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#967685 - 06/02/08 07:38 PM Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season
HappyGilmore Offline
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Posts: 19,607
Pulling people out of the ditc...
And I don't mean the University of Miami, but the real hurricane season. Of course, to believe the self-important media, it "might just possibly be the worst hurricane season on record." (places hands of both saides of head and screams incessantly, while running in circles panicing) The again, the high spring-flood levels of the Mississippi River may cool the Gulf of Mexico and protect us from a major storm (removes hands, stops screaming, calms down). Then again, you might want to pack it up and move to Colorado until the end of November (immediately looks for boxes to begin packing, starts screaming again).

Yes folks, you guessed it, the local paper, TV, and radio stations are doing their annual "Panic in the Streets" hurricane coverage. Just yesterday, the paper had an entire section on what supplies you would need to have to last 2 weeks after a hurricane. And the local TV stations are all reliving the Katrina aftermath. And they are interviewing anyone and everyone about the prediction od the number of storms this years.

Hello...people...we have all been through this before, and we know this. Stop trying to scare everyone...

Too bad you can't legislate common sense
Last edited by Happy Gilmore; 06/02/08 07:43 PM.
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#967696 - 06/02/08 07:54 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season HappyGilmore
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
It's started here too.

You need to put your hurricane shutters on and immediately go out and purchase 47 cases of water, 150 batteries of every size and shape, 3 gas generators (plus 1,500 gallons of gas to run it), and 2,553 cans of pork & beans, spam, and dinty moore stew.
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#967712 - 06/02/08 08:05 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season MB Guy
Snow Bunny Offline
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In the Snow :)
Are you sure you want to head to Colorado - what with the tornados, frigid temps they had this past winter, and some record snowfalls?
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#967716 - 06/02/08 08:09 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Snow Bunny
waldensouth Offline
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FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
It's so hot here - where on earth is a person supposed to store the gas to run the generators where it won't explode and burn down the house?!!
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#967719 - 06/02/08 08:10 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Snow Bunny
waldensouth Offline
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FINALLY ABOVE the gnat line
It's so hot here - where on earth is a person supposed to store the gas to run the generators where it won't explode and burn down the house?!!


Oh and thanks for the warning about the 2553 cans of pork and beans!
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#967738 - 06/02/08 08:33 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season waldensouth
Bimmer Offline
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Wherever the plane lands
For those like me in the Hurricane zone, here is the Hurricane Preparedness Gide.


HURRICANE PREPAREDNESS GUIDE

Dave Barry

We are entering the heart of hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic and making two basic meteorological points:

1. There is no need to panic.

2. We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in South Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." The best way to get information on this topic is to ask people who were here during Hurricane Andrew (we're easy to recognize, because we still smell faintly of b.o. mixed with gasoline). Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.

STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in South Florida. If you're one of those people, you'll want to clip out the following useful hurricane information and tuck it away in a safe place so that later on, when a storm is brewing, you will not be able to locate it.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE -- If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska. Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Andrew, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, both Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS -- Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

-- Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

-- Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

-- Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

-- "Hurricane-proof" windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

"HURRICANE PROOFING" YOUR PROPERTY: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects such as barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles. (If you happen to have deadly missiles in your yard, don't worry, because the hurricane winds will turn THEM into harmless objects).

EVACUATION ROUTE -- If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two million other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! South Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of Spam. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

-- 23 Flashlights.

-- At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

-- Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some, darn it!)

-- A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.

-- A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

-- A large quantity of bananas, to placate the monkeys. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate monkeys.)

-- $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over again how vitally important it for everybody to stay the [censored] away from the ocean.

At that point, if you've prepared all you can, there's frankly nothing left to for you to do but pray. I mean for a really BIG wave.
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#967747 - 06/02/08 08:46 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Bimmer
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@ Bimmer

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#967759 - 06/02/08 08:54 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Lisa_Bates
#Just Jay Offline
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Cheeseheadland
Yeah, I ♥ Wisconsin afterall.
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#967778 - 06/02/08 09:12 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season #Just Jay
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we are in a Hurricane evacuation path, 150 miles from the coast, which is about how far the backup was for Hurricane Rita, plus there wasn't a bottle of water to buy for 100 miles around!
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#967786 - 06/02/08 09:17 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Pale Rider
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
150 miles from the coast Pale?

LOL, that's almost wider than some of the state of Florida!

My house is 3/4 mile from the Gulf, lol.
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#967787 - 06/02/08 09:17 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Pale Rider
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Do they publish a list of the hurricane names they will be using in the upcoming season?

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#967789 - 06/02/08 09:18 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Miscuit
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just came out today!

use that googler on the internets, will ya?
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#967793 - 06/02/08 09:22 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Pale Rider
Miscuit Offline
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I don't google at work. I'm on too many "lists" as is!

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#967794 - 06/02/08 09:23 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season MB Guy
Bimmer Offline
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Wherever the plane lands
Originally Posted By: MB Guy
150 miles from the coast Pale?

LOL, that's almost wider than some of the state of Florida!

My house is 3/4 mile from the Gulf, lol.


I'm about 1 mile from the Atlantic
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#967795 - 06/02/08 09:24 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Miscuit
Pale Rider Offline
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under the Lone Star
Arthur
Bertha
Cristobal
Dolly
Edouard
Fay
Gustav
Hanna
Ike
Josephine
Kyle
Laura
Marco
Nana
Omar
Paloma
Rene
Sally
Teddy
Vicky
Wilfred



in that case, I am at your service - my favs are Bertha, Ike and Paloma
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#967797 - 06/02/08 09:25 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Pale Rider
Bimmer Offline
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Wherever the plane lands
WT heck is a Cristobal???




I think it is spanglish for Crystal Ball
Last edited by Pale Rider; 06/02/08 09:29 PM.
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#967798 - 06/02/08 09:26 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Bimmer
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
Bim, you're by Daytona, right?

Careful, that's the one that might get us, lol.
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#967802 - 06/02/08 09:28 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season MB Guy
Bimmer Offline
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Originally Posted By: MB Guy
Bim, you're by Daytona, right?

Careful, that's the one that might get us, lol.


Yep!

Only been here 3 years and haven't had to deal with a Hurricane yet! :crossing fingers and toes avatar emoticon smiley:
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#967806 - 06/02/08 09:31 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Bimmer
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
Eh, I've been in SW FL for 10+ years and only had a couple close calls and one hit.

My lanai screen got mangled in '05, but that's about it.
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#967807 - 06/02/08 09:32 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season MB Guy
#Just Jay Offline
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Cheeseheadland
I love how you all call them lanais... so posh and frufru!

We just call 'em patios up here!
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#967811 - 06/02/08 09:33 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season #Just Jay
Bimmer Offline
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Originally Posted By: Just Jay
I love how you all call them lanais... so posh and frufru!

We just call 'em patios up here!


They are patios here too! Until you build a screen room around them, then they are lanais
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#967812 - 06/02/08 09:34 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season #Just Jay
Pale Rider Offline
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lanai.................. ain't them the tankless water heaters?

how come you had a screen on that?
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#967813 - 06/02/08 09:34 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season #Just Jay
MB Guy Offline
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Way, way south.
LOL, I'm from Pittsburgh originally, so trust me, I'm not fru-fru, but you do get indoctrinated into the FL lingo.
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#967814 - 06/02/08 09:34 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season #Just Jay
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I remember the days when I traveled for work. Any hurricane that started with the letter "I" always hit the state I was visiting during hurricane season.

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#967815 - 06/02/08 09:36 PM Re: Welcome to the 2008 Hurricane Season Pale Rider
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Originally Posted By: Pale Rider
lanai.................. ain't them the tankless water heaters?

how come you had a screen on that?


That's Rinnai Pale!

You must have been listening to Rush!
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