Awkward Penguins

Posted By: ComplianceDude

Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:13 PM

Alt thread title: The most awkward thing I've personally done lately is...
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:13 PM

I'll go first: I went to shake hands with a male friend who is younger than me. He twisted his hand sideways to perform some sort of street greeting. I ended up shaking his thumb and we were both like "Ugh."
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:13 PM

My wife asked where something was on the menu (she does this pretty much every time). I reached across the table and turned her page for her. This time, the corner of the menu grazed her, raking across the inside of her open mouth. She reacted as though a vagabond had just thrown half a warm beer into her face. I seriously thought she was going to have to leave.
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:16 PM

A diminutive female friend went to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek hello, and I accidentally planted a kiss right on her ear canal.

Yeah, this might get redundant with Quirks, I'm thinking. Not all quirks are awkward, though. Skittle eating is a private matter. This thread is for things you do or have done that made people think "What is the MATTER with this person?"
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:17 PM

I just shed a bunch of shreds of paper out of my sleeve onto the floor of a coworkers office. We have no idea where the paper came from or how I became the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

#Awkward
Posted By: raitchjay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:18 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
This thread is for things you do or have done that made people think "What is the MATTER with this person?"


Um...i took 43 putts to finish my last round of golf?
Posted By: RR Jen

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:24 PM

At a steakhouse last week with the son and a friend. I ordered a margarita...it went like this:

Waitress: would you like it frozen or on the rocks?
Jen: frozen
Waitress: would you like lime or flavored?
Jen: Yes!
Waitress: lime or flavored?
Jen: Uh huh
>>insert waitress, son and friend looking at me like "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?<<
Waitress: I'm sorry, you're confusing me. Which do you want?
Jen: I'm sorry? What?
Friend: do you want a lime margarita or a flavored margarita?
Jen: (insanely embarrassed and blushing) Oh my goodness I am so sorry I thought you were saying "lime flavored"...lime please.
>>insert waitress walking away shaking her head<<
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:26 PM

I am now confused when did lime cease to be a flavor?
Posted By: RR Jen

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:26 PM

EXACTLY! Why didn't she say "would you like lime, peach, or mango?"
Posted By: Bobby Boucher

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/13/14 09:29 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
This thread is for things you do or have done that made people think "What is the MATTER with this person?"

I thought that was the motive behind all your posts in the Quirks thread. confused

I kid, I kid! CYM, I think you may be my new favorite poster. You are certainly my favorite new poster. smile
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 11:43 AM

I was shopping with my son and walked into the huge plate glass window at the exit, which I thought was the exit, but it was apparently not. crazy laugh
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 11:52 AM

Sounds about right
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 12:26 PM

:
Originally Posted By: DeeQ
I was shopping with my son and walked into the huge plate glass window at the exit, which I thought was the exit, but it was apparently not. crazy laugh



laugh Good thing you had a designated driver with you whistle
Posted By: Bankster

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 12:41 PM

Last weekend, A friend of my wife's, who we haven't seen in a long time, and who is much shorter than me, wanted to greet me with a hug. As she came in, I stepped on her foot, and my shoulder bone caught her on the bridge of her nose. There was sort of an awkward silence. Good times!
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 12:48 PM

Originally Posted By: RR Jen
EXACTLY! Why didn't she say "would you like lime, peach, or mango?"


the real question is why didn't you just say "bring them all!"
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 01:21 PM

This wasn't recent, but when my wife and I got together with some college friends a few years out of school. They had just had their second child and so we were visiting them.

We were all sitting around talking having a good time and some how the one said to my wife and I, "You are just a couple happy DINKs".

Having not heard the term I asked, what does that stand for, and the wife said, "Double Income No Kids".

So, me in my ability to think quick said, "Well you are Double Income Children Keepers, that makes you a couple DI_ _ s". There was a moment of silence, then realizing what I had said, we all bust out laughing.

To this day, it comes up everytime we get together.
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 01:38 PM

DD, that is brilliant.
Posted By: Carolina Blue

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 02:26 PM

I promise it was not me, but here is the conversation from a co-worker the other day:
Loan Officer: I hate to be a thorn in your side on this issue.
Co-worker: Compared to all the thorns I deal with you're just a little pri_k.

She had no idea what she said until everyone stared at her. then the loan officer started laughing and everyone cracked up.
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 02:45 PM

Last Friday, I met some friends for happy hour after work. I was wearing my chrome casette tape belt buckle, which is rather shiny. I also failed to pull up my zipper. So I brought attention to the fact my fly was down. Party fail. Or win. Depending on who noticed.
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 02:49 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
Last Friday, I met some friends for happy hour after work. I was wearing my chrome casette tape belt buckle, which is rather shiny. I also failed to pull up my zipper. So I brought attention to the fact my fly was down. Party fail. Or win. Depending on who noticed.


At least it wasn't an 8track casette belt buckle laugh
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 02:55 PM

Or a floppy disk belt buckle...
Posted By: Wolfy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 03:05 PM

The dryer softener sheet fell out of my cloths onto the floor in the office. At least it looked like the type we use at our house. I did not see it fall off my cloths but I am guessing it did.
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 03:08 PM

Originally Posted By: MB Guy
Or a floppy disk belt buckle...


3.5 or 5?
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 03:37 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
Last Friday, I met some friends for happy hour after work. I was wearing my chrome casette tape belt buckle, which is rather shiny. I also failed to pull up my zipper. So I brought attention to the fact my fly was down. Party fail. Or win. Depending on who noticed.


oh man...do you have the faux cowhide belt to match, with BACONBOY stenciled/burned on the back?
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:03 PM

No, I don't do fake. I do have a flask buckle, a gun lighter buckle, one that conceals a pocket knife, one that spins and has Magic 8 Ball sayings on it, a couple of bottle opener buckles...
Posted By: Miscuit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:08 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
one that spins and has Magic 8 Ball sayings on it


this one sounds like it could be a lot of fun!
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:19 PM

wait, you have all these unique buckles, and you didn't post that in the Quirks thread? shocked

Makes notation on spreadsheet...
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:25 PM

Yes, Miscuit. Especially since it always lands on "Ask Again" when I'm standing up. blush

My buckle collection isn't a Quirk, it's a form of expression. smile
Posted By: Chela

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:29 PM

Kind of like Howard on TBBT. I liked the episode where Howard had Sheldon polish all his buckles. laugh
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 04:37 PM

Was walking and twittering yesterday and while I was watching my steps, I wasn't watching anything above that. Walked face-first right into a low-hanging tree branch.
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:02 PM

"Low hanging" is defined differetnly for each of us.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:12 PM

You know how tall I am, B! This was like a road hazard it was so low. laugh
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:16 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
a couple of bottle opener buckles...


this could be awkward
Posted By: Miscuit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:18 PM

not in my world!
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:19 PM

is afraid of ^^^^^ her world
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:46 PM

Originally Posted By: Miscuit
not in my world!


Nor mine.
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 05:58 PM

The medal I won last weekend has a bottle opener built into it!
Functional race bling!!
And not as awkward as a buckle! grin
Posted By: NE Wx Forecast - Frosty

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 09:21 PM

OK, this one is about how I saved a guy from embarrassment at church. Younger single guy comes strolling in on the side isle at church to seat himself, about half way to the front. But he's got a long white sock hanging from his belt area that somehow was not seen as he put on his pants. Being a guy who had to save another guy, I went up and asked him to lean forward, and then pulled it out and handed it to him. He turned beet red, but said thanks. I don't think anybody saw it.
Posted By: BurntSienna

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/14/14 10:01 PM

I once attended an early morning meeting. Halfway through, I realized something felt odd inside the left sleeve of my blouse. I slipped two fingers inside the cuff and up and encountered a dryer sheet stuck halfway between wrist and elbow. When everyone looked away, I yanked it out and crumpled it up inside my fist to hide it - and kept my hand that way for the remainder of the meeting until I could toss it in a trash can. I don't think anyone saw it, but I'm not sure. Embarrassing!
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 07:53 PM

Just went to take a sip of water from a tall glass (water bottle, really) that only had a little bit left. Tilted too severely and I got a free afternoon face wash at my desk.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 07:55 PM

Annnnnnnnnnd just tipped the rest over onto my desk.

Sigh.
Posted By: raitchjay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 07:58 PM

::re-fills mani's cup::

::waits for ensuing hilarity::
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:04 PM

I love this thread.
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:05 PM

:Pondering: just how tall this glass of water is that it is impossible to drink from ... or how short is mani. laugh
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:06 PM

::hands Mani a sippy cup from pack of two originally meant for AG::
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:14 PM

I am completely and totally an awkward penguin. I could fill this thread for days. CYM, you and I are kindred spirits here.
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:27 PM

Just now came back in the office from embarrassing myself by enthusiastically waiving and speaking to a female friend in the bank's lobby only to find, upon peering over my reading glasses, that it was a woman I didn't know.
Posted By: MyBrainHurts

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:44 PM

I was at an event with a large number of bankers last week when I saw a guy across the room that I used to work with. We had been good friends, and I hadn't seen him in a while, so I walked towards him rapidly, with outstretched hand and a big smile, until I got within six feet and realized it wasn't him. I wasn't sure he saw that I was headed towards him, so I just kept walking by.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:49 PM

I'm so bad at remembering people. At the last conference I attended a very nice gentleman came over and addressed me by name and knew where I worked and was asking me how things were going, etc. I had no idea how I knew him. I just nodded and smiled and asked as many general questions as I could hoping he wouldn't be able to tell. eek
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 08:49 PM

That was you? laugh
Posted By: QCL

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:05 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
I'm so bad at remembering people. At the last conference I attended a very nice gentleman came over and addressed me by name and knew where I worked and was asking me how things were going, etc. I had no idea how I knew him. I just nodded and smiled and asked as many general questions as I could hoping he wouldn't be able to tell. eek


Did you really know who I was at the last conference we went to wink smile laugh
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:09 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
I'm so bad at remembering people. At the last conference I attended a very nice gentleman came over and addressed me by name and knew where I worked and was asking me how things were going, etc. I had no idea how I knew him. I just nodded and smiled and asked as many general questions as I could hoping he wouldn't be able to tell. eek


i think that was your husband...
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:10 PM

HA!
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:11 PM

No, I knew who you were, QCL. smile
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:16 PM

QCL is you husband?

Now I am more confused. laugh
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:22 PM

You are always confused.
Posted By: Sci_Comply

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:30 PM

At the second meeting with my birth family after I found them, we were discussing family history, aunts, uncles, etc. My parents told me a sad story about how one of my aunts (that I'd never met) died after getting hit by a car after crossing the road getting her mail. I couldn't help myself by blurting out, "Maybe she was trying to get to the "other side"!"

Luckily for me, we all have the same sense of humor and they were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes!
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/15/14 09:32 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
You are always confused.


try to validate this financial model any you will be confused as well
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:09 PM

Hotel Clerk: Here are your room keys, please let us know if you need anything. We hope you enjoy your stay!

Me: You too.
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:18 PM

Leaving the store this morning, I noted this Awkward Penguin behavior in myself:

Push exit door with right shoulder. It doesn’t budge. Push again. Look at door in consternation. Door is locked. Switch to other door and push with left shoulder, finally, exit.

P.S. Two decrepit old ladies, wraparound sunglasses, approaching storefront. Don't want to touch door with skin. Pretend not to see old ladies.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:22 PM

The fact that I managed to carry a 40-lb bag of dog food and two bags of canned food (a dozen cans) from the register inside the pet store to my car without dropping anything or face planting today was nothing short of a miracle.
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:38 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
Hotel Clerk: Here are your room keys, please let us know if you need anything. We hope you enjoy your stay!

Me: You too.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who has done this. laugh
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:44 PM

that happens to me all the time

at restaurant - waitress "enjoy your meal" me - "you too"

or boarding a flight and they scan my ticket

attendant - "enjoy your flight" me - "you too"

it's when they veer from the expected "have a nice day" that I freeze up
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:57 PM

"Your zipper is down"
"You too"
blush
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 07:58 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
The fact that I managed to carry a 40-lb bag of dog food and two bags of canned food (a dozen cans) from the register inside the pet store to my car without dropping anything or face planting today was nothing short of a miracle.

Once you've run a 10K, all things are possible!! wink
grin
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/18/14 10:45 PM

Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
Originally Posted By: manimal
The fact that I managed to carry a 40-lb bag of dog food and two bags of canned food (a dozen cans) from the register inside the pet store to my car without dropping anything or face planting today was nothing short of a miracle.

Once you've run a 10K, all things are possible!! wink
grin


Well, all things except locating a shopping cart. whistle laugh
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 11:36 AM

I left a voicemail for myself, and said "Thanks!" at the end of it... crazy
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 01:49 PM

Originally Posted By: DeeQ
I left a voicemail for myself, and said "Thanks!" at the end of it... crazy

Hmmmmmm maybe being awkward with oneself is the penultimate awkwardness? I too leave myself reminder voicemails a few times a week, sometimes while very sleepy, but often closing with the uplifting signature, "Good luck dude! You're awesome!"
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 01:51 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
often closing with the uplifting signature, "Good luck dude! You're awesome!"


are you Truman?
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 02:00 PM

Originally Posted By: Peepers
Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
often closing with the uplifting signature, "Good luck dude! You're awesome!"

are you Truman?

I don't get it. Was that in that movie maybe? Maybe that's where I got it...and then forgot where I got it.
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 02:04 PM

his thing in the movie was something like

good morning! and if I don't see you, good afternoon and good night!

it was very chipper
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:06 PM

One of my finer moments was then I ended a call with a coworker with "love you, bye." laugh
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:13 PM

laugh @ Monk

I've got a whistly nose today.
Posted By: Hoosierland

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:14 PM

Last week, I sent an email to my husband asking him to stop at the store and pick up a few things on the way home.

At least I thought I sent it to my husband. In reality, I sent it to a coworker. Oops!
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:18 PM

On that note, Hoosier, I sent an email to my ex thinking I was sending it TJ. I called my ex a db. laugh Oopsie.
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:36 PM

I was on the receiving end of MonkEE's conversation. Sort of. My boss just hung up the phone with his wife and hollered across the office for me to get something off the printer for him. He ended it with, "Thanks, babe."
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:52 PM

laugh
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:53 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
I was on the receiving end of MonkEE's conversation. Sort of. My boss just hung up the phone with his wife and hollered across the office for me to get something off the printer for him. He ended it with, "Thanks, babe."


You are too cute.
Posted By: mtngrrl

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 03:57 PM

Originally Posted By: BaconBoy
My boss just hung up the phone with his wife and hollered across the office for me to get something off the printer for him. He ended it with, "Thanks, babe."


Hilarious! Thinking you could milk that one for a while...
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 04:17 PM

One year I texted a coworker with the same name as my sister at midnight on New Years. I said "Happy New Years! Love you!"

eek
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 04:36 PM

Originally Posted By: MonkEE
One of my finer moments was then I ended a call with a coworker with "love you, bye." laugh
I did that to my ex, once, after we were divorced. laugh crazy eek
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 04:46 PM

My ex and I have a great relationship with each other adn pretty much always part with a hug n kiss and "Love you".
This always befuddles one of the ladies at the bank. Everytime it happens with her around we go through this....
"You two getting back together?"
"No"
"But you kissed her..?"
"Yep"
"So you're getting back together?"
"Nope"
"But you said you love her"
"I do"
"So you're getting back together"
"Nope"
"You two are weird!"
Posted By: raitchjay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:09 PM

My relationship with my ex-wife is kinda like that^^^^^...except totally opposite.
Posted By: #Just Jay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:12 PM

laugh
Posted By: RR Joker

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:14 PM

laugh
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:18 PM

laugh @ rhj.
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:22 PM

Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
My ex and I have a great relationship with each other adn pretty much always part with a hug n kiss and "Love you".
This always befuddles one of the ladies at the bank. Everytime it happens with her around we go through this....
"You two getting back together?"
"No"
"But you kissed her..?"
"Yep"
"So you're getting back together?"
"Nope"
"But you said you love her"
"I do"
"So you're getting back together"
"Nope"
"You two are weird!"


My real question is what the current lady/future(?) Mrs. BBB thinks of this! She's cool enough I suspect she just rolls with it, and probably confidant that she's got a tight hold on you/can whoop up on the ex if needed, but still sounds like something that might get you in trouble smirk
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:50 PM

Valid question. My relationship with my Ex is a known factor up front. So anyone that has a problem with it has the opportunity to bail immediately.
She is cool with the ex. Just like I am cool with the ex's other half.
The four of us go do stuff occasionally.
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:51 PM

Originally Posted By: MonkEE
One of my finer moments was then I ended a call with a coworker with "love you, bye." laugh

Ugh, that's so awkward! And I've only done that like 10 times with 3 different female co-workers. Awkwardness level increased exponentially the one time I said it on the phone to a male friend by mistake.
Him: Talk to you later, dude.
Me: Alright. Love you. S___. I mean, f___.
Him: [Laughter]
Me: Shut the h___ up you ____.
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:54 PM

Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
The four of us go do stuff occasionally.


No comment! smirk
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 05:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA
The four of us go do stuff occasionally.


No comment! smirk



Not "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" stuff.
Like taking the kids to the amusement park or all of us having dinner somewhere.
We cant take you anywhere Matt. laugh
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:00 PM

FedEx drops off package on my front step, addressed to next-door neighbor. Don’t know her number. Walk it over. Knock on door three times, no answer. Place package on porch, walk away. Door opens. Say, “Oh, I just wanted to let you know you got a package.” Neighbor scoops it up, looks at it, looks up and says, “Oh. Um. Okay.” Me, “Okay, bye.” Door shuts.



Halfway back home, realization goes ding: Because of how I phrased it, she thinks FedEx put it on her porch, that my visit was solely to point that out. This implies a considerable amount of watching her house.
Posted By: RR Joker

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:04 PM

Quote:
Knock on door three times


I KNEW IT! For awhile now I've been suspicious that you are really Sheldon...this proves it!!!!!!!!!! grin
Posted By: Dani York, CRCM

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:04 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
FedEx drops off package on my front step, addressed to next-door neighbor. Don’t know her number. Walk it over. Knock on door three times, no answer. Place package on porch, walk away. Door opens. Say, “Oh, I just wanted to let you know you got a package.” Neighbor scoops it up, looks at it, looks up and says, “Oh. Um. Okay.” Me, “Okay, bye.” Door shuts.



Halfway back home, realization goes ding: Because of how I phrased it, she thinks FedEx put it on her porch, that my visit was solely to point that out. This implies a considerable amount of watching her house.


That could work to your advantage if she's a bad neighbor and you want to drive her crazy.....
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:06 PM

Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Not "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" stuff.
Like taking the kids to the amusement park or all of us having dinner somewhere.
We cant take you anywhere Matt. laugh


Hey, no judgement here! I got invited to one of those "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" events. eek Unfortunately, Carol, Ted, and Alice were all involved in the pre-planning and I was the last to be invited to the party. But hey, Carol and I parted on good terms shortly thereafter laugh

(It was super awkward, as I knew the other two well. Trying to bring things back to the thread topic wink )
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:07 PM

Originally Posted By: RR Joker
Quote:
Knock on door three times


I KNEW IT! For awhile now I've been suspicious that you are really Sheldon...this proves it!!!!!!!!!! grin

That's preposterous. I do not resemble Sheldon Cooper. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.
Posted By: RR Joker

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:11 PM

laugh
Posted By: #Just Jay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:14 PM

Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Originally Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Not "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" stuff.
Like taking the kids to the amusement park or all of us having dinner somewhere.
We cant take you anywhere Matt. laugh


Hey, no judgement here! I got invited to one of those "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" events. eek Unfortunately, Carol, Ted, and Alice were all involved in the pre-planning and I was the last to be invited to the party. But hey, Carol and I parted on good terms shortly thereafter laugh

(It was super awkward, as I knew the other two well. Trying to bring things back to the thread topic wink )


I think this is worthy of a thread derailment! laugh
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:39 PM

JJ, the 70s were a really weird time in my life.
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:40 PM

Originally Posted By: Matt_B
JJ, the 70s were a really weird time in my life.


laugh laugh laugh
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 06:41 PM

confused I bet!! LOL
Posted By: RR Jen

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 07:20 PM

crazy coming from the boy who is all of 12.
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:19 PM

Hey now. Just because I'm closer to being 12 than I am to being your age...well, I'd probably need to check my math on that, but it may be true!

I've heard stories about the 70s though, sounds like fun times.
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:26 PM

Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Hey now. Just because I'm closer to being 12 than I am to being your age...well, I'd probably need to check my math on that, but it may be true!

I've heard stories about the 70s though, sounds like fun times.


RR Jen is in her 70s? Who knew? laugh
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:27 PM

Originally Posted By: edAudit
Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Hey now. Just because I'm closer to being 12 than I am to being your age...well, I'd probably need to check my math on that, but it may be true!

I've heard stories about the 70s though, sounds like fun times.


RR Jen is in her 70s? Who knew? laugh


DRINK!!
Posted By: RR Becca

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:30 PM

Just happened: I'm working on the agenda for tomorrow's meeting and meant to reply to an email from our BSA officer (who is quite possibly the most prim and proper lady you've ever met) with "Got it." I typoed the space and sent "Go tit." blush
Posted By: raitchjay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:31 PM

laugh
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/19/14 08:41 PM

Originally Posted By: edAudit
Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Hey now. Just because I'm closer to being 12 than I am to being your age...well, I'd probably need to check my math on that, but it may be true!

I've heard stories about the 70s though, sounds like fun times.


RR Jen is in her 70s? Who knew? laugh


If she tries to kick someone's face off in response to this, it better be yours and not mine!
Posted By: Sci_Comply

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 01:21 PM

When I was an executive assistant at this bank, I was talking with the pres/CEO while he was at a conference in Vegas. Right before I hung I told him to have fun and then said, "Love ya"! I slammed the phone down on the receiver hoping he didn't hear it and I was mortified that I'd just said that! Of course, there were two other co-workers eavesdropping within earshot who still give me a hard time about this. Ugg. blush
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 01:55 PM

Originally Posted By: RR Becca
Just happened: I'm working on the agenda for tomorrow's meeting and meant to reply to an email from our BSA officer (who is quite possibly the most prim and proper lady you've ever met) with "Got it." I typoed the space and sent "Go tit." blush


Hate that one, it's gotten me a few times. So far I've caught it before hitting Send. eek
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 01:55 PM

Fell off the sidewalk yesterday while walking the dogs. It's not like I haven't walked that stretch 1,000+ times since I've lived in the same place for 8 years....
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:00 PM

Originally Posted By: RR Becca
Just happened: I'm working on the agenda for tomorrow's meeting and meant to reply to an email from our BSA officer (who is quite possibly the most prim and proper lady you've ever met) with "Got it." I typoed the space and sent "Go tit." blush


Just explain that you are merely expressing your support for breeast cancer awareness month. wink
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:04 PM

At the race last weekend, I was walking up to get my race bib and packet along with 600 other racers and stepped in a gopher hole, rolled my ankle and hit the ground like a sack of potatos.
Fortunately only about 599 of them noticed. laugh
Posted By: RR Joker

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:05 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
Fell off the sidewalk yesterday while walking the dogs. It's not like I haven't walked that stretch 1,000+ times since I've lived in the same place for 8 years....


How does one 'fall off' of a sidewalk? Like the curb? Were you texting? laugh
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:06 PM

Basically what BB1 described, I hit the edge with one foot and my ankle rolled and off I went into the grass. laugh
Posted By: Bankbb1, PITA

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:10 PM

The thing to do with that is to roll, pop up and then serpentine as though you are evading fire from a sniper and then hide behind a very thin tree or stop sign!
People wont think you are clumsy then, just crazy. grin
Posted By: VWgirl21

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:17 PM

While running through my neighborhood I slipped and fell on a wet sidwalk where a man had blown his grass clippings. He kept on mowing while I sit there covered in mud in grass.

My husband got me a Road ID braclet to while running because I have a tendancy to trip and fall.
Posted By: Skittles

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:18 PM

I worked at a large bank in Louisville, KY for many years. One afternoon when leaving work after a snowstorm (this was back in the early 80's), I came out of the door and a rug had been placed on the sidewalk - that had been covered by snow. My shoe went under the rug and my toes were on top of the rub and I went down - and immediately bounced back up. My co-workers laughed at me because they said I was up before I hit the ground. I was very embarrassed by the entire situation.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:32 PM

Hard to do the tuck-and-roll with a leash and two dogs on the other end... but I managed okay.

VWgirl21, I'm trying not to laugh, but the image of you sitting covered in grass clippings is making me chuckle. I'm glad you were okay, of course. smile
Posted By: RR Jen

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:52 PM

Originally Posted By: VWgirl21
While running through my neighborhood I slipped and fell on a wet sidwalk where a man had blown his grass clippings. He kept on mowing while I sit there covered in mud in grass.

My husband got me a Road ID braclet to while running because I have a tendancy to trip and fall.


This reminds me of falling off my bike in the middle of an intersection in a neighboring tiny town. I am pretty sure I said "well, that was graceful" rather loudly.
Posted By: manimal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:53 PM

Also, I need to stop replying to myself in emails.
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 02:54 PM

Originally Posted By: VWgirl21
While running through my neighborhood I slipped and fell on a wet sidwalk where a man had blown his grass clippings. He kept on mowing while I sit there covered in mud in grass.

My husband got me a Road ID braclet to while running because I have a tendancy to trip and fall.


what would make this better is if while he was still cutting the grass he got close enough to shower you with fresh clippings, sort of like a snow globe but with grass
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/20/14 04:50 PM

Originally Posted By: manimal
Also, I need to stop replying to myself in emails.


Only open attachments from people you trust. laugh
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/22/14 09:19 PM

When you're working away, with music going, and someone extremely conservative (grandmotherly type) walks in while some gangsta thug type song is playing. It's on Pandora, it doesn't belong on the station it's playing, but I'm out of skips, so whatever...but you can't explain that away to someone like her.

Oh well. blush
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 08/25/14 01:57 PM

Originally Posted By: RR Becca
Just happened: I'm working on the agenda for tomorrow's meeting and meant to reply to an email from our BSA officer (who is quite possibly the most prim and proper lady you've ever met) with "Got it." I typoed the space and sent "Go tit." blush


Knowing those BSA types, she probably filed an ARS on you. laugh
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:03 PM

Me: “Hello. Good! How are you doing?”

(To clarify, no one asked me how I was doing. But that didn’t stop me from replying: “Good!”)
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:06 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
Me: “Hello. Good! How are you doing?”

(To clarify, no one asked me how I was doing. But that didn’t stop me from replying: “Good!”)


Ugh, I do that almost regularly. Force of habit.
Posted By: Bobby Boucher

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:12 PM

Originally Posted By: ComplyYouMust
Me: “Hello. Good! How are you doing?”

(To clarify, no one asked me how I was doing. But that didn’t stop me from replying: “Good!”)

Happens to the best of us. Saturday night picking up dinner:

Him: How...

Me: Great! And how are you?

Him: ...(having apparently noticed my Tennessee cap)...'bout them Vols? Gonna beat Mizzou tonight?
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:16 PM

::picks up ringing phone at work::

Hello, thank you for calling........(mind racing..where am I...read the mouse pad!!).
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:53 PM

laugh @ MonkEE
Posted By: raitchjay

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:57 PM

I don't have a stuttering problem (honest), but the other day i sounded like Mel Tillis trying to get out a word (i forget which word) that normally is just another word. I think people were about ready to start a telethon for me.
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 06:57 PM

Leaving a message for myself and saying: "thanks a lot!" before I hang up. crazy
Posted By: RR Joker

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:01 PM

This! ^^^
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:02 PM

Originally Posted By: MonkEE
::picks up ringing phone at work::

Hello, thank you for calling........(mind racing..where am I...read the mouse pad!!).


Oh man, another one I'm guilty of. My old bank got taken over just a few days over 5 years ago and I still occasionally struggle to remember who I work for now and almost say the old bank name. It's especially funny now that I've been working at the new one almost as long as I worked at the old one. Old habits, blah, blah, blah.
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:29 PM

I hear you MB Guy. I'm so pitiful that I still infrequently date the infrequent checks that I write with a "19" when I get to the year part of the date. 19-something is now nearly 15 years in the past. Am I on a slow descent into Alzheimer's?
Posted By: MyBrainHurts

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:40 PM

Originally Posted By: raitchjay
I don't have a stuttering problem (honest), but the other day i sounded like Mel Tillis trying to get out a word (i forget which word) that normally is just another word. I think people were about ready to start a telethon for me.


When I was a HS junior, I was in an honors English class that was half seniors. I was asked to read something in class, and when I hit the word "summary" I suddenly had no clue how to pronounce it. Soo, soo, soom, suh... The seniors were in stitches.
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:46 PM

MBH, heh. We had to give speeches in our first college public speaking class where the teacher handed out the written speeches and we just had to read what was given.

One poor guy apparently was unaware how the word "penus" was said and throughout the entire speech pronounced it "pen" with a closely followed up "us" for some unknown reason. That was a strange day in speech class.
Posted By: ItNeverEnds CRCM

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 07:55 PM

Originally Posted By: MB Guy
Originally Posted By: MonkEE
::picks up ringing phone at work::

Hello, thank you for calling........(mind racing..where am I...read the mouse pad!!).


Oh man, another one I'm guilty of. My old bank got taken over just a few days over 5 years ago and I still occasionally struggle to remember who I work for now and almost say the old bank name. It's especially funny now that I've been working at the new one almost as long as I worked at the old one. Old habits, blah, blah, blah.


Lol. This is a daily problem for me! Just been at this bank a couple of months, everytime I answer the phone I prep myself with my new banks name, but still after I say, "Thank you for calling"...there's a noticable pause before I say the banks name. Lol. And I don't have a mousepad with the banks name to help me. I think I'm going to resort to a sticky note on my phone!
Posted By: MyBrainHurts

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 08:02 PM

People who read a lot may learn a word in writing but never hear it spoken. That's what happened to my HS girlfriend, who pronounced "enigma" as "enema."
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 08:04 PM

Or those who don't read a lot who may have heard the word, but don't know how to spell it, lol.
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/24/14 09:27 PM

I rarely get external phone calls(rarely answer is more accurate, stupid vendors), so I often fumble a bit when trying to add a canned intro. It's not that bad if it's someone using my extension that's routed through the phone system a bit already, but once or twice I've just answered "hello?" and gotten a confused person thinking they had a wrong number.

At least I haven't responded with a "What do you want?" or "What did you do now?" like I do for some of our staff though. laugh
Posted By: Hobbes

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/25/14 09:18 PM

How about tripping and then jogging the next few steps, like, "yeah, I meant to suddenly break into a trot there. I didn't trip like you thought I did".

Or slipping on ice and landing flat on your @$$, and popping up and looking around to see if anyone saw you.
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/25/14 09:58 PM

Don't know if this counts as awkward or not...Last weekend I pulled out in front of traffic on my bicycle to make a left turn, and determined far too late that said traffic was going to maim and/or kill me (yeah yeah, biking can kill you), started pumping wildly to get out of traffic's way, was going too fast for my turn, so banked sharply dragging one foot to avoid a huge drop-off, and could see the sturdy little Volvo approaching rapidly all the while, so, yelled "WOW!" in two syllables (wild-cat style), as though rather than nearly Awkard Penguining myself to death, I was merely competing in the X games.
Posted By: cheekEE

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/26/14 02:19 PM

That made me laugh...really hard. I'm glad you're okay.
Posted By: YosemiteSamIAm

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/28/14 08:26 PM

The most awkward thing I have done lately is to read this thread...SAY WHAT?!
Posted By: NotDoneYet

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/28/14 08:41 PM

Calling my husband my ex-husband's name around his family. You could hear a pin drop until he said "no, I'm number three." Then another dead silence since his family didn't know that.
Posted By: corkygirl

Re: Awkward Penguins - 11/28/14 09:57 PM

Originally Posted By: DD Regs
This wasn't recent, but when my wife and I got together with some college friends a few years out of school. They had just had their second child and so we were visiting them.

We were all sitting around talking having a good time and some how the one said to my wife and I, "You are just a couple happy DINKs".

Having not heard the term I asked, what does that stand for, and the wife said, "Double Income No Kids".

So, me in my ability to think quick said, "Well you are Double Income Children Keepers, that makes you a couple DI_ _ s". There was a moment of silence, then realizing what I had said, we all bust out laughing.

To this day, it comes up everytime we get together.


I don't get in here often at all anymore but this one had me laughing till I was crying. cry

I end most all of my family phone calls with "Love Ya" and ended a phone call with a male co-worker that way one day last year. Silence at the other end before he burst out laughing.
Posted By: RR Jen

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/01/14 03:30 PM

Oh Corky! I did that to the kids dad more than once in the first couple years after our divorce. Geeze it ticked me off!!!
Posted By: ComplianceDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/01/14 09:48 PM

"How are your kids?" to a co-worker who has no children.

Generally, not remembering who has kids, how many they have, their genders, ages, or names.
Posted By: ItNeverEnds CRCM

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 05:34 PM

I thought of this thread this morning as I made an a** out of my self. I'm at the McDonalds drive thru where I go every morning to get my crack, I mean, diet coke. I'm only half listening because I already know exactly what he's going to say, "do you want anything else" I'll say no, he'll say "ok, that's going to be $1.06, at the first window". So I'm going through the motions of ordering, and I decide to open this little note my 9 year old daughter wrote me this morning. It starts out with "I love you so much , hope you have a great day..." anyway, I'm looking at it thinking she's such a sweet kid, the McDonalds dude finishes telling me how much my order is and I respond "I love you"! OMG. I was so embarassed. When I got to the window I was praying that he clicked off his headset. I played it off like I didn't say anything! Lol. Head smack. blush shocked whistle
Posted By: Bobby Boucher

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 06:33 PM

Originally Posted By: ItNeverEnds CRCM
I thought of this thread this morning as I made an a** out of my self.

Maybe I've just watched too many Hallmark Christmas specials over the last couple weeks, but I wish to take a more optomistic view: perhaps he needed to hear those words and you made his day. Perhaps in recalling this humorous exchange he will be reminded to tell someone in his life needing to hear it that he loves them. And on and on and on. Perhaps your daughter's sweet note will end up brightening the day of hundreds of people. wink

Merry Christmas! I love you all so much! smile
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 06:38 PM

I love it when I get a 21st McNugget in a 20 pack
Posted By: MB Guy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 06:41 PM

Originally Posted By: Bobby Boucher
Originally Posted By: ItNeverEnds CRCM
I thought of this thread this morning as I made an a** out of my self.

Maybe I've just watched too many Hallmark Christmas specials over the last couple weeks, but I wish to take a more optomistic view: perhaps he needed to hear those words and you made his day. Perhaps in recalling this humorous exchange he will be reminded to tell someone in his life needing to hear it that he loves them. And on and on and on. Perhaps your daughter's sweet note will end up brightening the day of hundreds of people. wink

Merry Christmas! I love you all so much! smile


That was one of the nicest posts I've read on here.
Posted By: Bobby Boucher

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 06:41 PM

Originally Posted By: MB Guy
That was one of the nicest posts I've read on here.

Don't worry, I should be back to my normal self by year's end. wink
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 07:18 PM

Originally Posted By: Peepers
I love it when I get a 21st McNugget in a 20 pack


Are you sure that wasn't your thumb? You might need to slow down. laugh
Posted By: Peepers

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 07:22 PM

or my big toe
Posted By: FOerther

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 09:46 PM

Seeing a woman in the elevator that I hadn't seen in a while and knew she was pregnant the last time I had seen her. Well, she was still pretty big so I asked "when are you due?" Her reply, had the baby 2 months ago.
Posted By: CompliantOkie

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 09:52 PM

My husband did the same thing several years ago. I haven't let him live it down yet!
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 10:00 PM

YEEARS ago when I was teller, a lady came in with one of those high waste line dresses. Made her belly stick out alittle, so I said, "So, when you due?"

She said, "Excuse me, I am not pregnant!"

Major DOHL! on my part, have never since asked that question, even if it sticking out three feet in front of her and the shirt say Baby inside with an arrow pointing. blush
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/23/14 11:02 PM

Originally Posted By: CompliantOkie
My husband did the same thing several years ago. I haven't let him live it down yet!


He didn't know you'd had the kid 2 months ago?? Wow, yeah, I'd give him grief for that too!
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/24/14 12:55 PM

Well he was busy with all the diapers and stuff coming out of each end of the kid. laugh
Posted By: Wolfy

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/24/14 02:11 PM

I thought this was a thread about how I felt when I brought TinkerBell that cool shiny pebble
Posted By: CompliantOkie

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/24/14 02:55 PM

Originally Posted By: Matt_B
Originally Posted By: CompliantOkie
My husband did the same thing several years ago. I haven't let him live it down yet!


He didn't know you'd had the kid 2 months ago?? Wow, yeah, I'd give him grief for that too!

I said I haven't let him live it down. Not that I had committed homicide that was found to be justifiable by a jury of my peers.
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Awkward Penguins - 12/24/14 03:07 PM

Originally Posted By: DD Regs
YEEARS ago when I was teller, a lady came in with one of those high waste line dresses. Made her belly stick out alittle, so I said, "So, when you due?"

She said, "Excuse me, I am not pregnant!"

Major DOHL! on my part, have never since asked that question, even if it sticking out three feet in front of her and the shirt say Baby inside with an arrow pointing. blush


recently had a vendor doing a product demo that asked one of our employees when she was due...she is single and certainly not pregnant...pretty sure that sale is not going to be made...