I was disappointed when I introduced myself to at least 4 different BOL users at the conference. Seems like no one was interested in opening the click a bit wider. All 4 are prominent BOL addicts. On one occasion, maybe at Sunday nights reception I milled around the front area of the exhibit hall where the BOL group had gathered trying to edge myself into on of the inner circles, but no one seemed to be having any part of that. I even had my "I hang out at BOL" pin on that night and all through the conference. At one point BOL users were being ushered together for the group photo that is pictured on BOL. Again I was ignored and overlooked. Early Monday evening,once again some of the BOL inner group were gathered in the bar area, I made an attempt to start a conversation, but everyone was caught up with each other. I had so looked forward to meeting some of these folks face to face so I was really disappointed when things turned out this way.

I wasn't there, but I am sure it was unintentional. Please don't take it personally.

But Anonymous, how did they know it was you?

That often happens with people who know each other pretty well. I have felt that way on occasion. All I can say is that time usually takes care of it. The seasoned BOL'rs are people too and it is sometimes easier for them to just talk to those they know. Folks who may seem very outgoing in chat may not be so outgoing in person. Did you engage them in conversation or did you expect them to engage you? Sometimes the fault lies on both sides. We are all human and have a hard time mixing it up with people we don't know that well. I can think of two different groups that I am now very involved with that at first seemed cliquish--turns out that they are super people, just a little shy about approaching the new person. I make it a point to go out of my way for the new folks. Maybe the seasoned BOL'rs just need a reminder. Maybe next year, MB can arrange some sort of event or a heads-up regarding new folks.

I second that thought on a get together for the new folks, because as shy as I am not in writing, I am certainly different in person.
I wasn't there, either, but having been to a lot of different meetings with people I don't know, I can understand how you felt uncomfortable.
Keep on posting and you will get to know everyone and make a friend or two or three or four...well you get the point!

Pick a screen name for yourself. Once the BOL regulars get to perceive a personality and associate it with your screen name, they're more likely to loosen up a little.

I do have a screen name and have posted approx 400 times. Ma

My apologies. I assumed . . . and that bit me in the a$$.

Gosh, I'm certainly surprised to hear this message. I'm probably one of the guilty parties as I was present in almost all situations described in the first post. All I can do is offer my apologies Anon. I certainly would not want to push anyone out of the "BOL Circle."

I had several people introduce themselves to me and was so pleased to meet so many that I hadn't before. It was great to match up names and faces.

Again, please accept my apology if I owe you one. Thanks for bringing this up. We all need lessons on being more sensitive to others.

Ditto to David's reply. I do apologize if I in any way gave offense. I met a lot of people at conference that I hadn't met previously. Whether or not they posted on BOL was not something I necessarily looked for, although I was eager to meet some BOLers I hadn't met before.

Another person's view: While I didn't attempt to join the "inner circle" of BOL, I did introduce myself to Mary Beth and Andy and found them very friendly; in fact both of them suggested registering for the site instead of using "anonymous" and I'm going to do that.

You know it's funny, everyone reacts differently in different situations. When I went to the reception, I figured that I don't post that often (or in a "heavyweight" way, so even when I pushed myself into someone's conversation (although I call it "friendly" - you might say "busybody") and I recognized that person from BOL, I didn't say anything because I was embarassed that person would think "oh, EllenA, what a _____" (jerk, lightweight, fuzzball, take your pick). Of course, thanks to Magic Banker, I didn't go completely incognito, but those BOL's I did meet were very nice to me and I enjoyed getting to know them (and to those that joined in the glass-raising remember, same time next year).

Not to make light of the post, I am jealous that you all have employers that would pay to let you go to something like this. I haven't been out of town on training for 10 years. It would almost be worth it to be dissed by the BOL group to get to go to the NRCC (whatever that is).

I have always had trouble with people assuming me to be cold and unfriendly – I can’t help it – damn it, I am an Alien! The point I am trying to make is that we should not let one incident spoil what may have been a very enlightening experience – I have found out that my dry and weird sense of humor has gone a long way in breaking the ice, although it has also got me into trouble resulting in breaking of some dental structures! Cheer up, life is too short to be worry about little issues. Look at the big picture: mine!

Plus, most people don't realize how very shy I am.

I hate hearing this! BOL is like a family and the last thing we want is for anyone to feel they are not included.

David says he's shy -- but he's kidding. He obviously never meets a stranger. I talked to Andy and MagicBanker the first night of the conference and asked them to rate their shyness on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "Not at all shy" and 10 being "Extremely shy". Andy rated himself a 10; Jim rated himself an 8; and I'd say I'm a pretty solid 9. I can get up and speak in front of 1,000 people and feel no fear, but put me in a room with a few people I haven't formally met before and I'm Jello.

Couple that with the fact that they put nametags on our chests. Isn't that just where you want to stare -- especially if the nametag wearer is female? Yikes.

I truly enjoyed meeting everyone. At the next conference, please just say "I want to go wherever the BOL folks are going" and we will welcome your company. When I was grabbing people for pictures and the like I was very worried about coming off as too pushy.

I don't know who you are, but you have my apologies and a guarantee that whenever and wherever the next conference is where BOL folk will gather, I will do my best to ensure you feel very much a part of this group.

I hated cliques in high school and I still hate them today.

I sincerely hope I wasn't one of the ones that snubbed you. If I was, please accept my humble apologies. I know, from countless experiences, how it feels to be on the outside. The last thing I'd ever do is intentionally subject someone else to that same feeling.

I know I met several BOL'ers while in the lobby Saturday evening before dinner with Mary Beth and Andy. And the three of us went off to dinner on our own, so it may have felt like we were snubbing someone - but the truth is the three of us had already arranged to go to dinner to work out our ideas for the magic show on Tuesday night, so it was not that we were being anti-social, just that we had work to do.

I know I tried to meet and be open to as many BOL'ers as I could find at the conference. But as Mary Beth stated, I would rate my shyness level as very high. I don't mingle well at all without magic props in my hands. That's one of the reasons I enjoy magic so much - it lets me become someone else that is much more open with others than I am myself.

If I was one that snubbed you, please send me a Private Message and let me know. I want to know so I can make amends to you and also so I can know what to look out for at future events.

As with the others, I too apologize but would encourage you to jump right in next time. Give us another chance, please.

One evening we were just heading into a restaurant and SJB introduced himself and joined the group right there on Connecticut Ave. We had a great time pal'g with the Pope.

Don't be as shy as some of us. I can only join the group because these are folks I have meet there for the last few years.

I don't mean to prolong this, and I'm not looking for an apology, but I had the same experience as the first anon. poster. I tried to meet up with other BOLers after Mary Beth's identity theft session on Sunday, but had no luck. I introduced myself to a couple gurus on Monday and Tuesday and attended the magic show (which was great, by the way) on Tuesday night. I had heard rumblings of a get together later that evening, but I wasn't told where or when. So, I went off on my own and then found that a good time was had by all who went to Mary Beth's pizza party. I understand the issue of shyness, and I'd put myself at a 10 on the shyness scale, so I take some of the blame myself, but I did try. Maybe next year we can organize ourselves a little better - plan our meeting places/events ahead of time and wear our BOL nametags from the beginning of the conference. All in all, the conference was very good, but I, too, was disappointed at my own lack of interaction with the BOL family.

Thank you for the compliment on the show. It was fun, nerve racking, but fun.

I know I saw a larger group I thought was BOL'ers after the show, but by the time we were packed up and ready to go upstairs, most had left. Perhaps we were too slow?

Goals for 2004, better communication with all!

Are you shy?

Anon:
Just think how popular I would be! BOL is a clickish group and don't let anyone convince you that that is not true - you experienced it first hand.

That's it, I'm out of this water cooler.