To the CFPB, any bank under 10 Billion is a small entity. Also, you are considered a small entity for other purposes if your asset size is under 1 Billion.
If you are on the general email/blog recipient list, you are getting the same things that everyone else is (large or small). To my knowledge they don't have a separate list of small, medium, and large banks. This is the best guidance you will find short of actually reading the rules themselves...and even this guidance tells you it is not a substitute for reading the actual rules.
As far as the different rules, you will need to follow them all unless you meet any of the exemptions listed within the rules. For the comp rule, there is no exemption based on asset size.
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I can't herd the cats anymore, so I just set up the electric fences and let them fry when they stray out of bounds.