Young and hard to control [Preschoolers]
Posted By: °X°
Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 05:55 PM
buffalo news Preschool administrators find the ranks of problem children are growing
Kids these days.
They're getting more disrespectful, abusive, defiant and prone to tantrums. A few are even getting kicked out of school, getting pulled from the classroom by frustrated parents or being asked to cut back on their classroom hours until they shape up.
And they're only 4.
"In the past five years, I've seen it become more difficult to deal with children," said Judy Sharkey, director of Sheridan Day Care Center in the Town of Tonawanda.
Snip...........
_______
Is this just in Buffalo or all over America? I wonder what is happening - perhaps the liberal mindset has kicked in at the 4 year old level.
Posted By: Hated By Some
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:03 PM
Are you sure this wasn't from The Onion?
Posted By: °X°
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:26 PM
No - it's a serious post and a serious subject.
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:28 PM
Is that cat wearing a Morbid Angel wooly?
Posted By: °X°
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:36 PM
What cat?
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:37 PM
I'd be disrespectful, abusive, defiant and prone to tantrums too if I were four years old and made to go to school!
Does this report tie in with this from today's news:
One of the studies, by Stanford University and University of California researchers, is to be presented Friday at a conference in Washington, D.C.
The researchers collected data on more than 14,000 children nationwide, conducted interviews with mothers and teachers, visited classrooms and assessed student achievement.
The other study, funded by the National Institute of Child Health & Human Development, was published in the fall edition of American Educational Research Journal.
That study was based on 770 children and consists of observations at home and day care, reports from mothers and teachers and standardized test results.
According to the Stanford and UC study, children who spend more than six hours a day in center-based care outside the home showed poor social skills. It is especially pronounced among middle and upper-income children.
Researchers noted social detriments such as "diminished levels of cooperation, sharing, motivated engagement in classroom tasks and greater aggression."
Poor social skills? I thought developing good social skills was one of the arguments for sending kids to daycare!
Posted By: Hated By Some
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:50 PM
Sounds like classic paralysis by analysis. The conclusions reached in many of these studies prove nothing more than the actual results of the study rather than suggesting a extrapolative trend.
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:54 PM
Don't like the results, huh, Ron?
Posted By: Hated By Some
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 06:57 PM
No, I am just not sure what value the results really hold.
Posted By: someone else
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:04 PM
I will say this: my son is 6 1/2 years old so I have some experience with the post by X. I don't necessarily think that children are more abusive or prone to tantrums. I think that all children experience these behavior issues. I think the real problem is that the PARENTS do not discipline their children and therefore, the bad behavior continues. I cannot believe some of the "parenting" I have seen in my son's schools. Absolutely horrendous. It all comes back to the parents in my opinion.
Posted By: Hated By Some
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:05 PM
I agree Gatto.
Posted By: MichelleDawn
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:10 PM
Man, my parents would have killed me if I acted up in school. I think Gatto is onto something. Dad could make my sister and I cry just by looking at us. He never needed to hit us.
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:12 PM
Quote:
I will say this: my son is 6 1/2 years old so I have some experience with the post by X. I don't necessarily think that children are more abusive or prone to tantrums. I think that all children experience these behavior issues. I think the real problem is that the PARENTS do not discipline their children and therefore, the bad behavior continues. I cannot believe some of the "parenting" I have seen in my son's schools. Absolutely horrendous. It all comes back to the parents in my opinion.
The problem is that these days there is too much obedience by the parents to the children. In more and more households things have gotten turned on their heads! I think blaming it on daycare is not right. The problem is that a lot of parents who only spend an hour or two with their kids each night, either because of guilt or just wanting those two hours to be smooth, quiet, and without confrontation, do not discipline the kids. Or after a hard day at work by both parents, neither of them muster up the stamina to discipline the kids. I agree. If both parents are going to work (or you are a single parent), you've got to be strong, disciplined, determined, constistent, and willing to do the tough work on even when you are worn out.
Posted By: blvsinangels
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:13 PM
I agree completely. Far too many parents are counting on "day care" to raise their children. Discipline and good manners start at home, however I do feel that when you have a well behaved child at day care that is being bullied, and by this I mean bitten, knocked down, slapped, the day care should take the responsiblity of removing the problem child from the day care setting. Put the little monster back in the hands of the parents and let them deal with the bad behavior. I was fortunate to have my daughter at home until she was in kindergarten, it broke my heart to have to teach her that some kids are just not nice.
Posted By: Angelica
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:19 PM
No kidding, all my Dad had to do was look at my brother and me and we would instantly behave. My parents never hit us, or gave us time outs. You just didn't act that way. My two kids are in day care full time, and have been since the beginning. I am constantly told how well behaved and well adjusted they are to social situations. I do not have to remind then to say please and thank you, they just do. But from the first day, my husband and I made sure we said those things to each other. My kids don't think anything of it. My son is only two and says thank you all the time. Well, he says "Fanks, Mom" but it means thanks.
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:27 PM
When I was younger I remember being in a restaurant where there were misbehaving children. The parents were doing nothing. It was as if they thought this restaurant was their private romper room (and it was not a fast food joint where that is ok to a degree). My dining companion asked me what my parents would have done if I acted that way. I said, "I don't know and the reason that I don't know is that it would have been SO BAD that I never acted like that!" Not all of it was fear driven though. Part of my behavior was fear of the punishment and part was the good example my parents gave me and part was their good training.
Posted By: MichelleDawn
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:35 PM
If my sister and I even thought of acting up in public (which wasn't very often - my parents trained us like Pavlov's dogs - you got a look and you started acting right) Mom would lean over and say "Would you like to go sit in the car with your father?" I don't know what would have happened in the car, but Charlene and I never took the chance.
Posted By: Clown Boy
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:36 PM
In parents defense though, it is a lot harder to discipline in this day and age... When I was a kid my mom would threaten to spank me when I was acting up. (She never did, but the threat was enough.) I believe her exact words were something like, "Cut it out or I'm gonna spank your a$$ till it's black and blue!!" Now jump to today, if you were to yell that at your child, say, inside of Wal-Mart, they're gonna call the police, you're gonna be investigated by Social Services, and you're gonna have to pay for therapy for the next 10 years for your kid....
Now I'm not saying that it's not the parents fault, I'm just saying that the world is alot more PC than it used to be...
Posted By: someone else
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:41 PM
GT - true...isn't that sad? Everyone is so damn touchy feely nowadays. Parents want to be their child's friend instead of their parent. Don't get me wrong, my son and I have a great time together. But I am always the parent FIRST, friend second. It is my responsibility to raise him properly and that is exactly what I intend to do...even when he doesn't like my decisions.
Posted By: Clown Boy
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 07:55 PM
Exactly, Like the other day, my daughter was pulling on the puppy's ears and making him upset. I would pull her away from the puppy and tell her "no" but she would just crawl back up to him and start pulling his ears. So finally I smacked her hand (not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to get the point across that she can't pull the puppy's ears) and my neighbor who was there got upset saying that I should never raise a hand to a child... Anyhoo long story short, IMO the dog snapping at her hand would have hurt her a lot more than me smacking it so I thought I did the right thing, but my neighbor thinks I should have just kept telling her "no" (She's only one year old so I'm sure she doesn't understand Webster’s definition of "no")
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 08:01 PM
Quote:
Exactly, Like the other day, my daughter was pulling on the puppy's ears and making him upset. I would pull her away from the puppy and tell her "no" but she would just crawl back up to him and start pulling his ears. So finally I smacked her hand (not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to get the point across that she can't pull the puppy's ears) and my neighbor who was there got upset saying that I should never raise a hand to a child... Anyhoo long story short, IMO the dog snapping at her hand would have hurt her a lot more than me smacking it so I thought I did the right thing, but my neighbor thinks I should have just kept telling her "no" (She's only one year old so I'm sure she doesn't understand Webster’s definition of "no")
Now, there's a "mind your own business" moment if I ever saw one.
Posted By: Raiderette
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 08:08 PM
Here is another side. I am a single mom, and my "mean" voice really isn't that mean. My "mean" stare isn't that mean. My kids laugh at me when I try to discipline them. Yes, when I tell them no, they usually know Imean it, but there are times when it's just funny. Yes, I could spank them, but my spanking isn't "mean" enough for them to get it. In public people take offense to disciplining. It's not the parents fault(on occassion). I take offense to people that think it is.
Posted By: cheekEE
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 09:43 PM
Quote:
If my sister and I even thought of acting up in public (which wasn't very often - my parents trained us like Pavlov's dogs - you got a look and you started acting right) Mom would lean over and say "Would you like to go sit in the car with your father?" I don't know what would have happened in the car, but Charlene and I never took the chance.
LOL! That is what I say to my 2yr old. I tell her that if she doesn't sit in her chair like a big girl we will take a time out in the car. Sometimes she actually wants to go! I don't mind though. We walk out there and she calms down and go back to whatever we were doing.
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 10:21 PM
I always did the 1-2-3 approach. The kids never pushed it past 3. I really don't know what I would have done if I did reach 3 and they were still doing whatever it was they were doing. Start over? Go to 4? Thank goodness I never found out!
Signed,
Another Anon
Posted By: XODUS
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/01/05 10:27 PM
I thankfully have a kid that is well disciplined and behaves well at 4. I had to set the line when he was younger but he now is pretty good. He even turned down candy before dinner last night, however, it bothers me when I go to pick him up from daycare and he has been hit by one of the forementioned children.
Posted By: cheekEE
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 03:46 PM
Quote:
I thankfully have a kid that is well disciplined and behaves well at 4. I had to set the line when he was younger but he now is pretty good. He even turned down candy before dinner last night, however, it bothers me when I go to pick him up from daycare and he has been hit by one of the forementioned children.
It shows that YOU are the reason your child is the way he is (woo hoo for a responcible adult ). Most likely the kid that hit yours at daycare doen't have parents that either are lazy about discipline or just not educated about effective disipline. It truly is sad that our caregivers and teachers have to teacher children of today how to behave.
Posted By: Raiderette
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 06:25 PM
Quote:
Quote:
I thankfully have a kid that is well disciplined and behaves well at 4. I had to set the line when he was younger but he now is pretty good. He even turned down candy before dinner last night, however, it bothers me when I go to pick him up from daycare and he has been hit by one of the forementioned children.
It shows that YOU are the reason your child is the way he is (woo hoo for a responcible adult ). Most likely the kid that hit yours at daycare doen't have parents that either are lazy about discipline or just not educated about effective disipline. It truly is sad that our caregivers and teachers have to teacher children of today how to behave.
Builder Chick, you are one of the people that makes offensive comments to pi$$ people off. Unfortunately, I have over active children. They are the type to hit other children at daycare. I am NOT lazy about discipline, and I don't lack in the education of effective discipline either. I am a single mom. You have to look at each situation to understand why a child is the way he or she is. My daughter, sadly doesn't have a dad. My boys are with their dad every other week, and me every other week. This attributes to the behavior of each child. You negatively put parents like me on the front line to take negative remarks, when in reality we do the best we can and are good parents. Yes, there are parents in the categories that you described, however, not all parents are there. You describe it as such. In the future, please be careful how you word your comments and feelings.
Posted By: cheekEE
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 07:25 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I thankfully have a kid that is well disciplined and behaves well at 4. I had to set the line when he was younger but he now is pretty good. He even turned down candy before dinner last night, however, it bothers me when I go to pick him up from daycare and he has been hit by one of the forementioned children.
It shows that YOU are the reason your child is the way he is (woo hoo for a responcible adult ). Most likely the kid that hit yours at daycare doen't have parents that either are lazy about discipline or just not educated about effective disipline. It truly is sad that our caregivers and teachers have to teacher children of today how to behave.
Builder Chick, you are one of the people that makes offensive comments to pi$$ people off. Unfortunately, I have over active children. They are the type to hit other children at daycare. I am NOT lazy about discipline, and I don't lack in the education of effective discipline either. I am a single mom. You have to look at each situation to understand why a child is the way he or she is. My daughter, sadly doesn't have a dad. My boys are with their dad every other week, and me every other week. This attributes to the behavior of each child. You negatively put parents like me on the front line to take negative remarks, when in reality we do the best we can and are good parents. Yes, there are parents in the categories that you described, however, not all parents are there. You describe it as such. In the future, please be careful how you word your comments and feelings.
Holly cow! I wasn't referring to you personally so take frickin' pill. I go out of my way to NOT offend people. I too was a single mom for quite a while and know how hard that can be and I am not taking anything away from your parenting skills. When I posted I was thinking a few particular people that I have encountered the past 11 years in the school system and daycare. When I say uneducated in the process...I mean that people that yell at their kids in pubic to disipline them may not be the most effective process.
....And this is why I don't usually respond to any posts that have any frinkin' content!
Posted By: Raiderette
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 07:42 PM
BC, I know you weren't referring to me personally. I'm just saying that the way it was worded seemed to refer to "every" parent that had children that weren't well behaved. I take offense to anyone that refers to parents as bad when they have children that misbehave. Not just you. Sorry, that you took it so hard, but so did I, even though I know it wasn't directed to me personally.
Posted By: MichelleDawn
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 09:14 PM
You can get as mad at me as you want, but children's behavior does stem from the way the parent handles it. That isn't to say that anyone is always a bad parent, but it does mean you haven't found the appropriate way to teach your children to behave with others.
Posted By: Raiderette
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 09:21 PM
How many perfect little angels do you have MD??
There are kids that have actual problems... There is more to it then parenting. My daughter has anxiety, yes it has been medically diagnosed. This causes a lot of her behavior. My 3 year old has a learning diability due to being very sick the first year of his life. This causes a lot of his behavior. My 1 year old is just a normal toddler. Other then learning behavior from his older siblings, he is a great child... It's NOT ALWAYS the parents.
Posted By: MichelleDawn
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 09:25 PM
If you would have read the whole post before you got all bent out of shape you would have seen I said behavior comes from the way the parent handles it. Not that the parent is responsible for it. If you are as easily frustrated and reactionary at home as you are in here then it feeds physical problems.
Posted By: Raiderette
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 09:32 PM
I read it all the way through. I am very patient with my kids at home and in public, yet I am firm and consistent with my discipline. It's the way the child takes the punishment. NOT ALWAYS the parenting or the parents reaction...
Posted By: Clown Boy
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 09:37 PM
You guys need to hug and make up...
Posted By: cheekEE
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 10:12 PM
Quote:
My daughter has anxiety, yes it has been medically diagnosed.
Have you looked into Big Brothers/Big Sisters for your daughter? You would be surprised how much having a "Big Sis" helps...not to say it will solve her anxiety, but it might be something she could enjoy. (My husband mentors boys and I have really seen a change in his boys)
Posted By: Carly Girl
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 10:21 PM
Quote:
You guys need to hug and make up...
There you go again, Guy. You just love it when girls hug dont you? Sick, sick, sick
Posted By: Clown Boy
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 10:23 PM
Quote:
Quote:
My daughter has anxiety, yes it has been medically diagnosed.
Have you looked into Big Brothers/Big Sisters for your daughter? You would be surprised how much having a "Big Sis" helps...not to say it will solve her anxiety, but it might be something she could enjoy. (My husband mentors boys and I have really seen a change in his boys)
I don't know, I'm a big brother... seems they'll let just about anyone do it these days... (I'm just kidding, I take my "little brother" very seriously)
Posted By: Clown Boy
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 10:24 PM
Quote:
Quote:
You guys need to hug and make up...
There you go again, Guy. You just love it when girls hug dont you? Sick, sick, sick
Guilty as charged.
Posted By: Carly Girl
Re: Young and hard to control [Preschoolers] - 11/02/05 10:27 PM
Hey, maybe I should try that line!? but I definitely dont want to see a bunch of guys hugging....gross!