For those of you that haven't read my previous posts, my 6 year old daughter has some pretty serious undiagnosed problems. Well it has gotten so much worse. She was sent home 4 days last week and again yesterday. Her teacher had to evacuate her classroom twice last week because it was dangerous for all the other kids. She's been throwing chairs accross the room, she pushes all the furniture in to one corner (and if the other kids won't move she moves them). They have had to restrain her multiple times. And when we try to get her in the car she kicks, screams, tried to kick out the window, and this goes on for sometimes hours. She finally sees the psychiatrist on April 16th, then we should get the appointment for the nuerologist. I'm excited that we may be getting closer, but it seems so far away.

I'm confused and frusterated, and scared. I'm afraid that they will find something wrong like autism or bipolar (this is what she is being testing for specifically among other things) and she will never be able to live a so called "normal" life, popping pills forever and being percieved as less than "normal" by not so informed people. But with medication she could get better.

If they don't find anything, maybe her mental/behavoir problems can be fixed with a couple few years of intense counceling, but then we will be doing this for a couple few years, however, when she's older she will be able to cope with no help, medicinally or otherwise.

Then there is the school thing, she has already failed kindergarten once for her behavoir, she may have to do it again. How many times can she be in the same grade? I can't afford to stay home and homeschool her. She hasn't been diagnosed so I can't get disability for her, so that I can stay home. I'm getting in trouble at work for having to leave all the time, picking her up from school, doctors appts., school meetings.

I joined a support group here in town, but Evyn is the most disturbed child there and that just made me feel worse. Not to mention it's really hard to get anyone to keep an eye on all three of my kids when one of them is this difficult.

I'm about at my wits end. Sometimes I just want to go home and cry, and sometimes I do.

Thank you for letting me pour my heart out.

I am the mother of a bipolar son, an adult now but I can see behavior in his childhood that makes sense now. I'm sorry your daughter is going thru this but you are taking the steps you need to find help for her. She can live a "normal" life with a diagnosis and the proper meds. I can tell you that you will probably never stop worring about her, but I would stronly suggest that once you have a diagnosis you find help for you also. Information, education on whatever it is will help you to live with it and in the end help her. See if there is a NAMI chapter in your area and sign up for their "Family to Family" course (or whatever they are calling it now). After our son was diagnosed we took that 8 week course and it helped soooooo much. There are also support groups thru NAMI that you can attend, to be with other family memebers that are living with the same or similar situations.

You and your daughter will be in my prayers. PM me is you just want to talk, I've probably been there and felt that before (or maybe even right now)

Memo,
I have been exactly where you are. My oldest son(now 10)was suspended from kindergarten 3 times, he was then removed from the school and homeschooled by a state educator(maryland). They then found placement for him in a special education school. He was diagnosed with ADHD, with depression and Oppositional Defiance disorder (ODD). We started him on behaivior modification charts. Little rewards for exhibiting the good behavoirs and less negative for the bad. In first grade he was sent home from school for chasing another kid with scissors. It was then that I thought maybe I should try to get him some meds. I was dead set against them to begin with. After trying a couple of different one, we have found concerta and that helps him have a normal school day, he is able to control his impulsive bahavior with it.
I still to this day use behavior modification charts with him at home to correct some negative behavior with siblings.

Most of his teachers were also willing to do charts at school to help correct the problem area and we met together to set our goals.

Somedays can still be rough but taking time for yourself will help you deal better when those days come.

I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me anytime you need to vent!!!

Hang in there...hopefully you will receive answers soon. Once you receive a diagnosis you will be able to forge forward.

How long has this been going on?

Memo, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. I can't imagine how hard it is trying to deal with all those emotions!
Know that you and your family are in my thoughts!
Prayers for a brighter day are coming your way!!!

MemoQ, you are in my thoughts. I am sorry that I have no advice to offer you.

Will the school system or the state provide tutoring for her so she doesn't stay back again?

Did either one of you have to take your kids to a nuerologist? Can you tell me what to expect? Is it just like curriculum testing or are they going to put her in a machine and scan her brain? They told me they need to find out if there is a trigger to her outburst or if they are sponteneuous (sp).

kms- my daughter threatened to cut off her own fingers with some scissors at school, so I know exactly what your talking about, I was pretty dead set on "she's to young for drugs" too. But now I'm more afraid that she will hurt herself, or someone else, and if she hurt another child, I don't think I could live with myself.

Thank you both, I may very well take you up on those pm offers, but fair warning the days I feel like I'm going to snap have been out-weighing the good days by far.
Thanks again.

I don't really know when this all started, I think she's always had problems, but I contributed them to the fact that she was almost 8 weeks premature and I just figured she would grow out of it. It probably started getting bad just before she started school, so about 2 years.

The school has been helping me alot more since I went up there crying my eyes out to the counselor, but they just don't have the means, being such a small town. We have meetings at the school every month to discuss what we should try next and what seems to work but what seems to be working one week makes it worse the next. Most of our meetings these days end up in a whole lot of "I don't know".

I hope they can figure it out for you. My heart goes out to you and your family. This is just a thought, but have you had your daughter tested for allergies? My cousin was a wholly terror in her younger years until the doctors discovered she had a whole lot of allergies. She had many temper tantrums and acted out physically too. Just a thought...once they learned what she shouldn't eat, or was allergic to, her whole personality changed, and she's now in her twenties and is a wonderful person.

Here are a couple of links that shows the allergy idea isn't crazy!!

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/1998-10/NJMa-GLSC-011098.php

http://pages.prodigy.net/unohu/arousal_allergies.htm

I can't check out the links until I get home, but (this sounds really bad) Evyn's psychologist advised me to put her on Benadryl at night to make sure that it wasn't sleep deprivation (just temporarily until I can get something prescribed) So if it were allergies, wouldn't the Benadryl have fixed that?

Benadryl is an over the counter medication so the potency is limited and only lasts for the night. If she's repeatedly exposed to or ingesting whatever is triggering an allergic reaction, Benadryl isn't enough to fix it.

Memo,
My son never saw a neurologist. They first did the allergy tests, then the adhd/odd tests. He also had his tonsils and adnoids removed to aid in sleep apnea. He still has times when he threatens to hurt himself. If it turns out to be the adhd/odd there are a lot of support groups and classes you can take to learn how to better handle home life and school life for your daughter. They have been a great support for me. For awhile I felt like I was yelling at him all of the time, now for the most part I can stop myself and come at him with a calm soft voice (which throws him off gaurd enough to stop what he is foinf) and tell him I just need to have some one on one time. It has gotten easier as he gets older. He now understands that a lot of this is out of his control too.

Unfortunately kids have long memories and kids that saw him before his meds are hesitant to befriend him. At least I am to the point that I don't dread the phone ringing at work telling me to come pick up my son. When I was in the Air Force the shop I was working in called him little bin laden and it used to make me feel like such a failure as a mother.
Now that I have been through some of the parenting classes for kids with these problem, I know that it is not my fault or his.

I didn't know that allergies could make a child act out like this, I'll ask the doctor next month when we go. I get the results back from Evyn's ADHD test tommorrow, but the psychologist said he was pretty sure that's not what it is. She is sometimes withdrawn, and sometimes the complete opposite. And the doc said that that wasn't the case for most ADHD kids, theirs is usually constant hyperactivity for the most part according to him. But with my daughter, she'll have one of her outbursts, then fall asleep 5 minutes later like nothing ever happened. And other times she will hide under a desk or she will ball herself up in a corner, and she won't let anyone touch her, and she completely ignors everything and anyone around her. when they did a bunch of curriculum testing on her they found that she has an unbelievable memory. You can read a book to her one time, and she will have at least the first page memorized word for word. Not just kid books either, we have done it with my books too.

My son saw a nuerologist in high school but for an assortment of symptoms that no one could figure out. He had many catscans (spelling???) with nothing unusual found. Actually the first diagnosis for him was clinical depression, the bipolar diagnosis took a number of years for various doctors to finally decide on. I do know that when he is manic, he can be physical.

Has anyone tested him for autism (again, my spelling is probably wrong)? From what I have read and seen lately there are many mild forms of autism that sound a little like what you just discribed. (please forgive my bad spelling today, brain must be on hold or something)

The earlier they diagnois autism, the easier it is for the child and the parent. There is so much that can be done for autistic children now. Its not like it used to be. She could live a relatively normal life - whatever that is.

Rereading this thread I realized no one answered your question regarding what to expect at the neurologist's. From my experiences, the first time is usually spent answering a lot of questions after which the dr will do a simple exam. Some of the things he might have Evyn do include standing on one foot; having her close her eyes and touch a specific finger to her nose; basic physical stuff like heartbeat, etc.

It's unlikely that he would do a CAT scan or an EEG at that visit. They normally have to be scheduled through a hospital unless the dr's office is big enough to have his own equipment. The CAT scan is the test where you lay on a skinny table which slides in while it takes numerous pictures of the brain (or body) in a circle. It's so they get the pictures literally from every angle.

An EEG is a brain wave scan, often done after being up for 24 hours. They glue little electrodes to your head (no sticking pins involved) and record the brain's electrical activity while resting and sometimes while stimulated by lights or sounds.

I know it's really hard because you're worried and scared but try not to anticipate the worst. You've gotten a lot of ideas and suggestions here that might lead you to helping the doctor find your daughter's problem quickly. Keep notes about her moods, etc., so you can answer his questions. See if you notice any triggers for her behaviours. Ask the teachers to help you too.

Good luck and keep us posted on the outcome, please.

We went to her appt. yesterday to get the results from her ADHD test. The audio part of the test came back average, and the visual came back way below average. I now have to make her an appointment for the optometrist to have a thourough eye exam to make sure that her eyes move together correctly and that her brain is communicating well with her eyes. He also said that according to all of her testing and his interviews with her that she should be doing really bad in school, that she has very low self confidence. Well she has the highest grade in her class, she has the highest average on all of her A/R testing, she's made her A/R goal more often then anyone else. The only thing holding her back is her behavior.

I asked her dr about the allergy testing, he said that allergies are the case in less than like 1 in a thousand. He also said that it is a pretty painful process and that with as violent as she is right now there are other things he would like to rule out before putting her through that. He said that the pain from the graphs and needles and what not could make her less trustful of the doctors that are trying to help. If she doesn't trust the doctors then she'll become withdrawn on the days she has appointments.

And on a good note, her teacher called yesterday and said that as long as Evyn doesn't miss too much more school she will be going to 1st grade this year.

My son had alergy tests around that age, I struggled with the decision. It wasnt that bad, he's actually thrown bigger fits over booster shots.

Good luck with your daughter, I hope you find answers soon.

MQ, my heart goes out to you! I too wish I had some sort of answer for you.

As for Benedryl, when I was going through some tough times, my doctor once told me to take it as a short term sleep aid instead of prescribing something. It sounds like that is the reason they are having you give it to your daughter, purely for sleep instead of alergies.

My oldest granddaughter has severe allergies. When they had her tested they drew blood and ran some sort of anlaysis. it not only told them what she was allergic to but to what degree. You might do some online research about the test.

Her doctor said they would have to do graphing on her back and shoulder and that they would have to stick her with needles multiple times. I tried to look it up on the internet, but didn't find anything like what he's talking about. I think I'm going to call her pediatrician and ask what he thinks, and kind of get a run down of the procedure. She's had some relatively good days since this past Monday. It's starting to become pretty easy to pretend like it's going to stay good, which is a good thing because then I can spend good quality time with her without dwelling on the previous week.

I have had the kind of testing your physician is describing only I was an adult. I had the shots two row on each forearm. It took multiple visits. In the end I was allergic to everything. I took allergy shots (3/day, 5 days a week) for years. I now very effectively manage my allergies with a once daily medicine.
I will warn you that even though I knew what was going to happen and voluntarily agreed to it and paid for the privelege, the actual physical symptoms that come from it (itchy, swelling, heat) were miserable -- and I am a good patient.

How long did the symtoms last? If I could just dope her up for the day maybe she could sleep through it.

You have to be awake to respond to the questions like are you hot, having trouble breathing, itchy, etc. The swelling is immediate and noticeable. The discomfort only lasted a few hours but the marks on your forearms are tender for a couple of days. Nothing that's a big deal though, just tender.
Have they considered other tests? From my VERY limited information, I know that sometimes highly intelligent but socially awkward people may have a form of autism. I know enough to be dangerous so please forgive me if I say the wrong thing. I know the diagnosis comes in many flavors and can present differently. Several of my co-workers have children with the diagnosis. It manifests very differently in them but in all cases it has been treatable with remarkable results.