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#1986676 - 01/06/15 09:19 PM Parent's Elder Abuse
Lake Side Offline
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 36
Hello - a bit of a quandary for me and wanted to get the thoughts of the couch.

Several months ago my dad (70) was talking about his credit card interest rates and didn't think he could retire so I offered to help. Short story - he had $80,000 in credit card debt! My parents really don't have anything so I was blown away. His mind has been slipping the last several years and he's not in good health. I started questioning some of the transactions on his bank statements and he said he was helping someone out.

My mom knew nothing about this and was furious. Turns out he was helping a female about 30 years old that works for a National assisted living company as a manager.

Mom confronted her last month and the lady indicated she knew it was wrong but that my dad never said no to her requests for $. She said she would pay back what she could. We did a review of dad's accounts and its at least $150,000.

We attempted to get back in touch with her recently and she is blowing us off.

Couple of thoughts are to get attorney but that cost us $ and she doesn't have anything and don't want this in the news. We may do this just as a bluff to get her to pay something just for the principle. Another is to go her employer just as an FYI and provide them with the documentation - I am sure an assisted living complex would want to know that one of their manager's has done this.

My dad has retired and his mind is really gone. He says she was just done on her luck on needed his help. I am a CAMS and see this as classic elder abuse.

Any other thoughts on this especially if she continues to avoid the situation??? This really stinks!

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#1986679 - 01/06/15 09:25 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
RR Joker Offline
10K Club
RR Joker
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 20,654
The Swamp
I would report it in a heartbeat and to the authorities and any Elder Abuse reporting system your State has set up...how many people has she preyed on, will she prey on, etc., before someone steps up to the plate and sends her packing?

We have a duty to protect our elders, whether they are related to us or not...this is your Dad (and mother by default) she took absolute advantage of. $150,000 is WAY FURTHER than 'down on her luck'. mad
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My opinion only. Not legal advice.

Say you'll haunt me - Stone Sour

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#1986686 - 01/06/15 09:30 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
Busy Bee, CRCM Offline
Diamond Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,089
PacificNW
I'm 100% in agreement with Joker. Report it to the authorities and the Elder Abuse reporting system in your state. She has to be stopped.

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#1986687 - 01/06/15 09:30 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse RR Joker
Lake Side Offline
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 36
Yeah - this is really bad given some of the items. Mom thinks she can some $ back but I don't think so.

Even so - I think the right thing is report to her employer and elder abuse department.

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#1986688 - 01/06/15 09:32 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
edAudit Offline
Power Poster
edAudit
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,796
You are here
contact everyone that will listen to you If you post the state that this happened with possibly someone here can point you in the direction of what agency to contact.
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Opinions can be considered as coming from anywhere but my employer.

CAMS


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#1986692 - 01/06/15 09:35 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
CompliantOkie Offline
Gold Star
CompliantOkie
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 425
OOOOOOklahoma
I agree with the other posters. Contact your state agency in charge of elder crime. They need to know and will probably investigate her and find other victims. Maybe you'll get some money back and maybe not but at least she won't victimize other families.

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#1986699 - 01/06/15 09:44 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
justsayjulie Offline
Gold Star
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 293
back home again
I'm on board with all the comments. I don't care if it'd make the news or not -- this woman is a predator and needs to be stopped.
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#1986705 - 01/06/15 09:56 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse justsayjulie
RR Sarah Offline
Power Poster
RR Sarah
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,505
Up North
This is just me but...I'd be going after her with both barrels.
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#1986709 - 01/06/15 10:04 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
edAudit Offline
Power Poster
edAudit
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,796
You are here
I would as well contact a competent attorney as she may have been using her position at the "National assisted living company"
_________________________
Opinions can be considered as coming from anywhere but my employer.

CAMS


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#1986711 - 01/06/15 10:03 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse RR Sarah
Lake Side Offline
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 36
Thanks for all the comments. No one in the family knows about this but me and mom and dad really not doing well. I know the right answer though. Thanks for all the feedback, this is really a hard thing.

There is a special place for these folks.....

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#1986721 - 01/06/15 10:23 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
QCL Offline
Power Poster
QCL
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,259
NW IL
And don't delay. You know where she is now. Contact the authorities while you still do.

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#1986738 - 01/06/15 11:12 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
HappyGilmore Offline
10K Club
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,844
Pulling people out of the ditc...
this isn't hard at all...notify the state authorities, notify the credit card companies, and if you are anywhere near a decent sized city, contact the local TV stations "action reporter" (or whatever fancy title they call them) and get them involved. They live for stuff like this.
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Providing alternative truths since the invention of time

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#1986805 - 01/07/15 02:49 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
gacompliancegirl Offline
100 Club
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 234
hanging on by a thread
I agree you should report her to as many people as you can - as quickly as possible. In Georgia, when you report Elder Abuse to the DHS the last thing they tell you when you get off the phone is that you should now contact the local law enforcement agency of jurisdiction. If that's not required where you are, you may still want to consider it.

And, remember one of the reasons that scams and abuse like this continue to increase is because people try to avoid publicity. Maybe coming out with your story publically will save other people down the line.
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#1986957 - 01/07/15 05:54 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
Rocky P Online
Power Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 7,650
Florida
If this occurred because of involvement and her (manager's) job, I would certainly get an attorney and law enforcement involved. The company should have some insurance (fidelity) coverage for the actions of their employees!

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#1987025 - 01/07/15 07:27 PM Re: Parent's Elder Abuse Lake Side
Truffle Royale Offline

10K Club
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,395
None of this is your fault or your parents.
None of you have done anything to be ashamed of.

Don't compound your father's unfortunate mistake by cutting the woman slack because 'she doesn't have anything'.

I don't think you should be the one going to her employer either. That's an attorney or law enforcement officer's job.

Contact your state's elder abuse authority. You can find it at the NCEA site.
They'll be able to help you decide if you need an attorney and will likely have recommendations for the best one to do the job too.

As emphasized above, don't wait! Do this today.
Good luck to all of you.

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