Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words...my personal favorites - 9, 10, 12 & 13.
1. Coffee - the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly - impotent.
6. Negligent - describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph - to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle - gross olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence - emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Rectitude - the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
12. Pokémon - a Rastafarian proctologist
13. Circumvent - an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
14. Frisbeetarianism - The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.......
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