The "where the heck has the bar been" bar is open

sorry, been busy with the remodeling and all...I hope everyone enjoys the new décor...it took longer than expected to removed the Aqua-Net residue that had built up in the ladies room over the past few years, that stuff is worse than superglue...

anyway, please enjoy the LED lighting (which allows you to read your TRID documents and CRCM Exam Study Guide no matter where you sit), the 46 different beer taps at every table and booth, the wait staff is all former CFPB examiners, so not only will they be very slow, their suggestions are usually horrible, as is their service, and double check those checks, they're likely wrong as well.

For those who choose to indulge in cheesy hash browns, there is a separate room in the back that serves these along with cholesterol medicine IVs.

::walks in and immediately shuts eyes::

Dang! Turn those lights down will ya? With it so bright in here how in the world can I throw darts and the wait staff not be able to see that I'm aiming at them!

::opens tap on lime infused beer::

--Ducks a stray dart --

Nice rehab! I kind of miss that smell of aquanet mingled with cheesy hashbrowns, but I'll adjust, I'm sure! Ohhhh, that Blue Moon sure tastes good!

THERE. ARE. NO. FRUITED. BEER. TAPS

The checks aren't 'wrong,' you just have to understand the calculations. The cost per drink is the actual cost, plus any tips financed, less costs expected to be paid by others in your party (assuming you have a written contract in place allocating said costs accordingly). The total due, however, will not reflect the costs expected to be paid by others in your party. The total will be calculated by adding the actual cost per drink, plus tips financed, less tips expected to be paid in cash, multiplied by the date, divided by your shoe size. This will avoid giving you false expectations of having a reasonable total due, even though your actual total due might, in fact, be much lower than the amount shown.

Man walks into a bar, what does he say?

Ouch!

Good one, Becca! !

Happy...sure there is Lime infused beer on tap...it's right there next to the medium rare filet mignon!

Where's the like button for RR Becca?

As this is just a community bar and the cost of compliance out weighs the cost of a drink the bar is for sale to a mega bar and cost per drink will be tripled.

I just want a nice glass of wine, and maybe some cheese....TGIF

Make sure your bartender complies with the Truth in Blending Act when making your frozen margaritas!

Yep....the uncensored version!

and we have our first banned patron...out out out...and don't come back!

After this crazy week, I just might drink anything you serve (within reason - because I understand that could open up some not-so-nice suggestions).

:rolls whiskey barrel to basil and hands her a straw:
This outtta cure anything!

As for me, I'll be in the corner dodging darts and incoherently mumbling something about clods.....

::sneaks over to basil's whiskey barrel and fills up a glass pitcher::

Bloody Mary time!!!