My teen (14) posted a not so nice message on Facebook about her parents. I think it's time to take access away, along with the computer and her iPhone. Anybody want to weigh in?

I certainly would take e-access away.

That's a personal choice. The kids dad and I disagreed strongly on it though.

He wanted to take all access away from our daughter the first time she posted something inappropriate.

I am more of the opinion that Facebook/Twitter is the world our children live in. Instead of taking it away, I feel it's my responsibility to teach them how to use it appropriately. I had all passwords as long as she lived under my roof and monitored her activity, including private messges on occasion. She was "grounded" from it at times, but would always have to correct the things I felt inappropriate. She deleted multiple posts and sent private messages with apologies. In my experience, you can not take access away. Sure you can take the phone and computer at your house, but they can get to it at school or the library or a friends house if they really want to.

Just my point. Good luck with it!

I have to agree with Jen. I have all my boys passwords and they are not allowed to block me or their dad from seeing their posts. My younger two have not gotten in trouble as of yet over anything but the oldest has lost his phone and pc over things he has posted. Normally it is a rant about his dad but I make him remove anything I don't find appropriate. He has gotten a lot better now that he is friends with his grandma on there!!!

My kids (all adult at this point) always knew that I had complete access to their accounts (same as Jen)phones computer email, whatever. If they posted something inappropraiate, they already knew I woulld punish them just as I would for any other infraction in life. "Inappropriate" can range from mean and hateful, bad language or even just giving out information they shouldn't. Correcting their behavior is my job and for their benefit. Not for my convenience.
I'm afraid that I dont believe in a child's right to privacy. It's not a right, it is a priveledge to be earned...or lost.

My 10 yr old tried to tell me he had a right to privacy when I was reading notes he left in his jeans pockets. I hadn't had that good of a laugh in a long time!!

Did you ask when was it posted in the federal register?

Kid wonder has been struggling with a couple of her classes this year so Facebook is not an option for her. She doens't know how to disengage from FB to work on homework. She set up a fake account - said she was 20 - and left it open for the whole world....... guys from all over the country were sending her pictures of their private parts. Not acceptable...

I told her she could set up a legitimate account once she brought her grades up and we would work on it this summer.

My kids have my passwords but they won't share theirs and won't friend me either!

They are older than most of the posters here so there isn't much I can do about it.

Are your kids tring to sell your car without your knowledge on facebook? I saw someone posting someting about a car in texas.

Short term grounding from such things, along with a teaching moment about what the problem is sounds appropriate.

You could always do what this guy did....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU&feature=youtu.be

I always find it funny when parents state they "have all the kids accounts, passwords etc". You don't parents, you don't. Trust me, they can have multiple email accounts, give you the tame ones. Same with facebook...they give you the generic one under their name, and open 4 more accounts under nicknames...

they're kids, being inappropriate is part of growing up. they need to make mistakes and learn from them...let them do that people, let them learn to problem solve

how very true.........

What is so hysterical about Kid Wonder, she will get my smart phone, pull up her fake fb account and then not signout. so when I go to look at my fb acct on the phone - hers comes up instead....... I will always catch her - sooner or later.

Agreed. Kids are kids and they will do stupid stuff. I have my son's passwords and routinely check his page and messages just to see if there is anything I need to address with him. For my step-daughters, I visit their pages regularly as a friend (I don't have their passwords) just to see if there is anything that should be brought up to mommy (who does not pay attention at all). Mostly I'm concerned about them posting too much personal info (one had their street address visible on their profile info and routinely accepts friend requests from strangers) or things that could come back to bite them later (one likes to take full body shots of herself standing in front of a mirror in her skimpy pjs and post them). Had to have several conversations about how those things are dangerous and or damaging to their reputations later on. Lately, they've cleaned up their act, except that the older one likes to dis people in her status updates almost to the point of cyber-bullying. Daddy will be having a discussion with her about not being a cyber-bully next weekend.....

oh Walden, if you only were devious...what she actually has is 2 fake accounts (if not more), the one she "really" uses, and the other one that she leaves for you to "find". You're all happy thinking you've busted her and she is contrite about "won't do it again Mom." You walk away happy, she walks away happy pulling another fast one on you.

(as a former devious child, possibly i should start a business to enlighten parents on how devious their little ones can really be)

uh oh...... Actually, she's just not that devious - not unless her personality has totally changed. She has never been able to get away with stuff for too long.

this reminds me of a former co-workers tennage son who was grounded from his phone, so he asked his mom if he could use her phone, and left all the sexting messages he sent and received from the girl on the phone...yeah, often times kids aren't too bright...

That is awesome!! Kids.

I wonder at what age they get common sense?

I think I was about 30.

my Dad would say older than that...talking about my siblings, of course...i was born with it...