Working people frequently ask me what I do to make my days interesting now that I'm retired.
The other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.

When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi."

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo."

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Romney in '08."

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

That's great! I'll have to do that some time.

speaking of tickets - has anyone watched that parking wars show (it's called something like that)? It's great!

I am sure the owner of that car is highly appreciative too.

Read that joke somewhere else before... I don't see many cops writing parking tickets but when I do... (((evil grin)))

I've became hooked on the show Parking Wars. I just love to see people yell @ others in uniform. Man, I'd hate to have that job.

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her shopping trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out quickly. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women - she loved to browse. (Usually Mrs. Fenton would leave her husband in the restaurant area with a cup of coffee or a paper, but she did not always see him there as she shopped.)
After a few months of this, Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local WalMart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our various complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and most are documented by our video surveillance cameras, as well.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares... Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he would invite them in IF they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When an associate offered to help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

I was just thinking of this joke/story was going to try to find it... Thanks Mtn

Mr. Fenton sounds like my big brother ( that makes him 54 years young!) He likes to go in the toy dept. where they have all those talking dolls and stuffed animals. Then he goes down the aisle and presses all of their paws or buttons and has all of them talking and singing at once! Embarasses the heck out of my sister in law!