Feared Somali pirate retiring from pirate business

I love the Yahoo comments!!

A press conference? What kind of...pirate holds a press conference? Blackbeard must be rolling in his grave.

"Obviously the guy has never seen Princess Bride."

You know it. Where's the parrot? Where's the eye patch? Where's the rum? He might as well be an accountant..

At a press conference—possibly the first to be held by a retiring pirate—Mohamed Abdi Hassan, known as "Afweyne" or "big mouth,"

And no one thought to arrest the guy while he was holding his press conference?

Are there no drones in Somalia?

And who is "Feared"?

Are we distraught that Afweyne is retiring?

Why are we afraid he is retiring?

OMD!!!

he's sending out invites on facebook, make sure to RSVP. but if you do go to his retirement party it's expected that you bring at least one dish, and don't bring chips and dip, that's what ALL the pirates are bringing and it's so cliche. i hear he's partial to penne pasta with a lightly seasoned cream sauce..

The Dread Pirate Big Mouth?

A pirate walks into the bar and orders a jug o' grog. Bartender says, "Hey Cap'n, why are ye wearing an eye patch?"

Cap'n says: "Cuz I haven't got enough booty to afford an I-Pad!"

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--yarrgh, er, pooped--in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes.

What shivers at the bottom of the sea?

A nervous wreck.

Apparently chips and dip, since all the pirates bring it.

^^^that ain't even a pirate joke^^^

Apparently only a few of us find this so hysterical!

The usual screwballs...

How many pirates does it take to screw in a light bulb?

it's the rum talking

"'The pirating business apparently isn’t what it used to be.'
Uh, looks to me that it is SO lucrative, he made the early retirement list"

Four. One to change the light bulb, and two to resuscitate the forth pirate who got his hook caught in the socket!