Kindergartener

Okay, I am so close to insanity, I could use a little help... have any of you ever had, or heard of, a kindergartener who was given detention???????

No. But, I would read your school's policies about their detention policy.

Never heard that one...but my oldest was sent to the office on a referral from the bus driver during his third week of kindergarten year.....Hello, he was four (almost five)!

I guess it would depend on the alleged infraction and the policy of the school.

Haven't heard that one but I do know of a preschooler that was kicked out of preschool - parents were asked not to bring her back.

Well, if this were my kindergartener (and I do have one right now) my first question would be what did she do? my second thought would be wait till I tell your father. I'm an old-fashioned 32yr old.

And I won't jump over someone else's (the teacher's) authority. This is the age when our kids start to test their limits more than ever - I took my kicking child our of Texas Roadhouse this week after I counted to 3 and she ignored me. (Seriously, she's never pulled this carp before...sliding off the booth, sassing her grandparents, talking back...argh)

Talk to the school. Talk to the teacher. Find out what happened. Call them today. And have these conversations out of earshot of your child. Then from there make up your mind. Did your child really and truly act up? Or did the school over-react?

My kids are older now (and have kids of their own) but I remember a few times dragging them out of stores, bowling alleys, etc because they wouldn't settle down and listen. I now tell my oldest granddaugher (9) that I am her grandmother..I did not take any of that [censored] off of her father and I'm not going to take any from her. It usually works to settle her down and within a few minutes she is fine again (or not talking to me at all) LOL

Funny, my parents spoil my kids to death but now that they are in their late teens they tell me that actually, they are sort of scared of them. I wish I knew exactly how my parents managed the balance between fear and spoiled. Maybe I need to grill my kids a little more before they start having kids of their own

But, back to the subject... I would definitely talk to the school. I would be worried if the school gave detention to a kindergartener before and/or without talking to the parents. Was this recess detention or after school detention? That would also make a difference. My personal feeling is that at that age they are a little too young to understand long term punishment like after school detention for something they did earlier in the week. But, I am no early development specialist, just a mother of three, one of which was a "special" child. I believe at that age they are still more in the "time out" stage and "immediate" response whether it be positive or negative reinforcement.

We didn't get detention that i knwo of back then, but we did get "bad cards" which were kinda liek getting a ticket from the police. I got one in kindergarten for sitting at the principal's tabel for lunch. All the kids that got to sit there got a pencil, so when I cam back to class with a pencil, I got a bad card--I didn't knwo you had to have permission to sit there.

My parents spoiled all their grandchildren. I remember my brother being annoyed because he would try to correct his kids and my mother would stand up for them. I told him to hang in there, when they reached their tween and teen years, the tide turned! My mother would start sticking up for me! LOL If they complained they were bored, she would tell them to clean their rooms, kitchen, vacuum, do laundry with the line "your mother works all day, you should be helping out around the house" LOL ahhh...memories.

But back to the subject, I also feel that a 5 year old is not going to remember an infraction for which they are being punished and a time out is more appropriate. (Of course, a 5 year old will NEVER forget you promised them a (a) toy (b) ice cream (c) puppy, etc.

I guess, I am thinking at this stage in the year (over 100 days now ) my 6 year old kindergartener knows better and if she got a detention she probably deserved it. But that's just me.

Good point QCL, perhaps the kindergartner in question here was seen cruising the playground in his '78 Firebird t-tops with a pack of smokes rolled up in his short sleeve shirt, being just an all around bad influence who had it coming.

Yep... my kindergartener had 3 days of it last month. He had "bent" the rules several times and the punishment started off pretty easy (losing recess here and there, sitting alone at lunch, loss of participation in a party). When those tactics failed to get him to behave, they gave him 3 days of afterschool detention. The final straw was when he was sent to the office and tore up the dicipline referral he was supposed to bring home to have us sign.

Well I am not going to let her hang around with you!!!

should have given you a dictionary!!!!! hahahahahahahha

sorry, just couldn't pass that one up

:: smack ::

My middle child went to the principals office 5 times in her first 2 months of Kindergarten, it was tough (she is very stubborn). She did not have any serious offenses, she simply didn't want to follow the rules and the teacher apparently does not know how to discipline, therefore she sent her to the principal. One of her offenses was telling the teacher she was wrong when she was trying to teach them something. Another was for sticking her arm out into the aisle and telling the kids they had to have a password to go past. I can't remember the others, but along the same line (it's been 9 years ago). We didn't even find out she had been sent to the principals office until her 3rd time when she told me herself. So I called the teacher and inquired about it and she told me it had been three times. Again, the 4th time, my child told me again which then prompted another call to the teacher with a request to please notify me of the next time she was going to the principal as we took it seriously. Needless to say my daughter was given a stern warning that if she went again, she was grounded for a week and would receive a spanking. The 5th time came and we did both. The threat of being grounded and receiving a spanking meant nothing to her until after the spanking when she was smirking at me (the smoke was rolling out of me at that point), I told her we didn't like to spank her and we knew she could be a good girl, etc., etc., then she starts to cry and has never been in trouble at school since! But I would have been a little upset had she been expelled - what would warrant an expulsion of a Kindergartner?

I don't know if any of you remember but a couple few years ago, when one of my middle children was in Kindergarten I was on here, at my wits end a couple of times. The school, the shrinks, the doctors all decided that my daughter would be diagnosed with bi-polar at a later date, apparently they can't finalize that decision until after puberty. So in Kinder, this kid was cutting up other peoples paperwork, throwing chairs across the room, she would go and sit in the corner in the fetal position half the day and if anyone tried to do anything about it, she went nuts, crazy, kicking and screaming with the strength of an adult bull. But it didn't start like that, it started with little things, like not listening or her eyes would gloss over and she would just stare off in her own little world.

My kid was put in detention a couple of times, and then after that she was just sent home for the rest of the day and ended up having to re-do kinder. Communication is key. The teacher doesn't know your son as well as you do, therefore the parent should be called at this young of an age prior to any harsh punishment. That way the parent and the teacher can agree and hopfully be on the same page, which is also very important. Depending on the action and what kind of detention he got it's hard to give advice, so this is just my random opinion of course. But my kid didn't act like she did at school when she was home, so without the teacher putting her in trouble I would have been oblivious. Thankfully her teacher called before and I was present when she would get her punishment most times.

There was a story in a town about an hour away from me where a kindergartner was suspended for 3 days because while playing cowboys and indians on the playground he used his fingers to create a play gun and pretended to shot another classmate. The school had a zero-tolerance policy and they decided to make an example of this student.

political correctness run amok! Cowboys and indians usually means they're having a battle. Weren't all the kids shooting something or was it just guns? Weren't the "indians" shooting arrows? If they are going to this extent - why didn't they suspend all of the kids involved in the game? It makes as much sense.

Chicago and Illinois post cards mailed today. St Louis son will mail his this week and San Fran son will mail his soon - - I may need to remind them a couple of times (once a mother always a mother )

Pssst Corky, wrong thread.

DC Talk-er, I hope you were able to talk with the teacher and find a good solution for solving your kindergartener's teacher's concerns.

FWIW I asked my wife about this as she teaches 1st grade. She said that at her school they will do "in school suspension" for 2nd grade and below. Basically the child works in the office throughout the day, including through recess. The school won't start holding children after school until 3rd grade.

Teachers have lost authority to control their own classroom. Nowadays, a visit to the principal's office is much more commonplace. Detention, suspension, etc are also more common.

In Jr. High, I was a straight A student with a bad attitude. I got into a fight with a kid who was picking on another kid. I chose the paddle...it hurt.

I got into a fight with my very best friend because he was showing off for a girl and picking on me. We both got 3 days out of school suspension (early in the year....an example). His mom picked us both up from the school.

I think I turned out okay, but I never ever dealt with anyone outside my classroom when I was in early elementary. I got in trouble (usually just talking too much....those who know me, understand), but the teacher handled it.

If I misbehaved and missed recess, it wasn't called "detention". It wasn't called anything. I just didn't get to go outside. I'd tell my mom, and she'd tell me to straighten up. That was all I needed...that was all any of us needed. Only one kid ever went to the principal's office, and that was because he was a bully from a bad family, etc. I got into a fight with him trying to defend another kid, too....he won. There was a good reason that he was the bully. This was in 4th or 5th grade.

Put more control back into the teachers' hands, but make sure you give them a raise and start recruiting better quality first. I don't want some flunkie who couldn't get a job so he/she decided to be a teacher on his/her Associates Degree to make these kinds of decision. BTW, I'm a flunkie, too, but that is why I don't try to shape the minds of others' children. I don't believe that I am qualified to do so.

I must have been a real problem child in 1st grade: my teacher paddled me, the principal paddled me, then my parents, then my grandmother.... all for 1 infraction! My grandpa would be pulling me away telling them to leave me alone! But, the principal was a friend of the family. They finally figured out if they would just put a book in my hands, I wouldn't get into so much trouble!

I think it's a downright shame when I turn on the radio and the "question of the day" is whether the listener agrees with the decision of a school district to allow corporal punishment in the schools. First of all, if you are not in that district...what does it matter? Secondly, corporal punishment work for years and the threat of it (knowing it was going to really happen) was a good deterrant for bad behavior. Third, when the teacher was allowed to give a child licks, especially in front of other students, people straightened up.

Give the teachers back the autonomy to run the classroom; monitor disciplinary action; parents--support the teachers & administration; these are steps to success.....IMHO

1st of all I agree with you East... I believe a teacher has the right to discipline and take care of my baby when I am not there (Why else would I entrust him to them). Thank u for all of your opinions. Since this time we have had evaluations and etc of my bay and have made the changes we felt were needed. I was once concerned about my baby; however since my first post we have had a new teacher. When I told her about the MANY issues of Kindergarten she simply stated : let's see how this year goes before we place him into a stereotype. I am so blessed she is still teaching... And thhough I KNOW he has a long way to go I am incredibly hopeful for the future... Thank u all!!!

I totally agree. Frankly, I think the deterrent was more the embarrassment of being paddled in front of the class or taken out in to the hall than the actually spankings.