Silly Customer Questions

Posted By: #ONENANA

Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 04:13 PM

I had a lady call me today and ask if she could use her Bank Texas debit card to buy pharmacuticals from out of the country. I told her I did not know she would have to call Bank Texas. : >
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 04:46 PM

Maybe my brain is already fried, but I don't see the silliness of her question, nor do I understand your answer. confused

Now when people call and ask you are you opened, I want to answer, "Nope, not open, we are just here answering phones to tell people we are not open today" smirk
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 04:52 PM

It would be a strange question to ask questions regarding the suitability of the Bank Texas debit card ... to a staff member of Bank Texas' competitor.
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 05:41 PM

OOOOOOO, I see said the blind man
Posted By: Hobbes

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 06:01 PM

A frequent question at Disney World is "what time is the 3 o'clock parade?"

https://disneyinstitute.com/blog/2012/06/what-time-is-the-3-oclock-parade/68/
Posted By: #ONENANA

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 06:10 PM

Thank you noelekal! I guess I should have explained that a little better.
Posted By: Wolfy

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 06:46 PM

Fun, we actually get callers arguing and some even yelling at us for lying to them that we are not Bank of America when our sign and/or website clearly say Mid America Bank. Well we have to agree it does say Mid America Bank, but we are still not part of Bank America even so.
Posted By: Skittles

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 06:58 PM

Wolfy - we have almost the same sort of issues here at American Bank & Trust.
Posted By: SeekingKnowledge

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 07:05 PM

Originally Posted By DD Regs
Now when people call and ask you are you opened, I want to answer, "Nope, not open, we are just here answering phones to tell people we are not open today" smirk


We get this often each year, because we don't close on Columbus Day, Good Friday, etc. We take utility payments at our locations and I, when I was a teller, once had a customer upset the day after Columbus Day because he couldn't pay his electric bill the previous day because we were closed. Even after I assured him we were open he proceeded to try to convince me that he came by but we were closed. The real ironic part was that the electric company was open that day as well!
Posted By: MyBrainHurts

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 07:12 PM

Years ago, I worked for a First National Bank. We would have people wanting to cash a check or make a savings withdrawal that would insist they were our customers. Invariably, they were the customer of some other First National Bank a few states away. Sorry, we're not a franchise.
Posted By: burkemi

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 07:27 PM

I once had a customer ask me, "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!"

I didn't truly know how to respond to that. confused crazy
Posted By: PATSGirl74

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 07:37 PM

We had a woman put nearly $1,000 in silver dollars in the drive thru tube (which travels thru an underground system) and then got mad when the tube jammed and we could not retreive her money without a maintenance crew.
We reminded her of the "LOOSE COIN NOT ALLOWED" signage to which she argued with us "Her coin was not loose. It was contained in the drive thru tube"
Imagine how heavy that tube was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knucklehead

To this day we joke that she thought "loose coin" was literally thrown into the drive thru and shot out coin by coin into the lobby
Posted By: Trips3

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 07:37 PM

burkemi .. think we shared a customer ....had the exact same thing happen with LOC checks ... scary very scary
Posted By: califgirl

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:16 PM

Years ago, I worked for Laguna National Bank & Trust, and 3 blocks away was Laguna Bank, N.A. Everyone was confused. confused
Posted By: justsayjulie

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:30 PM

During college in the late 80s, I worked at a bank with an ATM in the vestibule. I manned the first teller station, and usually had to deal with customers having ATM issues. One day, a fellow student walked in and told me he couldn't get any money from the machine. I looked up his account and saw his balance was zero. In a dazed voice, he said, "You mean the money I take out of the ATM comes out of MY account?!"
Posted By: ahkcompliance

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:30 PM

When I was a teller I once had a customer ask me if I could order checks without the number at the bottom (referring to MICR line). She explained that she just didn't like the looks of them.

I told her that I was sorry that I would not be able to accommodate her request as those were vital information on her check and she proceeded to speak to my supervisor to inform her I needed to please my customers. My supervisor had a nice chuckle for the day.
Posted By: Skittles

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:35 PM

justsayjulie - that is priceless! (and yours too, akhcompliance)
Posted By: burkemi

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:36 PM

Originally Posted By Trips3
burkemi .. think we shared a customer ....had the exact same thing happen with LOC checks ... scary very scary


Yes....very scary indeed! But this customer had only (thank goodness) a checking account. She could not get it...how she was overdrawn when she still hadn't written all of her checks.
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:43 PM

At my old bank I had a customer whose card got stuck in the ATM and it shut down the ATM for an entire 3-day weekend. Turns out the customer's card would slide out of his wallet, so he swiped a glue stick across it to keep it in his wallet.
Posted By: CULady

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 08:48 PM

Years ago when I was a teller, I had a member deposit a check under a rock. NO JOKE. He called and said that he couldn't find the night drop (didn't have one at that particular branch) so he left the SIGNED check under a rock. Trying not to laugh I asked, "Sir, could you please describe the rock?" Sure enough, went outside and found under a paver by the door a slightly damp check.
To this day, that is still my favorite member story.
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:02 PM

We closed an office once, covered the ATM and Nightdrop with plywood and put a sign on it directing people to the nearest offices, until we could do sell the building.

Later I had a customer who went delinquent on his car loan, in the collection processes the man argued he had been making his payments in the night drop. So, I asked him what office, as our office did not have a nightdrop.

He proceeded to tell me at the "Tri- Village" office. I said, that office had been closed for 3 months.

He said, "that explains the plywood" ... face palm....

(We went down to the building and sure enough there were 3 checks in the nightdrop)
Posted By: justsayjulie

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:04 PM

You guys are cracking me up!!
Posted By: #ONENANA

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:04 PM

Had another one today!! The customer asked me if check #1212 had cleared her account yet. I told her it had not. She asked me who she had written the check out to and for how much!!
Posted By: DoS

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:17 PM

a LONG time ago I worked at an arcade. I had a teenage girl push a quarter through an out-of-order sign (literally punched a hole in the laminated sign with her quarter) and couldn't figure out why it wasn't letting her play.
Posted By: OkieOps

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:55 PM

I once had a lady ask me if I could tell her which of her checks were still outstanding. Um, no.
Posted By: Derwood

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 09:59 PM

One of my favorites was a customer who called in to ask if she needed a special kind of pen to sign the back of her credit card. She had tried several different styles but none of them would show up because the signature line was too dark.

She had been trying to sign on the mag stripe.
Posted By: GuitarDude

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/07/15 10:00 PM

Originally Posted By OkieOps
I once had a lady ask me if I could tell her which of her checks were still outstanding. Um, no.


You should have told her that her checks were outstanding but she needs to improve. laugh
Posted By: BetsyS

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 12:46 AM

I sometimes get calls from customers at home (Community Bank= customer service) It amazes me that some of them can remember my last name to look me up in the phone directory but still can't get my first name right (Becky, Betty, Barbara, Boss Lady, What's her name, " Betsy? No-that doesn't sound right..."
Posted By: Hobbes

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 12:17 PM

We had a customer who claimed her ATM card didn't work. Turns out she was standing in front of the machine waving it back and forth. Didn't understand the whole swipe process.
Posted By: Hoosierland

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 04:31 PM

After I graduated from college (in the early 90s), I worked in a bank in that same town for a couple of years. Once we had an issue with one of our customer's checks. She was an art student, and decided that she didn't like the look of any of the checks we offered. So, she designed her own and "drew" the MICR line on there. It looked reasonably good considering she drew those MICR numbers by hand. But, she just couldn't understand why the bank's systems couldn't read the MICR line on her lovely checks!
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:08 PM

As a long-time loan officer in a previous incarnation, a loan interview inquiry into the collateral that the applicant proposed to offer on some of the hair-brained loan requests fielded through the years elicited some really silly responses.

Aunt Agnes' Buick without her permission, real dinosaur bones, boob jobs, cubic zirconia masquerading as diamonds, emus, live rattlesnakes as part of "rattlesnake products," and a '71 Plymouth Fury station wagon with a 12-inch hackberry tree growing up out of the opened hood of the engine compartment all come to mind without much effort to recall.

The silliest however are the inevitable unsecured loan requests constantly made by the "debt-fearless" for all sorts of wild amounts and for all sorts of wild purposes.
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:10 PM

Like the loan request to make payments on another loan with another bank whistle
Posted By: trout22

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:12 PM

Originally Posted By burkemi
I once had a customer ask me, "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!"


My customer started with this exact logic but then took it a step further... since she had checks left, she wrote one payable to the Bank for $100, handed it to me, and asked me to deposit it into her checking account... so she could withdraw the $100 she was looking for in the first place.

No, sorry lady, it STILL doesn't work like that.
Posted By: Skittles

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:22 PM

You guys are killing me!!!
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:30 PM

Originally Posted By DD Regs
Like the loan request to make payments on another loan with another bank whistle


Yeah, that hoary old one too!

Not humorously silly but probably the silliest of all are the credit card consolidation requests, doubly so when they are off-loaded into a home-equity loan so that the customer is free to "load 'em up" all over again.

Seen it happen, once with a fellow bank staff member. She was denied but went to the next town and obtained the home equity loan with the bank in which my wife was employed at the time. Ran 'em right back up to stratospheric heights again, she did. Didn't take but a year or so either!

That's silly in itself, to be married and be bankers at different banks. We've both changed institutions since the above home equity loan request occurred but we still work for competitive lending institutions. Guess what we don't want to discuss at the dinner table?
Posted By: DD Regs

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 05:40 PM

Years ago I worked for Household Bank, a sister to Household Finance. Which we were in the same city just blocks from each other.

Often had customers want to make their HFC payments, we would tell them they would need to take the payment to HFC, and they would argue, "But your name is Household." We would say, Yes Household BANK not FINANCE. You need to go 2 blocks down to the HFC office.

They would throw their arms up and hissy fit out.


Then like I mentioned earlier, they would have accounts with each of us, take an advance from our LOC to make a payment to HFC, then the next month take a advance from HFC and pay us...
Posted By: BetsyS

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 07:30 PM

Originally Posted By trout22
My customer started with this exact logic but then took it a step further... since she had checks left, she wrote one payable to the Bank for $100, handed it to me, and asked me to deposit it into her checking account... so she could withdraw the $100 she was looking for in the first place.


I had a customer list a $25 check with a $100 less cash on a deposit slip for a net deposit of -$75. Really? a negative deposit?
Posted By: Matt_B

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 09:08 PM

Wait until they start making positive withdrawals! Those crazy people.

My favorite stories tend to come from the collections world. The people that didn't realize they had to pay borrowed money back, or couldn't make their credit card payment because they had to go on vacation and used up all their money. There are lots of good ones, most aren't PC enough to be posted without getting the thread shut down though laugh
Posted By: ahkcompliance

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 09:12 PM

We had a customer deposit $300 in an ATM (it actually was only $3) and proceeded to withdraw $300 in which they really did not have. We discovered it Monday and called the customer to ask why they only deposited $3. He proceeded to tell us that he didn't do it and it was his girlfriend. We said we can verify it was you because we see you on the video. He replied "No, I had a stocking cap on." Our ops person responded "That maybe true but you pulled the stocking cap over your face AFTER you did the deposit" and show him the footage.

The look on his face was priceless!
Posted By: Jafo

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 09:52 PM

Does a customer calling and asking if we would take care of their cat because they were out on the window ledge with a butter knife count?

I still don't know what they were doing out there?
Posted By: Lestie G

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/08/15 10:20 PM

A customer once assured me that none of her checks could ever be forged because as soon as she got them in the mail, she signed every single one of them.
Posted By: bgehres

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 04:48 PM

We had a person apply for a loan and during the conversation ask "How much is the payment going to be with the late fee?"

Made that decision easy.
Posted By: edAudit

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 04:52 PM

not quite a customer but at one bank where we were robbed, the robber brought a paper bag so small that the teller had to bend the moneyto fit it in.
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 05:03 PM

Originally Posted By bgehres
We had a person apply for a loan and during the conversation ask "How much is the payment going to be with the late fee?"

Made that decision easy.


Good one that.

I once went to a borrower's residence in the outer reaches of the bank's trade area to repossess their new '87 Camaro they'd only had for 90 days. Don't now recall exactly how the conversation went down but the wife allowed that: "they really didn't know if they could afford the car or not when they bought it but thought they'd go ahead and buy it to find out."

Doing dealer recourse paper when the owner of the local Chevrolet dealership sat as a rather imperious member on the bank's board of directors netted perhaps more than the usual number of silly auto loans.
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 05:16 PM

Originally Posted By edAudit
not quite a customer but at one bank where we were robbed, the robber brought a paper bag so small that the teller had to bend the moneyto fit it in.


Low expectations.

The Magic Briefcase

We had a variation on the same theme once when a crazy loon was berating our cashier over the claim that the bank had lost the 1.2 million in cash that he'd recently deposited into a new account which we had no record of opening. She knew he was a loon but was caught in her office with him getting more and more worked up with contrived anger and indignation. Concerned with her safety, I blundered into this fiasco. He repeated his story of opening this account to me, saying he'd brought the money into the bank in the same standard-sized briefcase he was then holding in his lap. When I inquired about the denominations of the cash with which he'd opened this account he belligerently stated that it had been fives, tens, and twenties.

I excused myself to call in law enforcement who finished sorting him out.
Posted By: NotDoneYet

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 05:22 PM

I had a teller approached by a "customer" with a note: I need $1500. She told him he had to apply for a loan. He argued he just wanted the money. She refused and the would-be-robber left.
Posted By: Hobbes

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 06:03 PM

Originally Posted By NotDoneYet
I had a teller approached by a "customer" with a note: I need $1500. She told him he had to apply for a loan. He argued he just wanted the money. She refused and the would-be-robber left.


I think something like that is still an offense. Years ago we had a guy come in to cash his paycheck. He handed the teller his paycheck and ID, and while she was running it, he said "give me all your money". When she asked what he said, he said he was just joking and wanted to see if she was paying attention. Well, it still rattled her, and it turned out to be some sort of criminal offense. Of course we had his name and DL info from the check, so the police went and picked him up.
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 06:07 PM

this note says you have a gub, what is a gub?

a gub? it says gun.

no, it clearly says gub...

honestly, I have always found his movies to be slow, but that was definitely funny
Posted By: renniks

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 07:48 PM

At a Bank I used to work for, we had a gentleman come in one morning to apply for a personal loan for $812. He said, with a straight face, that it was so he could pay his drug dealer money he owed him. The loan was denied, so later that afternoon he came back in with a note demanding exactly $812 and passed it to a teller. He got the money and ran out the door. It was very simple for the police to track him down because the manager recognized him from when he was in that morning and of course, we had everything we needed to know about him from the loan application!
Posted By: mtngrrl

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/09/15 09:52 PM

Originally Posted By renniks
At a Bank I used to work for, we had a gentleman reprobate come in one morning to apply for a personal loan for $812. He said, with a straight face, that it was so he could pay his drug dealer money he owed him. The loan was denied, so later that afternoon he came back in with a note demanding exactly $812 and passed it to a teller. He got the money and ran out the door. It was very simple for the police to track him down because the manager recognized him from when he was in that morning and of course, we had everything we needed to know about him from the loan application!


fixed
Posted By: renniks

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/10/15 06:37 PM

A perfect fix!
Posted By: Elwood P. Dowd

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/10/15 09:13 PM

Customer rented a safe deposit box. She went in the branch and requested access. After some confusion, bank personnel told her that her box was at a different office. Full of indignation she said, "They told me I could go to any branch I wanted to!"
Posted By: Wolfy

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/13/15 02:30 PM

Years back while working for ma bell I received a call on a full moon day and when I said hello how can I help you she responded with um why did you call me? I noted to her that it was in fact her that called me, she was oh that is right but why would I call you? I said truly I did not know but that it was OK and to have a wonderful day.

She then pleaded with me to stay on the phone and try to help her remember why she might have called me. ^_^
Posted By: ItNeverEnds CRCM

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/13/15 10:56 PM

Not a question, but following the robbery lines, one I was involved in passed a note:

"Give me all your money or I'll show you my resolver"

This still cracks me up.
Posted By: swiggles

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/14/15 02:27 PM

Originally Posted By burkemi
I once had a customer ask me, "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!"

I didn't truly know how to respond to that. confused crazy
Or...."I'm not overdrawn. My check register shows I have a balance."

Or...better yet....

Customer...."what is my balance?"
Teller....."$1,234.00"
Customer....."my check register shows a lot less!!" (meaning, more than likely checks written within the last two days haven't cleared)

My brother used to insist that the bank had taken his money when his balance on his statement was less than the bottom line on his register.
Posted By: noelekal

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/14/15 09:17 PM

Not a question but pretty silly.

Printing one's own money "because the president said she could."

http://washington.cbslocal.com/2015/07/14/police-woman-blames-obama-for-counterfeiting-money/

"Good quality" counterfeits too, by the description of it, hah!

Soon to be found in your tellers' cash drawers.
Posted By: Bacon Boy

Re: Silly Customer Questions - 07/15/15 02:57 PM

Most epic statement from that article: “I don’t give a ****, all these other b****** get to print money, so I can too,” she reportedly told police when she was arrested.


laugh

I want to use that as my excuse for *everything* on which I'm called out.