My Little K doesn't talk, any ideas?

One of my younger grandchildren, age 18 months, seems to be so far behind in her speech skills. She can only say 4-5 words that a stranger would likely understand. Mama, dadda, yeah and huh about wrap it up (and those aren't clear). The other grandchildren could carry on full conversations and sing several songs all the way through at her age so I am beginning to be truly concerned that something is wrong.

She seems to be meeting basic motor skill milestones and seems fairly intelligent. Initially, I suspected that she could be autistic, but she seems to be interacting with others too much for that to be the problem.

She had multiple ear infections as an infant, so I tend to lean toward some type of hearing problem. I know that she can hear because she responds when you speak to her behind her back. But maybe the sound is somehow distorted?

My daughter is currently relying of government medical coverage for her children, so options are more limited. Hopefully, they will allow some type of special testing soon, but who knows? I know public funds are limited.

Any thoughts or resource ideas would be appreciated. THANKS!

Brenda, I wouldn't be overly concerned. My 20 month old still has a very limited vocabulary, even though he is sharp as can be. He probably only has a vocal vocabulary of about 5-6 words, but in the past week or so he has started mimicking us more. He definitely knows how to communicate with us, and is good with sign language, and boy does he have his own jibber jabber! Our pediatrician told us not to be concerned, since everything else is fine developmentally. She said some kids just talk later. As a side note, my mother in law loves to tell the story of her son (my hubby) taking forever to talk, and when he finally did, his first word was hippopotamus. I've always chalked it up to her tendency to exaggerate, but now I'm not so sure!

Brenda, I don't know that I can offer you much except some encouragement. My own son (now 9) has always been very verbal and was an early talker. But my niece on my husband's side (now 7) was very slow to talk and there were no health issues at all, she just took her time.

My brother has an 18 month old girl who also speaks a dozen words (or less) clearly, but she is very intelligent and has no health issues.

I think there is a pretty wide range of what is "normal" so I wouldn't worry too much yet. Especially if there are older siblings, she may not "need" to talk to get her point across. Her needs are perhaps noticed and met before she ever has to say a thing.

I don't know about Alabama, but where I live, there is a state-sponsored program that will provide physical, occupational, and speech therapy (maybe others as well) to young children at no cost, regardless of financial need. The child's pediatrician or doctor would be a good place to learn about any available programs like this.

Brenda, My advice to you is: wait 6 months before you get concerned. I wouldn't be surprised if this child's vocabulary explodes exponentially and she starts talking a ton by her 2nd birthday. There is a huge range of what is "normal" and ironically, your worry (and her parents' worry) is communicated to her and may actually feed into this and cause her to talk less! Relax, hug her a ton, talk to her as much as you can, and wait it out and let nature take its course. I will keep her and you in my prayers.

Both of my brother's daughters were slow to talk. The older one just 'started' talking one day and she was very verbal. She knew how, but just didn't bother.

Another thing that my niece pointed out to me (she has two daughters). Just as Hoosierland said (actually my niece lives in Indianapolis - funny) the second (or later) child may not talk as much because they may not need to - everyone else is doing the talking for them.

If you're that uncomfortable, get your child checked out by a doctor. Then when they don't find anything wrong you'll sleep much better.

Brenda

Go out to a medical site and find out what is "normal" for a two year old. At that age they are not talking very much but I don't remember the actual number. I thought it was like 10 words. If I am correct she will add more before she is two.

My niece was slow to talk because her older brother did the talking for her. One day (close to her 2nd birthday) she just started talking and she hasn't shut up since! Enjoy the peace while you can.

Great advice.
My little one didn't talk much at 18 months either. I too worried. No shame in that. But I patiently worked with her, pointing out objects and practicing the word over and over and over. And now, at 5 - she gets in trouble in school for talking too much.

Some comedian I saw once said (I'm paraphrasing here): We spend the first 2 years of our child's life wishing, hoping, worrying, holding our breath waiting for them to start walking and talking, and then we spend the next 16 years telling them to quiet down and sit down!

My cousin will be 5 at then end of this month...she's created her own language and you can't understand a word she says. So, just think...it could always be worse.

Seriously, I wouldn't worry too much with it right now. I think kiddo's develop at different rates. Just when you think they'll never start talking, you can't get them to be quiet!

Just to relay a similar experience, my step-cousin only spoke baby-talk and gibberish until she was nearly 3 I think. Don't know what was going on in her head, because she finally decided to talk one day, and she's a completely normal girl now.

My children have had speech therapy and my youngest was tested after he was 2 and his vocabulary was less than 50 words and nothing together. He did speech for a few months through the state (MN offers it if the child qualifies based on testing). He is almost 4 now and talks a ton, but is still having some issues and will be retested shortly. If it worries you, see if there is an early childhood screening that is offered and have them tested. This can open up a bunch of services some people may not be aware of.

With that said, I might wait if a hearing test shows no hearing issues. The early childhood screening usually tests hearing and vision. With multiple ear infections they may have some buildup and words could be sounding muddy and therefore they are not imitating them correctly.

I wouldn't be too concerned. She will talk when she is ready. Even though your daughter is on state med. I'm pretty sure her Dr. can refer her to a hearing specialist, if you really think that is an issue. She should be able to call a representative and ask...they'll let her know for sure.

You have to jump through some hoops, but it can be done.

Good luck to you.

My niece didn't start doing more than babbling until she was at least 2 1/2. She's now a very normal 8 year old with above average math skills.

I wouldn't be worried.

I agree, my youngest (now 33) did not talk much until he was well past 18 months and then you could not shut him up for awhile. He also did not walk until about at same time but the day he decided to walk, he also climbed on the kitchen table. Kids develop at their own pace, some know how to do stuff but just don't want to. Also, if your grandchild has older siblings, it's easier to just let them do the talking. Good luck!

Brenda, my almost 3-year old was 2 (last October) and wasn't saying anything. The daycare he goes to suggested a referral to Early Intervention. He's been recieving speech therapy once a week at home and he's made huge strides. I would recommend that if he goes a few more months without further words. They do wonderful thing and usually see children to age 3. 18 months, not too concerned having been through it.

Also, he had/has frequent ear infections and it's an important first step to see if there's a hearing loss. I am 90% deaf in my left ear b/c of all the bad ear infections suffered as an infant. An ENT referral can tell you whether tubes may be an option.

Being that I am not a parent and really not qualified to speak, my nephew was pushing 2.5 and hardly saying a word. He actually preferred to bark like and with the dogs, but his folks and everyone would tell him "use your words" and he would just give you this smartarse grin and mumble or bark then.

Mom and Dad had to go away for a week for work training (emt/firefighter) and he had to stay between his grand parents and uncle, and low and behold, guess who started using his words!! Basically I am guessing since we could not make sense of his grunts and barks, he figured he had to use our words, and the he got what he wanted. Perhaps as parents, my borther and SIL knew what the grunts and gestures meant, so he got what he wanted and didn't need to talk anymore than he wanted to.

The kid hasn't shut up since.

Brenda, I'm also in the "Don't freak out yet" camp. Does she have an older sibling? That *definitely* plays a part in how soon they talk. [And boys talk later than girls, apparently, although that's not the issue here.] A language "explosion" between 18 - 24 months is very common. If after about 26 months you are still concerned, I'd start with a hearing test and move forward from there. Hugs!

She does have several older siblings, so I am hoping that she just has so many people interpreting for her she just doesn't feel the need to express herself yet. She is scheduled for a check up the first week in Nov. Hopefully, if she is speaking more by then, the doctor will make a referral.

I have also noticed that she is bruising alot. She is so tiny; I am really glad the doctor's appointment is coming up soon. Nana will feel much better if we can get a clean bill of health or a referral to make sure all is well.

Thanks so much for all the comments and support. Several comments about talking after age 2 reminded me that my mother used to tell a story about how my brother didn't talk until he was over 2 because I did all of his talking for him. Maybe history is repeating itself.

Brenda - there has been a lot of great advice here.

I have one question. If you stand behind her and talk or make a loud sound, does she react? If it is a hearing problem, that could be an early indication.

Sometimes they are just obstinate. Our oldest would not talk at that age. He'd drag me into the kitchen when he wanted something and point or somehow get his point across. It was Christmas time, and we went to a local greenhouse for pointsettias. We walked into the main room that was just chock full of flowers, and clear as day he said 'Pretty'. He just wasn't ready. When he was, he was fine.

I kept my Little K from Friday night until late Sunday afternoon. The entire time she said 4 words - Mama, Nana, Dedad (Granddad) and huh. That's it. She made great eye contact and was very responsive with her facial expressions, head nods, and hand gestures. When my younger 10-month-old grandson was getting into a drawer in the kitchen she gasped and pointed at him (to indicate he was doing something he shouldn't be doing). She also responded when I called her behind her back.

When they were both together it was amazing how similar they were in their speech progress. The 18 month old is about even with the 10 month old in what they can say. Actually my grandson may have beat her, he did add bye-bye and bite to his list.

It never hurts to have them evaluated. My son has made great progress but having a person that is experienced to listen for the correct things is valuable. We recently had our soon to be 4 yr old son evaluated again and she picked up on additional issues that we haven't noticed. We want to start him now so he is not behind later...hopefully.

Our daughter's ENT said she was too young before and she is now still receiving services at age 6 due to speech delays from having recurring ear infections.

Just one mom's perspective.

Lots of great advice here. I agree with Kiwi. Our daughter didn't speak (she mainly screamed because we didn't know what she wanted) until she was about 20 months old. Then when she started talking, we couldn't understand a word. She had a history of ear infections and water in her ear and has 3 sets of tubes, adenoids out, and 2 blown ear drums.

Long story short, she finally qualified through our school district for speech therapy. She's been going for about a year. Additionally, we sent her to private speech therapy that was partially covered through our insurance. Lots of work (she'll be 5 in January), but we finally were told at conferences a couple weeks ago that she'll graduate from of speech through the district.

The frustrating part was that it did take a while to have her actually qualify through the district. The age span is for the entire year - meaning if the child is 2 years 1 day, the expectations are the same if they are 2 years 360 days. We kept having her assessed close to her birthday. The assessor told us to bring her in the day after her birthday and she'd most likely qualify because the new age threshold kicked in.

If it continues to be a concern, perhaps the school district has resources - in our state, they are required to provide early childhood services such as this.

I have a son who is now 8 and he didn't talk as early as his older siblings either. He had multiple ear infections as a baby. He still has trouble to this day with his ears getting congested but not infected. So the only way we know this is happening is when he can't hear that well. He responds when you talk to him by looking at you, but it's obvious that he can't hear clearly. I would definitely have him tested for hearing as the ears can be congested without hurting and being infected.

K finally went for her 18-mo. check up and the doctor is referring her to some type of specialist. The doctor said she was significantly behind in her speech development. She has also been acting out (throwing things, temper tantrums, etc.) that could be related to her inability to communicate.

And if that isn't enough, she has been referred to a hematologist for a possible blood disorder. They are going to deal with the blood testing first and then the speech.

This is also my daughter with the asthmatic son. He has now been out of school for 3 weeks on total bed rest. Bed rest instructions, albuterol and steroids don't really work well together.

Please remember them in your prayers; that God will heal these little angels and use all of this for His good. And remember my daughter as well. This is alot for a bi-polar mom with five kids, no money and Christmas all at the same time. (Power and gas are both scheduled for shut off next week.) Satan really seems to be working overtime here. But she knows that God is still in control.

Oh BrendaC, May God give her the strength she needs during this difficult time.

BrendaC - my love and prayers for your daughter and her family. My oldest son is bi-polar and I can only imagine how much harder all this is for her. (and for her mom also)

BrendaC...Prayers going up to the Throne of Heaven for them! And for you too! I am so very sorry to hear this! Please keep us posted on the outcome! We are here for you... (((hugs)))

You are all in my thoughts, Brenda!

Thoughts and prayers Brenda...please keep us posted.

Thank you all so very much. I know that God is going to honor your prayers and take care of them. I'm going to just sit back and watch Him at work!

I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want you to worry too much, but this is exactly the way my Godson was diagnosed with autism. He just never started talking and when he was finally screened they got the diagnosis.

Please remember that autism is not a death sentence. It's certainly not an easy road to travel, but kids with autism are all different and can still have meaningful relationships with people, just in their own special way.

You and your family are certainly in my thoughts and prayers.

My prayers go out to your family. God bless.

Autism was actually my first thought, but her pediatrician said she interacts with us too much for that to be the case. I would suspect, though, that there are significantly different levels that could manifest themselves in very different ways. Does your Godson initiate interactions with others?

There is a broad spectrum of autism from the mildest cases (Asperberger's Syndrome) to the most severe (Rain Main types). Josh interacts with certain people and seems oblivious to others. He always initiates interactions with me as soon as I walk in the door, but he knows and trusts me. He rarely speaks and when he does it's usually a quote from a Disney movie (although the quote makes sense and fits the situation). He's 14 now and his verbal isn't much different now than when he was a toddler.

My 2 year old son is just now expanding his vocabulary and it's still not crystal clear. But, he also had multiple ear infections and has had 2 sets of tubes. Our ear doctor said that while they have fluid in their ears and if scar tissue develops in their ears that everything they hear sounds muffled like their hearing it through a pillow. That broke my heart. So while they may "hear" you talking behind their back, they may not be able to clearly understand what you are saying. Once we got tubes in my sons ears his speech has increased a lot, but it's taken time (almost a year).

My son was the same way, frustrated by not being able to communicate he would grunt, scream, cry and act out. Since the tubes he can now hear clearly, is learning to use his words, and his behavior is much improved.

That's just my experience, but I thought I'd share.

My little K will be 2 next month and we are starting to see some expansion in her vocabulary. She is still very limited in what she will say and most people probably couldn't understand her, but she is trying. We usually have to prompt her several times, but she will try to say new words for those close to her. Right now, I would say her vocabulary is equivalent to her 15-mo cousin.

She is still trying to point and grunt but we are all being vigilent to remind her that she has to tell us what she wants. We are still hoping and praying for some significant improvement during the summer.

Great!

Try using the phrase 'use your words, K'...that is what I hear all of the time from the speech pathologists that have worked with my kids and who I now work with.

My DD was slow to talk - despite showing normal signs of development. She would babble - but we couldn't understand what she was saying. She also had many ear infections. Our doctor recommended tubes when she was about 2 years old - but we held off because she wouldn't let us touch her ears and we felt we would not be able to put the plugs in whenever she was swimming/bathing. At around 3, it was evident that she really needed tubes because she had constant ear infections and she was so hard to understand. She actually thanked us when she woke up from surgery because she could hear. It took her until she was 6 years old before her speech was age appropriate. She would get so frustrated because she couldn't say the K sound and her name was Kim. Had we known the struggles she would have and the hard time she had making friends due to her speech and hearing problems, we would definitely had put the tubes in when she was 2.

Glad to hear she is improving. My son is now almost 3 and has only recently began to speak in small sentences. Be patient, give it time. Also, I totally agree with Countess, say in a calm voice, "use your words and tell me". Plus, I do a lot of prompting if he starts getting frustrated. I'll say, "It sounds like your frustrated (or mad, or whatever), can you use your words to tell me what you want?" That usually helps calm him down because he knows I understand what he's trying to do.

I also read books to him and have him repeat the words after me. I speak very clearly and make sure to enunciate properly and distinctly. Sometimes we have to repeat a word two or three time before he says it properly, then I praise him big-time. I think just working with them, being supportive, and knowing that over time we'll never know that there was a problem helps get you through it.

Hey Brenda, any updates on your little K?