My granddaughter (15) has been acting very erratic lately - mood swings, lying, grades dropping. I'm concerned she might be exhibiting signs of being bipolar. I realize it could also be drugs. I contacted her doctor about an appointment for an overall evaluation to include full bloodwork (want to rule out biological issues). Any advice?

MaDukes,

I sit on the Board of a nonprofit in Minnesota that advocates for children's mental health. We have a resource available on our website ( Mental Health Fact Sheet ) that should be able to provide you with some good information. Has she exhibited any signs earlier on in life that might point towards Bipolar or depression? If so, that would seem to point towards this being a mental health issue and not drugs, alcohol, etc. As many know on here, my son (also 15) deals with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, ADHD, autism spectrum and at one point doctors believed he might also suffer from bipolar disorder. If it truly is bipolar disorder I would offer this piece of advice from my years of not handling my son's behaviors properly - always remember that she cannot control what is happening in her brain and do not take behaviors as rebellion or personal attacks. The bipolar should never become an excuse for bad behavior but should drive how you react to the behavior. I will be praying for you, her, and the rest of your family as you work to find answers. If you do learn that she is dealing with mental health issues, I am available to talk and share what little wisdom and advice I have.

Could be hormones (affects some worse than others), drugs or bipolar. Or extreme teenage rebellion.

One sign of drugs as well as bipolar disorder is mood swings and behavior that is not normal.

Getting a medical workup is the best thing you can do. This is the time in this girl's life that her choices and grades can affect her future life in a big way.

Good thing she has you to care about her.

thank you Purple Pride and Sherlocked! I am also considering hormones. I do a lot of reading on vitamins and minerals and their affect on the body (which is profound) so I want to make sure that these things are ruled out before pursuing a psychological approach. She's a a rough life - split between mother and father (I'm her paternal grandmother - she lives with us). Her mother died of a drug overdose the day after Thanksgiving (3 years this year) at the other grandmother's house. Luckily she was not there at the time - she had a falling out with her mother and didn't really talk with her much - would only go over there to see her half brother and half sister. Other grandmother is a whackjob - for lack of a better term and feel she was a lot of the cause behind the daughter's (and son's) problems. Her son moved half a world away (Korea) after a lifetime of sitting around doing nothing but playing video games and fighting with his mother. He's grown up a lot while away from her - was working, had his own place, girlfriend. So with all this I'm hoping she is smart enough to stay away from drugs but you never know.

Purple Pride I've been trying to treat her with kid gloves - yesterday my husband told her she could not go out - she snuck out through the garage and did not come home for hours (but still home before dark). She texted me a few times from her friend's phone that she just needed time away and she promised she would be home before dark. My daughter (her aunt) kept texting her and trying to call; my son (her father) was furious and kept texting and calling but they would not answer. I left her alone and felt that she was telling the truth that she would come back and she did. We did talk - I kept calm - did not yell at her and through the course of the evening I saw her attitude change - she went from somber to tearful to almost hysterically giddy. At that point I started leaning towards bipolar more than drugs (but still conserving drugs - she spent a lot of weekend days at the other grandmothers - now we don't know what she was doing there or who she was hanging around with). There is no communication between whackjob and us and she told granddaughter never to come back so I doubt we'd ever get any answers from her. It feels good to discuss - my husband is disabled and had a couple strokes and one of the residual effects is that he is a chronic worrier.

In my opinion it sounds like you are doing all the right things. I think it is wise to pursue physical (hormones, vitamins, chemical imbalance) first because those things are more straight forward to test. There really is no one correct path to follow, but as long as you can keep the lines of communication open with her and keep her coming home that can go a long way.

Keep up the good work.

I agree - as long as she comes home. I've had a number of talks with her recently and I remind her during them that we are having an adult conversation, that I'm not making any accusations and it seems to be working. Whether or not she is actually listening or thinking about getting her nails done is another story LOL. I copied your link so that I can read it at home - we have so many sites at work that we cannot access it borders on ridiculous.

Purple Pride, thank you for all your help! You and your son are in my prayers - I know it is not an easy road to travel and it does take time and a LOT of patience.

It's not an easy road but I think it is a worthwhile road. If it does turn out to be Bipolar Disorder, know that many people live very good lives while dealing with the disorder. Keep the long term well in view as you deal with the short term setbacks and it helps.

I've had personal experience with all three. In the order of their likelihood:
* the angst of being a teenage girl,
* drug (including alcohol) abuse, and
* bipolar disorder.

The first two are hard to deal with, the third is difficult for even a trained professional to diagnose; it should not be your first instinct.

There is a kit you can get at Walgreens to test for drugs. A friend of mine had a son that she suspected was smoking pot and this is the way she approached it. Luckily she found out he wasn't but was drinking vodka. It sounds like she has been through a lot. Have you thought about the possibility of Post Traumatic Syndrome? The symptoms can sometimes mimic bipolar disorder especially with hormones in teenagers that create all of these emotions. I would also get her in with a good counselor so she can talk about her feelings. If it is PTS the counselor can identify it and treat it with a combination of antidepressants and coping mechanisms. Bless her heart and yours. As a parent of a teenager I know it is difficult to know what to do sometimes. We just want to fix it but sometimes it just isn't an easy fix. Prayers for you and your granddaughter.

Glad Heather suggested something other than bipolar. I was thinking some sort of anxiety disorder. Lord knows the girl has lived through more than most people do in a lifetime. There could be guilt over not reconciling with her mother, etc. And, whether you realize it or not, the strong feelings you have about part of her family (as exhibited by calling the grandmother a whackjob) could be affecting her too. Teenage girls are about the most sensitive thing on the planet.

No matter what it ends up being, I commend you for getting her checked out now rather than waiting. And kudos too for talking to her respectfully and calmly. That can be so hard to do, but it's exactly the right way to keep the lines of communication open.

Also, don't rule out (or have checked out) Adult onset ADD or ADHD. It's amazing the 'symptoms' that in a previous life I would have NEVER connected to this malady~! I also know it's real...and not always 'just' a result of lack of discipline.

Best of luck to you..it does sound like you are taking action in an appropriate way without alienating her. (easy to do with ANY teenager!)

Another possibility is a new boyfriend that grandpa need to talk with while cleaning his shotgun.

Sure try to lure her into bank compliance

Thanks everyone!

I am going to have bloodwork done to rule out vitamin/mineral/hormonal imbalance. Also going to test for drugs.

She has known for quite a long time there has been no love lost between her mother's family and us - we've never vocalized it (we put up with years of being called liars, thieves, b*tches, etc and have kept our mouths shut). I have talked to her and explained somewhat why we don't get along. Counseling is definitely going to happen; she went briefly a few years ago but son didn't really follow up and make her go. I may call grandmom a whackjob but never in front of my granddaughter. I have told her that I don't trust her grandmother but have never called her names.

Thanks Ken!

My kids are in their 30's - think I'm getting a little to old for this. My mother's greatest threat growing up is "I hope you have kids just like you". My son must have really pi88ed her off LOL

madukes, there was no implication that you would have spoken ill of your granddaughter's family in front of her. I was speaking from experience that teenagers, in my case girls, pick up on a lot more than just words and are affected deeply by it. Looking back, it might have been better if I'd just expressed my feelings from the beginning rather than carefully couch it and let her imagination run with the little I did say.

Believe me, I understand Truffle Royale! We have told her some of the goings on now that she is older. Whether she believes us or not is a different story.

Is there a helpline that might be available through work? She may fall under your EAS plan if she lives with you and you are responsible for her as an adolescent.