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#669159 - 01/19/07 10:03 PM People skills/COUCH
Anonymous
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Any idea how to tell your bank's senior vice president that she is being extremely rude? During a class she and I attended today, she was constantly making ugly comments about the teacher's points, the guest speaker's viewpoints, etc. I think the teacher noticed and so did our co-workers. This person is above me in the food chain, but I was very uncomfortable since her remarks were made directly to me, in a voice loud enough for others to hear. Anyone?

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#669260 - 01/20/07 03:24 PM Re: People skills/COUCH Anonymous
Anonymous
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I would have immediately (repeatedly if necessary) responded with a simple "I can't say that I share that viewpoint!" in an equally loud voice directly to her, with a look of surprise/shock at her ugly comments, when she said such things in a public forum. I would have then gone right back to taking notes, looking directly at the speaker, etc. It may not have made you this svp's favorite person, but it would have preserved your dignity & professionalism and made your point that you weren't going to partake in the Rudeness Festival, while your actions quietly reinforced the idea that you were there for the class only.

Depending upon the comfort level in your working relationship, you might consider simply going to her in private, now that this incident is in the past, and telling her that the remarks she made, loud enough for others to hear, made you feel uncomfortable. State this calmly and in as friendly a manner as possible. Open the dialogue honestly and unapologetically, and see how she reacts. Take a problem-solving approach, avoid directly accusing her of being rude (this will rarely, if ever, be well-received by anyone, let alone your career superiors), and approach it from your own standpoint. This is an experience you had which made you feel uncomfortable: how can it be avoided in future?

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#670274 - 01/23/07 04:59 PM Re: People skills/COUCH Anonymous
Anonymous
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Tough situation....

Honestly, there's probably nothing you can do at this point except maybe make a point to disconnect yourself from this individual at future meetings. If you don't give the appearance of being buddy buddy with her, everyone will forget about the one meeting.

Dignity is a hard thing to swallow, but creating something from it will cause you more stress in the days or weeks to come.

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#672189 - 01/25/07 05:24 PM Re: People skills/COUCH Anonymous
Anonymous
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I think you are both right. I chose an alternate seating arrangement at the next meeting, and am approaching the issue in another way - by pointing out yet another person's rudeness to the lady that was being so rude the other day. I think getting her to think about this 3rd person's actions will possibly make her reflect on her own actions, without me having to state anything, hurt feelings, affect my future, etc.

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#672274 - 01/25/07 05:50 PM Re: People skills/COUCH Anonymous
#Just Jay Offline
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