why were four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie? Who wants to eat blackbird pie? Wouldn't the feathers get in the way of the taste?

I can't take credit for this...the original thought was from happy...

When your actually typing, and not speaking, are you really breaking your silence?

maybe if you type real loud?

Why is it "hello pot, meet kettle", instead of any other like objects?

My keyboard makes a lovely clacking sound.

MAW MAW

Huh? I don't understand this.

the pot calling the kettle black...abbreviated

Why is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" connote approximately the same likelihood of occurence?

Why is it that Friday still seems a long way away???????

Who put the bomp in the bomp de bomp de bomp? And what exactly is a bomp anyway?

Why do cars drive on parkways, but park in driveways?

If Thursday is the new friday, is Wednesday still hump day?

Should I tell my mom, or just conceal the pregnancy by wearing baggy clothes?

If you're preggers, I want to alert the nation media!

Because you can't park the car in the garage with all the junk being stored there.

Why is there braille on the keypad for the drive-up ATM?

cause you can have a car service take you there...

Why do fools fall in love?