Movie Quotes

"I've often thought of becoming a golf club"

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you."

"Refund? Refund? Refund?"

"Funny? Funny how? Like a clown?"

"FRAGILE. Must be Italian."

"He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans!"

"Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here."

"It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."

"For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let's be co-people"

People in glass houses sink ships!

"You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."

"Do you ever get deja vu?"

"Didn't you just ask me that?"

"Hello, world. Here I come."

"I'm a god, I'm not the God."

"If you kill yourself, I'm gonna cut off your pigtail and then you'll never get to heaven."

"Be good to yourself...and...PARTY ON, DUDES!"

The truth? You can't handle the truth!

"This is a person named Eunice?!"

Top of the world, Ma!

[Answering the telephone]: "Hello?"

I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins!

'I'll bet you were something before electricity.'

"this is low grade dog food, you can still see the marks where the jockey was hitting it"

"Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice."

"I bet when you buy a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup"

"Does this suit make me look fat?"

"No, your face does."

"Did you touch my drum set?"

"No"

"Then why are you all sweaty?"

"I was watching COPS"

I don't think that means what you think it means"

"Hooray, hooray....a free durn meal. Thank you Little Todd."

::missing BOL music notes::

"I ate some bugs, I ate some grass,
I used my hand, to wipe my...tears."

Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.

"What's your favorite color?"

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

::like::

"I'm as mad as [censored], and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

"As of this moment they are on double secret probation."

Play it, Sam.

(as a side note, the Casablanca is going to be auctioned by Soothebays. Purchased 24 years ago for $150K, they expect it to bring $1,000,000)

"We're on a mission from God."

Bond. James Bond.

Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

This is my friend Mr. Wang, no offense.

How would you like to mow my lawn?

"No more yanky my wanky. Donger needs food."

"She just called me an old man!"

"Nice shot Marvin"

"Old man my [censored]"

"Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

"No. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people."

Eddie: [censored] was full!

Clark: Hey honey, checked our [censored]?

Hold me closer...closer...closer.

If I were any closer I'd be in back of you.

Wash your winkie.

My inner geek has to write this:

"Alright, I'll give it a try"

"No...try not...do, or do not...there is no try." ::searches for Yoda emoticon::

"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink? Why can't I be Mr. Orange?"

"I'm a very good driver."

(in honor of the upcoming auction)

All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people

"May the odds be ever in your favor!"

"Squeal like a pig"

"Right turn Clyde"

"Bring a pitcher of beer every five minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every seven minutes."

say eclesiastical

say what?

say snakebite

"Daddy always said, 'If you ever lose your talent, you can always sell sex.'"

"Go ahead and make my day! Punk!" sneer added

"________"

Its from a silent movie.

I think that one is from The Artist

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one."

"We don't have a cow. We have a bull."

"Kip, how come you get to stay home and eat all the chips!"

"Napoleon, you're just jealous. Besides, don't you know I'm training to be a cage fighter?"

Wouldnt that be "Le _______"?

Frank and Beans!

Daddy's gonna kill Ralphy!

"It's not a tuuuumah."

"Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death."

"I'll have what she's having."

"Itsa not a suit! Itsa a Fanucci!!"

"These two yuutz!"

"earmuffs"

"I'm gonna be like everybody else! I'm gonna make friends! I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna wear make-up, I'm gonna go out with boys, I'm gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs, and I'm gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!"

"You are frightened of the night?"

"Baloney!"

"You are frightened of baloney?"

"I'm telling you, its jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get khakis. And then we get the chicks."

Just when I think you couldn't be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

"Are you here for the feeding?"

"Therefore, you will... NARFTLE THE GARTHOK!"

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your *bleeping* khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing *bleep* of the world."

"A shrubbery!!"

Inconceivable!

"If there's anything I can't stand, it's a surly bartender!"

"I wouldn't say I've been *missing* work, Bob."

what's the soup de jour?

that's the soup of the day

mmmmm, that sounds delicious, I'll have that

"You should be running."

"So, you feeling lucky, punk!"

"Get to the helicopter!"

"Play it, Sam! If she can stand it I can."

Well what do you know, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants!

“Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else

There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures...and the Dutch.

"There's only two things that come out of Oklahoma..."

"Someone's gonna have to back and get a s&%tload of dimes."

"Mother wanted me to come out in a kimono, so we had quite a fight."

Only steers and queers come from Texas, private Cowboy! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down!

That's awesomely hilarious....what movie is that from?

"My grandmother took a bunsh of LSD and hijacked a school bus full of penguins, so it's kind of a bad time."

Gold Member?

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few - or the one.

Stantz: It was all going fine until----less here pulled the plug.

Mayor: Is that true?

Venkman: yes, Mr. Mayor, he has no ----

"I speak jive."

califgirl - I LOVE that line - and especially who said it.

Frankly My Dear I don't give a d*mn.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

"Get off my lawn!!"

Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

May I have 10,000 marbles please?

We need a bigger boat....

Eat your dinner Tina!

A yoot? What's a yoot?

You wanna talk to the manager? Here's the manager! (Robert DeNiro) -Analyze That

They're here . . .

Plastics!

What is your damage, Heather?

"Calvin? Wh... Why do you keep calling me Calvin?"

"Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear."

"Come to the dark side, we have cookies"

Luke, I am your father.

"Sharks with fricken laser beams"

"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?!"

"Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. Well in my book, my father died a much richer man than you'll ever be! "

You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa.

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries....

::like:: one of my favorite lines

Potter: I'm not interested in your book. I'm talkin' about the Building and Loan.

Bailey: I know very well what you're talking about. You're talking about something you can't get your fingers on, and it's galling you. That's what you're talking about, I know. Well...I've said too much. I -- You're...the Board here. You do what you want with this thing. There's just one thing more, though. This town needs this measly one-horse institution if only to have some place where people can come without crawling to Potter. Come on, Uncle Billy!

A hospital? What is it?

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

you sit on a throne of lies!

I have an army.

We have a Hulk.

Hulk Smash!!!

"That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry."

You make me want to be a better man.

"We trapped him with our helicopter."

That's information that would have been helpful to me YESTERDAY!

Heeeyyy you guuuyyys! ::in my best Sloth voice::

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, those who live without love."

Mmmmmmmmm...now this is a tasty burger. Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?

Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot f#@#in' master.

You complete me.

When I drink whiskey, I drink whiskey. And when I drink water, I drink water."

PUT. THAT. COFFEE. DOWN. Coffee is for closers.

SAY THE BLESSING!

Aunt Bethany, does your cat by chance like jello?

"You can milk anything with [censored]."
"Can you milk me, Greg?"

Eeeeeeeelliot.

STELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know that piece of metal I had in my head? I had to get it replaced with plastic. Everytime the misses fired up the microwave I pissed my pants and forgot who I was for a half hour or so.

A leak? You call what we got here a leak? Boy, last time we had a leak like this Noah built hisself a boat!

Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on.

That's not a knife.....THIS is a knife!

I coulda been a contenda

you know how to whistle, don't you?

1,500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow....

Dobby Free!

::punches alien::

Welcome to Earth.

Wax On....Wax Off

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUTTA MY MOUTH?

Stick to the things that you know. Shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich, drunk mother in the Carribean.

What we've got here is a failure to communicate.

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

Did you see anything?!?

No sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!

I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen

He got dissed in the Malibu, now he doesn't know what to do.

Lloyd lloyd all null and void

I looked in the trap Ray

I don't care if you talk. I'm going to torture you anyway.

When this baby hits 88 miles an hour, you're gonna see some serious $#@%.

"All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my BOOMSTICK!"

Lewis: You see, Randolph, I bet Billy Ray that I could not only corner the FCOJ market, but put you and Mortimer out of business at the samne time"

Billy Ray: Yep, and I lose (hands $1.00 to Lewis)

Randolph: You did this...for a dollar...

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one's for shooting, this ones for fun"

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

They may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!!

"The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. And the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking."

"I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over"

(No, Deek wasn't in this movie!)

"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup."

"She finks I'b cuuuuuuute!"

"Um, yeah. Lemme have, okay yeah, lemme have a Three Musketeers, and a ballpoint pen, one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flashlight batteries, and some beef jerky."

I speak "Whale."

Four days ago, you chased a bottle of aspirin with a bottle of vodka.

I had a headache.

Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."

"220, 221, whatever it takes."

"We're all amazed here, honey."

SHIIIIIRE. BAAAAAGGINS.

It's disturbing how easily a member of the press can pay for information from men in your precinct. I visited your home this morning, after you'd left. I tried to play husband. I tried to taste the life of a simple man. It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir...her pretty head.

We thought you was a Toad!

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Can you Blow me where the pampers is?!

Huh?

CAN YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE CAMPUS IS?!?!

Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a dam.

I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just a made-up word. A politician's word so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job.

We were doomed from the start. I was an earth sign and she was a water sign. Together we made mud.

I like you Betty

That's Danny sir

Danny

If someone asks you if you're a god Ray, you say YES!!!!!

Cuz we're in the spirit world, [censored]! They can't see us.

Be excellent to each other!

Tatanka.

Yippee ki yay, mother......!

She turned me into a newt.......I got better

Is your mommy home?

No sir, she's at the store buying Pampers for all us kids.

What do you want legs for anyway? You don't like to do nothing but sit on the porch and drink whiskey.

I like to kick a pig every once in a while. How would I do that?

I've got two guns; one for each of ya.

Well is there anything else? Are you sure you don't want me to haul you down to the South Pole and bury you down there? All you gotta do is ask.

AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!

"Here's all you need to know:

Classes, nothing before 11.

Beer is your best friend, drink a lot of it.

Girls, you're a freshman so it's pretty much out of the question.

Do you have a car? (No.) Someone in your hall will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day."

"...and stop calling me 'Shirley'"

We can't just let you walk out of here.

Who's we?

Smith, Wesson, and me.

Okay. I forgive you. But my Tommygun dont!

You was here, and you was smoochin' wit my brother!

You've been smoochin' wit everybody! Snuffy. Al. Leo. Little Moe, with the gimpy leg. Cheeks. Boney Bob. Cliff.

Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way! And that's how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?

BWHAHAHAHAHAA!

Hey, I did the same movie. Boy-O-Boy, we do think alike!

Pick me out a winner Bobby

We are the knights who say ni

We are now the knights who say icky icky icky icky kipang zoop boing

Shake and Bake

"I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life."

Them pills will kill you J.R.

Yeah, well, so will a car wreck.

"I'm going to have to start off by apologizing for my friend; he has a penchant for the dramatic."

I'm having difficulty controlling the VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

I may not be the smartest man Jenny...

Argo f%@# yourself.

Not that anyone could look good under these zombie lights. I, I, I, I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeball. Suck, suck, suck, SUCK...

"Run Away, Run Away!"

Red rum, red rum

"You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push."

FOOD FIGHT!

There's no crying in Baseball!

These are not the droids you are looking for.

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

"Every foot needs a big toe to provide balance, and Sgt. Hulka provides that for us. Say hello to our new friend and big toe - Sgt. Hulka"

"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar!"

Trouble go away at nigh', an' Nell caw Mi'i - an' Nell an' Mi'i - ye', Nell an' Mi'i - like t'ee in the way!

Dani - I LOVE that movie, although it's a little sad.

"I don't want to join your super-secret boy band."

What do you mean, "you people"?

What do YOU mean, "you people"?

I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

"Nice Beaver!"

"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."

This thread makes me want to watch all my favorite movies.......

When's the last time you had a good #&%*ing?

D@m the man! Save the Empire!

I'm guided by a force much greater than luck

Dude!

Sweet!

"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!"

"I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!"

Never bring Justin Bieber to a knife fight.

Not sure if it's from a movie or not, but it's rolling around in my empty head and sounds like good advice.

June Havens, you've got skills.

I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Do not. seek. the treasure!

Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble.

Choose wisely!

Snakes! Why did there have to be snakes!

I am Inego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Megan is reading a passage from the bible: "... and [censored] followed with him."

Catch ya on the flip side.

can I fill your eggnog, get you something to eat, drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

Pipe and a crepe? Flapjack and a cigarette?

in my best Scottish accent--"Get in my belly!"

You couldn't hear a dumptruck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

This one time... at band camp

Was that a [censored]?
I don't know.
I can taste it. On my tongue.
Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did [censored].
Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and ketchup.
It stinks. And this is a small room.
Okay. Now the tuxedos seem kind of #@@#@d up.

Are you saying Pam or Pan?

It's like 911 times a thousand!

You mean?

Yes, 911,000

“In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all,”

Sh************ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.......................................

Sh*ttin' bricks.

You shouldn't use that word.

Sorry. Sh*ttin' rocks.

I'm all jacked up on mountain dew!

You're my boy, Blue!

You're a smelly pirate hooker

Hide the rum!

"You shmell funny!"

Oh, I love the crepe suzette! I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. I'd eat my way out from the inside.

No, this is me in a nutshell. Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell? What sort of shell has a nut like this?

Meet me, in St.Louey, Louey, meet me at the fair.............

“I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?”

"Death? Or... exile?"

"Death."

"Death it is. Death... by exile."

You mean you would sully my reputation for $10?

Absolutely.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. And maybe, just maybe, it's in California.

You say it's 22 miles but it's not on this map. And you're really smart, so...

Pickin' up on your sarcasm.

I should hope so because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

I want the fairy tale.

I told you we needed snow chains.

As you wish.

It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Dean Wormer: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life".

[stares]

But, so many people seem to be doing it......

Great gallupin' hornie toads!!!

Waitress: Tanqueray and Tab.
Ernie McCracken: Keep 'em comin', sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?

"Now, you listen to me, Mr. Grand High Poobah of Upper Butt Crack"

I'll rip off your [censored] and shove them up your [censored] then when you [censored] you will be [censored] on your [censored]


that's from Team America: World Police

Gentlemen..... Hoist the colors.

Well......Let me tell you, Pilgrim.

Swimware - is that from Dolores Claiborne?

Yes

Round up all the usual suspects.

It's Hedley Lamar...Hedley Hedley Hedley...

I think it's cute

Rosebud.

Help!

"Soylent Green is PEOPLE!"

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!

"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?

Is your house on fire, Clark?

And, why is the carpet all wet, TODD???

I don't KNOW, Margo...

Hey Griswold, where are you going to put a tree that big?

Bend over and I'll show you.

You have alot of nerve talking to me like that.

I wasn't talking to you.

Do you have $17 and a nice watch?

No I don't. I have $2 and a Casio.

People without brains seem to do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

" I think I'm floating."

"Why would you be floating?"

"Maybe it's because of this cake I ate earlier."

That outfit is so fetch.

Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth... the critic.

Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen!

I'm going to drive around and leave them safely behind.

Time to burn some dust, eat my rubber!

Dad, it's burn some rubber, eat my dust.

Whatever Russ

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told...if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

"If you need a friend, get a dog."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"This is crazy, this crazy, this is crazy..."

I'm a mog; half man, half dog. I am my own best friend.

And the choice, ultimately, came down to eating the girl, or eating my dog. After all, it was an easy choice. The dog doesn't talk, and he is man's best friend...

It's good to be the King

Hakuna Matata!

"The most valuable commodity I know of is information. "

Just four words: "Good night, sweet girl." I'm easy, I know. But a guy who can muster up those four words is a guy I want to stay with.

So, you're as hard on yourself as you are on others.

Doc, I can climb a flight of stairs. Several times a night, as it turns out.

Try not to rate my answers.

Well, look who gets to be the girl.

They took everything, even the stuff we didn't steal.

Yes Miss Hannigan!

"....instead of kisses we get kicked. It's a hard knock life."

Doctor says I need a backiotomy!

"I'm a flibbertigibbit."

-How does that feel, baby?

-Mmmmm, lower.

-::speaks in a lower voice:: How does that feel, baby?

Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert, if not particularly good taste.

Hey, you want some meatloaf?

Ma, we want some meatloaf!!!

Hey Ma, Ma, where is the &*^%@#$ meatloaf? Ma!!!

That's right ZuZu! Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. That'a boy Clarence!

The only thing we serve around here is tongue! You boys like tongue?!?

"Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude."

Play it for me, Sam. Play "as time goes by" for me once again.

He acted like he was your kin Newt.

There's no place like home....tap, tap, tap....there's no place like home....tap, tap, tap.......there's no place like home..................

"Price check on prune juice Bob, Price check on prune juice"

I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious.

You shall not pass!

Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

"This pate is delicious, what's in it?"

"woof"

We are gathered here today to join these two in Holy....MOLEY!!!!!

What's the matter Colonel Sanders, chicken?

Many ages ago, when this ancient

planet was not quite so ancient...

...long before man

recorded his history...


...there was the time of Middle Earth

It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club

"You? I don't even know you on a personal level. But you sign my paychecks, and that's a good thing."

I want to look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, in bred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, [censored]less, hopeless, heartless, fat[censored], bug eyed, stiff legged, spotty lipped, worm headed sack of monkey [censored] he is!

hallelujah! holy [censored]!

where's the tylenol?

"All I want to do is go home and grow oranges!"

"Bother burgling and everything to do with it! I wish I was at home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing!"

Mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates.

-Are you okay?!?

-I'm just dandy..I've got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants.

-Um....we didn't have chocolate pudding in the refrigerator.

Has been my line of choice lately.

For PEEPS:

You gonna eat yo cone bread?

Where's my two dollars!!!!

"So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending!" said Bilbo, and he turned his back on his adventure. The Tookish part was getting very tired, and the Baggins was daily getting stronger. "I wish now only to be in my own armchair!"

Love that movie!

"C'mon dude, it's Christmas Eve. I could be at home drinking this killer egg nog my brother makes with lighter fluid."

I know! I love it!!

SciComply, I love your tag line.

Thanks!! I was perusing old forums and on page 534 of the forum list, there was a BOL Chat forum on taglines from 2004 and this was one of Andy Z's ideas.

Yo Adrian!

i havent seen this movie...


"Dude, Where's my car?!?!"

STELLLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!

They tell me you are a man with true grit.

Great movie!

LaBoeuf: You give out very little sugar with your pronouncements. While I sat there watchin' I gave some thought to stealin' a kiss... though you are very young, and sick... and unattractive to boot. But now I have a mind to give you five or six good licks with my belt.

Mattie Ross: One would be just as unpleasant as the other.

We'll go halfway today and the other half tomorrow since you're a less experienced hiker....and you're wearing Sunday-school shoes.

"Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!"

Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"Owen doesn't have any friends."

Here's looking at you, kid.

"You know how to whistle don't ya? You put your lips together and blow."

Mother always said you were greedy.

She meant it as a compliment.

"Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll; and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls."

No wire hangers!

How do you write women so well?

I think of a man....and take away reason and accountability.

()

Spider Pig! Spider Pig! Does whatever a spider pig does!

The fact is that pigs don't have a purpose, just like ducks don't have a purpose

I swear, I'm so #@ssed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

I'm not going to call him dad, ever! Not even if there's a fire!

Sorry your mom blew up, Ricky...

Don't try it Dewey, it's bad for you...

This Bumble bounces!

"I came here to drink myself to death."

I'm sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it's a little hard to come by.

I've been halved!

"As I was going up the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd go away"

HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?

Meatloaf, beatloaf, I hate meatloaf.....

Who wants more chowdah? (I know it is not a movie, but I just had to post it).

I'm glad you're here with me, Sam; here at the end of all things.

Christmas means carniege! christmas means carniege!

New York, New York, it's a toddlin' town. The Bronx is up and the Battery's down. New York, New York, it's a toddlin' town.

Save the neck for me Clark.

I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

!!!

Dutch: It's the .88 Magnum. They made it for him special.
Danny Vermin: It shoots through schools.

We'll have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny [censored] Kaye!

Randy lay there like a slug: It was his only defense. In our world you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims.

You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas

ize too late boss, ize too late...

I ain't birthin' no babies!

I ain't payin' no 50 cents for no Coke.

Then you ain't-a gettin' no Coke!

"How much for one rib?"

Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

"i'd like a Pepsi Free"

"if you want a Pepsi you're gonna pay for it"

"Fine, i'll have a Tab"

"You can't have a Tab if you don't order anything"

"okay, then give me something without caffiene"

pours water...

"You're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Shh! We're hiding. Everyone be quiet. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...

He shall be my squishy.

Just keep swimming.

I'll turn you from a rooster to a hen with 1 shot!

Okay, you. Check for poop.

"It took me 10 minutes to realize that FU [on the note] stood for Felix Unger"

The movie the Odd Couple - Jack Klugman to Tony Randall

I'm your huckleberry

Give me a liter of cola.

A what?

A liter of cola.

:into mic: Litercola. Do we sell Litercola?

I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

1.21 Jigawatts! GREAT SCOTT!!

That's heavy, Doc.

Weight has nothing to do with it!

Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull in the future?

..... remember this: true courage is about not knowing when to take a life, but when to spare one.

Yes, and isn't it wonderful?

MERRY CHRISTMAS you old building and loan...!

There’s great beauty on this world if you just have the eyes to see it

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Stop Uncle Fred, STOP!!!

Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?

Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

"You know Dewey, you never paid for any drugs...NOT ONCE!"

Evie: [about Varla] Coco, she came by and she was a peach.
Coco: Were you drunk?
Evie: It was 12 noon... of course I was drunk.

"Did somebody dial 91HOLY [censored]!"

fat guy in a little coat

Merv Griffin? You're the elevator strangler?

- I don't get it. First they steal the body but leave the clothes, then they take the clothes and bring the body back. Who would do a thing like that?

- Possibly some deranged dry cleaner.

That's my ball! Rodney King! Rodney King!

**********************

And choke him and choke him until an eye pops out! Er... You shouldn't wear fur.

**********************

Here, have some non-alcoholic eggnog.

**********************

Finally! Wherever have you been? Gee, I've been sweatin' like a dog in a Chinese restaurant waiting for you to show up! Well, it's showtime!

**********************

Put that cookie down. NOW!

Please go away let me sleep FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

-What are the chance of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together?

-Like one in a million.

-So you're saying there's a chance....

I am the law Happy, and the law is not mocked!

Don't say it's a fine morning or I'll shoot ya!

Some people swear there's no beauty left in the world, no magic. Then how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night to celebrate the hope of a new year?

How bout ya don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scottie don't.

"You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions."

"You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do. "

"Is it really wrong that I find the whole orphan thing pretty sexy?"

- "You lose...you owe me five dollars."

- "I said doll hairs."

"Good eveneing my friends! We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives!"
-Plan 9 From Outer Space

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

My car seems to have hit a water buffalo, can I borrow your towel?

There's a sucker born every minute.

I'm only doing this because I know I will feel so much better if I can say:

One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!

"If I told them once I told them a hundred times, 'Spinal Tap' THEN 'Puppet Show'."

THERE. IS. NO. COKE.

Customs official: Anything to declare?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

(said to a man eating a bat)

-Hey is that any good?

-Nah, needs garlic.

Johnny Tyler: Christ Almighty, it's like I'm sittin' here playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a-b****es.

Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.

b-a-n-a-n-a

Hoo-ray, hoo-ray....a free durned meal. Thank you Little Todd.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

No, no, no, no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo -
"Laugh while you can, Monkey-boy!"

"I'm gonna be like everybody else! I'm gonna make friends! I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna wear make-up, I'm gonna go out with boys, I'm gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs, and I'm gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!"

Randy: Hey Sandy, want some candy?

Sandy: Some candy'd be dandy.

Randy: Hey Candy, want some candy?

Candy: No candy for me, Randy.

Andy Jackson: Aw, come on, Candy, have some candy.

Candy: I said no candy, Andy.

Andy Jackson: Okay, Candy. I'll have some candy, Randy.

Randy: Okay, Randy. I'll give you Candy's candy.

Andy Jackson: Can I also have Mandy's candy?

Sandy: No, Randy! Don't give Andy Mandy's candy! Give him the candy that's handy!

Randy: All right, Sandy. So, Andy, what's your favorite candy?

Andy Jackson: Mints.

That outfit is so fetch.

"The End"

He expects us to honour our agreement.

Nothing personal, Jack. It's just good business.

Remember that time when the crowd was chanting my name and I summoned my strength to rip my blouse?

I thought it would be Clemenza.

No. It's the smart move. Tessio was always smarter.

Do you ever get de ja vu?

Didn't you just ask me that?

I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling.

Will some one get this walking carpet out of my way

You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.

You stay classy, San Diego.

Don' worry senor! I will wash yor payammas!

Farm boy, fetch me that pitcher.

Get some sleep, Pam. You look tired.

As you wish.....

Am I going MAD, or did the word “think” escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Let me explain. No, there is no time. Lemmie sum up.

I think it's my all time favorite movie.

Have fun storming the castle!

One of my top ones for sure!

"Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

"No. I am your father."

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

Inconceivable!

My name is Inigo Montoya!

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

I donnot tink it means what you tink it means.....

Is this a kissing book?

Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

If there are, we all be dead.

No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Anybody want a peanut?

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

LOVE that movie, Backstreets.

'How would you like to mow my lawn?'

Nice to meet you mole.

We're kinda like 7-eleven. We're not always doing business but we're always open.

I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

A looper?

A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

"This may smell bad, kid, but it'll keep you warm until I get the shelter up…Ugh. And I thought they smelled bad on the outside."

This your place, Carl?

Yeah, whatta ya think?

It's really... awful.

Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know... credit trouble

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

I've sent boys younger than you to the electric chair. Didn't want to do it, felt like I owed it to them.

You all are just cracking me up.

'Would you loofa my stretchmarks?'

Spalding, NOOO!

You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

You'll get nothing and like it!

PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN! Coffee's for closers...

It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in,
And you've got the stock market beat;
But the man worthwile
Is the man who can smile
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

{laughs}

Spalding, get your foot off the boat!!

Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice.

Hey, where did that shot go?

Right in the lumberyard, Danny.

Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

Well, the world needs ditch diggers too!

Aw, that's a peach, Hon!

Golly, I'm hot today.

"Ah man, I'm sick of this stick."

::Wesley Snipes movie on TV badly overdubbed-to-eliminate-swear-words::

(Another all-time awful dub, from A Soldier's Story)

"I'm gonna whup your black southern eyes."

Wheee!

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. Hedley Lamarr

Badges? We aint' got no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

Flower!

Me?

That`s not a flower! He`s a little-

Oh, that`s all right. He can call me a flower if he wants to; I don`t mind.

Purty. Purty flower!

It's farging war!!!

What's a Yute?

Oh ya, He's a big fella.

Stooges episode, not a movie quote per se...

An unconscious Curly lies on the floor.
Moe: Quick. Kid, tell me your name so I can tell your mother.
Curly: My mother knows my name.

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

You want to know the difference between us and machines? We bury our dead. But no one is coming to bury you.

Get in my belly!

I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!

I saw it in the window and just had to have it - Carol Burnett in her Gone with the Wind Spoof "Went with the Wind"

Okie - that is my favorite Carol Burnett skit. The best part was the curtain rod on her shoulders.

He's the only one who knows where Connie is. If he doesn't tell me, I'll shove that collar so far down his throat I'll have to take off his shoes to wring his neck!

Mine too. I don't know why that one just popped into my head today. It did and I had to post it.

I'm beginning to think we are sisters from different parents!

It's possible. I just might have to come to Oklahoma some time to see if we look alike. Ha!

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light!!!!!!!!!!!

David: How are those maggots?

Michael Emerson: Huh?

David: Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

Cool! I do have the larger version of your avatar. My Aussie is an older girl now - probably around 11-12.

Actually my little guy doesn't look like this any more - he's 13 months old and HUGE for sheltie - 40 pounds. He still has too much puppy in him, though.

OK - back to movie quotes now . . .

There's always a choice.

Supercallafragilisticexpialladocious!!

Step in time!

Let's go fly a kite....

Not a quote - but the next movie on my Netflix list is "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" thought it was time to expose Kid Wonder to the classics! Already exposed her to Monty Python!

"Run Away! "Run Away!"

I love the scene in Mary Poppins when the cannons are going off and they are just going about their day as all their furniture slides around...

Okay, princess. That's it. The fairy tale is over. Welcome to real life! - Spaceballs

My own brother a blood sucking vampire, you just wait till mom finds out!

Lost Boys?

Who's brain did you take?

Abby somebody. Abby...Normal.

Damn your eyes!
Too late!

"Nobody move, I've dropped my brain!" Captain Jack Sparrow

-We got you a plethora of pinatas!
-Do you even know what plethora means, Hefe?

Ah yes, the Invisible Swordsman, The Singing Bush.....

"Oh great! You've shot the Invisible Swordsman!"

As of this moment they are on double secret probation.

Hurry up, meow.

-It says the Infamous El Guapo.
-Yes, In-Famous as in more than famous.

-I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
-The lips would be fine.

sew like the wind!

I'll have a beer.
Would you like it in the can?
No, I'll drink it here.

Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!

Natasha: He killed eighty people in two days.

Thor: He's adopted.

Mission Control: Buckaroo, The White House wants to know is everything ok with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?

Buckaroo Banzai: Tell him yes on one and no on two.

Mission Control: Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?

Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

There are strange happenings afoot at the Circle K.

Your mother was a hampster!

Now go away before I taunt you a second time!

I just want to be upfront and say I visually enjoy you.

Go put on the suit.

OMG I can totally hear John Cleese saying that!

Okie - is that from Identity Thief?

Kid: do I have to wash my hands before I play this game?

Ted: yeah, no, what, what a dumb [censored] question

Was it all over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!?!?!

Yes it is, Sister. We just watched it for the first time over the weekend and loved it!

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Let them know men did this.

The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 9.9 meters per second or 36km per hour. It would take 100 swallows to carry a 1 pound coconut. - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/what-is-t...h.kKOBkFvC.dpuf

Which do you mean, an African swallow or a European swallow?

I dont know that! YEEAHHHHHHHHH!

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Dee del dee dee
There they are a'standing in a row
Bump Bump Bump

I'm impossible to forget, but hard to remember.

Count de Monet: It is said that the people are revolting.

King Louis XVI: You said it! They stink on ice!

"More human than human" is our motto.

not mine

It's good to be the King!

I just can't wait to be king.

I think it's time to say "Goodbye" to Prince A-boo-boo.

And then this one time at banker's camp..... no wait that was not right.

"I'm gonna have fun. You're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fun, we'll be whistling zippity doo da!"

What kind of town is it when a bat steals all my press.

"You put a mouse on that stage and your saloon's gonna be as empty as Death Valley on a cold day in June when the snow don't fall."

A random one, for sure.

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

The dude abides.

Manure....I HATE MANURE!!

We're family. We're gonna be doing lots of stupid stuff together.

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."

Parole Board member: Repeat offender!

Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?

H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.

Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?

H.I.: No, sir, no way.

Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.

H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?

H.I.: Yes, sir.

Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

"I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?"

"Monet."

"Right, and then Manet had syphilis."

"They also painted occasionally."

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had my little "accident".

I am the super mother bug!
I am the super mother bug!

I'm not a fat panda!
I'm THE fat panda!

King - The combination is 1......2.......3.......4......5.

Dark Helmet - 1,2,3,4,5?!? What kind of an idiot would have that has his combination?

President Scroob - That's the combination to my luggage!

"What we have here, is a failure to communicate."

Toto...I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

I don't want your life.

follow the goldenrod road?

That was the worst lunch ever.

The worse. What kind of place makes you cook your own food?

Let's never go back there again.

I am Jack Harper, and I am home.

No, To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

There's no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth... You can be damned sure we'll avenge it.

Puny god!

There is only one return, and it's of the Jedi not the King.

Sorry folks, park's closed. The moose out front should have told ya.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...ugh

One of my all time favorites!

"Tina you fat lard , come get your dinner"

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a Dodd"
Compliance in the Wind

What's farger?

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Venkman - You're not going to lose the house. Everyone has three mortgages these days!

Stantz - But at 19% interest?

"Is that your car in our bushes?"

"No... uh, this is a friend of mine's, he just... went to go get you a tighter shirt."

"There isn't a tighter shirt. We checked."

" Hiya, Norm."
" How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricasse? "

Saw Gone With The Wind last night while flipping....

Rhett - You should be kissed, often. And by someone who knows what they are doing.....

That reminds me of a quote from my favorite book series. But I'll refrain since this is the Movie Quote thread.

How you doin'

Compliance with the rules of staying on-topic in a BOL thread has no place in the cooler.

But to bring my post back into compliance:

"What a tool."

"What's that, son?"

"It's a shame that one bad apple has to spoil it for everybody by not following the rules."

"Stuff a sock in it, boy."

Fine GD, I'll be a rebel:

"One day you may kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find breath is of little consequence."


SWWWOOOOOOOOOOOONN.

oh bruther!

Or as it was so elequently said in another tale... "Pucker up Pickle Puss!"
Same thing...right?

Along those lines,

"You been smooching with my brother...little Moe with the gimpy leg..."

Which reminds me of a fine song: "Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cuz I'm Kissin' You Goodbye".

Punctuation is imprtant!!
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cuz, I'm Kissing You Goodby!"
From country to backcountry with the move of an apostraphe!

None of those other ones make me swoon.

LOL...good one. (And yes, an actual song. I know cuz i'm humming it in my mind right now.)

Fixed

Ray Stevens at his best!

Yeah...that's who that was....i'd forgotten.

Ray Stevens


Who?????????

Country(ish) singer known for his silly songs mostly. 70s-80s guy...so....before your time. His best song was his non-silly one....Misty.

He sang silly songs?

Sometimes.

"Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cuz I'm Kissin' You Goodbye" doesn't sound silly?

I'm thinking of the kids book and cassette tape We Sing Silly Songs.

The Streak!? Ahab the Arab!? And the classic Gitarzan!?

And I thought you was refined and educated!

Someone get this poor child to Branson....stat!!

How can you not know him? he has won the

1995: Country Weekly Golden Pick Award "Best Comedian" award

Grammy Awards[edit source | editbeta]

Stevens has 11 Grammy nominations and won two Grammy Awards: one for "Everything Is Beautiful" and one for the arrangement of his country and western version of the jazz standard "Misty" (1975). Stevens was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1980 as well as the Georgia Music Hall of Fame.
Other awards and accomplishments[edit source | editbeta]

1969: Gold Single — "Gitarzan"
1970: Gold Single — "Everything Is Beautiful"
1970: Grammy — "Everything Is Beautiful" (Best Male Pop Vocal Performance)
1974: Gold Single — "The Streak"
1975: Grammy — "Misty" (Best Arrangement of the Year)
1980: Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame
1980: Georgia Music Hall of Fame
1984: Gold Album — "He Thinks He's Ray Stevens"
1985: Gold Album — "I Have Returned"
1986: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1986: No. 1 Country Album Plaque from Billboard — "I Have Returned" (week ending March 15, 1986)
1987: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1987: Platinum Album — "Greatest Hits"
1987: Gold Album — "Greatest Hits, Volume Two"
1988: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1989: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1990: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1990: Gold Album — "All-Time Greatest Comic Hits"
1991: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1992: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1992: No. 1 Home Video Plaque from Billboard — "Comedy Video Classics"
1992: Ten Times-Platinum Home Video — "Comedy Video Classics"
1993: Billboard Home Video of the Year
1993: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1993: Platinum Home Video — "Ray Stevens Live!"
1994: Music City News Comedian of the Year
1995: Platinum Home Video — "Get Serious!"
1995: Country Weekly Golden Pick Award "Best Comedian"
2001: Atlanta Country Music Hall of Fame
2002: Gold Single — "Osama Yo' Mama"
2009: Christian Music Hall of Fame

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Stevens

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.

Audrey: So, everybody does that.

Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

English Dude: Put them in the Iron Maiden.

Bill & Ted: Awesome!

English Dude: Execute them.

Bill & Ted: Bogus!

"Well, this has been real educational, but I don't believe in the devil."

"You should. He believes in you."

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"

"When I get home, I'm gon' pop yo momma in the mouth. There is no way you came from my loins."

Love Ray Stevens..I even have him on my ipod. Some of his funniest songs...Shriners Convention, The Mississippi Squirrel Revival, The Streak, and many more...

V.I.N.CENT: A wolf remains a wolf, even if it has not eaten your sheep. >;)

Becky McClintock - Mama's often so, well, petulant.

George W. McClintock - Petulant? You've learned a lot of words back East, Becky. I wished they'd have taught some meanings.

Cousin Vickie: "I'm going steady, and I French kiss."

Audrey Griswold: "So. Everybody does that."

Cousin Vickie: "Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best."

Sci_ Complay, I love that movie.


GEORGE WASHINGTON MCLINTOCK
I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The *[censored]* I won't! [belts Jones in the mouth]

::LIKE::

Premium Fantasy woman: Mr. Kazu sent me, premium fantasy. My stockings. Rip them.

[sounds like "lip them"]

Premium Fantasy woman: Rip my stockings. Yes, please, rip them.

Bob: What?

Premium Fantasy woman: Rip them. HEY! Rip my stocking!

Bob: Hey? Lip them? Lip them? What?

The Streak - best song lyrics EVER. I mean, talk about your poetry:

Yeah, I did. I's standin' over there by the tomaters, and here he come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables, nekkid as a jay bird. And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed.

Oh, Mr. Bob Harris! Don't touch me, Mr. Bob Harris!

For relaxing times, make it . . . Suntory time.

Air Boss Johnson: Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!

[storm out, then bumps into a Yeoman and spills coffee all over his pants]

Air Boss Johnson: DAN! That's TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTS!

I may throw up on you.

"Blah blah terrible something or other..."

--Ben Affleck as Batman

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking.. just a moment.

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking.. just a moment.


Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking.. just a moment.





Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking.. just a moment.

It's remarkable how many movies i haven't seen. (Not a quote, just an observation.)

Abomination!

"It's *death* therapy, Bob!"

Frank James: You ever been in love?

Clell Miller: Oh God, yes. It was terrible. An affliction. Really miserable. Nothing but trouble. Drove me crazy.

Frank James: That bad? Really?

Clell Miller: Yes. She was wonderful.

Det. Frank Drebin -
I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?

Doc: “Marty, you're not thinking fourth dimensionally.”
Marty: "Yeah, right, I have a real problem with that."

The pen is bluuuuueeeee!!

To the pain!

Why build one when you can build two for twice the price!

I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.

We have weak trees.

Where's Arnie? Have you seen Arnie anywhere?

I'm not here for that, but I will take a piece of him.

Then a piece you shall have.

Why, Johnny Ringo! You look like somebody just walked over your grave.

Gingerbread Man: Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-- Who lives down Drury Lane?

That brings back memories. My dad and his friends had a drinking game based on a parody of that song.

Sgt Angel: your Dad is being judge, jury and executioner

Danny: my Dad is not Judge Judy and executioner!

If he in there... He ain't happy!

I believe you have my stapler

Fortunately the bullets didn't hit any vital organs, he's in the intensive care unit at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle

I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary.

"ACK ACK! ACK AACK ACK!"

-from Mars Attacks!

WEE WEESE THE SEEKWET WEAPON!

(From An American Tale )

My bidnit is killen, and bidnit is goood!!

Jumbo spiders, some as big as dwarves!

You’re wasting it!!! You’re Wasting it!!

(From the movie grown ups)

Thor - You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Iron Man - Shakespeare in the park? Doth Mother know you weareth her drapes?