You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is
spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car.

Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt
anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'


In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses
on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go until they have your
prescriptions ready at Walmart while you're so close too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go into store and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. [censored] out loud and you think someone called out your name.
You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Loved this!

Fraudman...what a way to start an ole stinkin Monday off!
LO stinkin L!

I actually have been this person over the past couple of weekends. I changed my shirt and muddy shoes, put on a baseball cap, and that's about it -- except I don't wear shorts with a hole in the crotch, even to work in the yard.

So - are you in your 40's?

North of 49 and south of 60.

I'm in my mid-40's and I wear overalls to do yardwork. But I don't change just to go to Lowe's (Home Depot is too far away). I grew up in the country and manure on your shoes was proof that you worked for a living. Granted, dog poop ain't manure, but I've got no shame.

Heck, I walked 4 miles and gave the dog a bath and then went to Kroger's in the same clothes.

No sir, no shame at all.

The Home Depot is actually closer to my house than Loewe's, but I go to Loewe's more often because I like it better.

I have been spending way too much time at both of those places, they are starting to know me by name...ugh.

Bugs, I like your avi!!

Heck, Lowes sends my husband a get well card if he doesn't visit at least twice a week. With the new house he's been spending lots of time and money there. Oh - and he's in his 50's and the listing is accurate.