Do you think it is normal at 26 not to have much of a sex drive although I am married and a female. I do have one child but this has been going on since I was like 19-20 years old.

They were talking about the sex drive patch on the news this morning. They stated it is not unusual for some women to have no sex drive. For most women it is a physical problem.

When I was younger I had a normal drive far as I was concerned. Not that I was doing it all the time or anything but I had desires. But now I really could care less about it beside the fact of wanting another child. It's not like a hate it but I don't desire it. Me and my husband still have it but I do it more for him then anything. I do like to be close to him but far as the pysical part of it I could care less. Sometimes I feel like we are missing out on our youth because sooner than later we will be in our 30's and 40's and probably both of us won't want it then. I love my husband dearly. That's not the probelm. I've also notice that I don't find others attractive. It's not that I would do anything if I did find someone else attractive. I just find it weird that when I see other men I have no attraction to them either. It's not just my husband. Anyone else have this problem.

"we will be in our 30's and 40's and probably both of us won't want it then."

Whoa there. We're 53 and still active. 8)

I wish I knew what was considered "normal". I think "normal" is a lot less than TV would make you think. I mean, TV makes you think you should be doing it several times a day! Most people have the time and/or energy a lot less.

I've been married almost 25 years. When we first got married, we had relations almost every other day. After a couple of years, it slowed to twice a week. Now we are on about once a week. I used to want it more often, but as I have gotten older, this seems right for both of us. We finally seem to be in sync with each other. Which is very nice.

Honesty Award presented to Nanwa!

I went anon for this one (I hope). I'm in my 40's and my husband is in his 50's and we're active. I don't know where you got your information that when a person gets into their 40's or 50's that their desire reduces. That may be true for some, but certainly not for everyone.

It obviously is something you're concerned about -- talk to your OBGYN and level with him/her about it. It could be a hormone thing. I went from one randy libido to not wanting any part of it and it was a reaction to the estrogen in my birth control pills.

For me, it's really a hormonal thing because I don't deal well with estrogen -- I'll have a couple of weeks where I want it every night and another week where I only want to be held. (And yeah, there's a couple of weeks missing - then I can get interested with help but I won't make the first pass).

The next step is to talk to a mental health professional if the physical side checks out. If nothing else, they deal with sexual dysfunctions resulting from all kinds of sources. This is one of those things that starts in your brain, so if there isn't something physically blocking your libido, your brain is probably playing tricks on you.

And on that note, I'm going to go log back on.

Good luck -- and don't make any bets on your 30's and 40's -- after clearing up the hormone snag, it's just gotten better and better and I'm 50-something. There's a wonderful point when your kids leave home and you have the house to yourself again and wow...

I am 37 with a 3 year old. I used to be insatiable... but since the birth of my child I have little to no desire. I asked my OB/GYN and he said that there is not too much for women out there other than that pill you see advertised on the TV. I cannot think of what is it called. Anyway... I told him on my most recent visit that I got a bikini wax and for some reason... I was frisky as a result. Perhaps I felt naughty. Try a bikini wax!

Anon for obvious reasons... plus my mother could be reading this!

T.M.I.

I thought that Sexual Drive was a trip to Blockbuster to get a Romantic Movie.

I'm in my 30's and have found that I get that way now. For me, it has to do with having lots of stuff to do. I have a child, and he's in lots of activities, and there's the house to clean, dinner to cook, etc. I guess I feel like I'm not "allowed" to relax and enjoy myself unless I have all my work done. Some spells I go through are worse than others. My mate is 45, and still going strong. sometimes he gets frustrated at me. I told him it's not him, I am just not attracted to ANYONE that way. My focus is on getting things done. I had wondered if I had something wrong with me. I think as I've gotten older my focus has just shifted more into being a "SuperMom", than "Love Machine". LOL

Sounds like you and your husband need some time away - how about a long weekend in a nice hotel or cabin in the woods. You might find the spark that you think is gone.

By any chance are you using the Patch for birth control? I just stopped using the patch and discovered that for the past 18 months my virtual lack of interest was absolutely related to the Patch. I will never go back on it, I'll go back to the Pill instead.

I was sitting here today wanting to ask the same question, but didn't know if I should.

I'm in my 30's, have one child, have been married about 15 years to the most wonderful husband who I love very much. We went through fertility treatment and I think that is where I lost the desire. The mechanics of all the fertility treatments just sapped every ounce of desire from me. I want to try and have another child but don't see in vitro happening because of finances, so with time ticking away I thought we could try the old fashioned way. Unfortunately I just can't get the libido going and I just can't "play" without the desire.

Life is stressful of course now. Work is a nightmare (gotta love that BSA) and the house could look better but I want to spend quality time with my son and husband, not making my house spotless. Sometimes I will have the urge to "play" but it feels like something I can't quite hold onto. The littlest thing will make it disappear. Maybe my husband will burp or some other noise and it's just gone, the phone will ring anything that takes my mind away from the moment. Sometimes I think it will disappear also if he even tries to touch me.

What should I do? I don't get any pressure from my husband, but were to young to go the rest of our lives without touching each other. This kind of non touching also leads to less kissing. Even the good morning, and good night kind. Its like were best friends living together.

Even if know one out there can help, thanks for starting this topic. I have no one to talk with about this and need to get it off my chest. Therapy might help, however, I have no one to watch my son so I can go. I would need to go after work and that presents another issue as there aren't very many drs., etc. in our area in the evening.

Hey Jokerman, at least I have the ***** not to post anonymously!

My wife's drive has been quite cyclical for the past 20 years. I have found she always responds well to romance. For her, weekend getaways without the kids have always worked and this usually reignites the flame for a few months. Now if I can figure out a way to have getaways more often it would be great! We always do this on our anniversary instead of gifts and try to do once each summer as well.

If you want to know the truth I think my wife gets tired of me and my bad habits and it literally turns her off. When I travel I am focused on us and she appreciates that. Therefore, I believe this is more of a psychological issue rather than a physical issue. I think the neurons affect the chemistry.

Are you under a lot of stress? My wife doesn't have any desire when she is stressed. Unfortunately, that is often. But when her stress levels drop which I hope will happen with her new job her desire increases significantly. I have seen it several times over the last few years. Amazing how stress can kill the desire.

You just need to listen to the right music... Marvin Gaye I tell you! There's nothing quite like Sexual Healing to fix you right up!

Heck, I could clean the house, top to bottom, and bring home 12 dozen roses with an Al Green soundtrack playing in the background and I'd still have to beg for it and when I got it, it would be lousy. She just does not want it under any circumstances. However, occasionally, when she has a couple of drinks she gets in the mood. But it never happens when she has a couple of drinks while we are in a place where we could actually do something about it. So, I think she lets her guard down and allows herself to get worked up when she is relaxed by alcohol and by the fact that there is no possible way we could act on her feelings.

My girlfriend is 24, I'm 37.

No problems with drive here.