Baby's Momma Support

Posted By: Anonymous

Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 08:21 PM

Anyone paying really high child support payments that don't end up going all to your kid....or pay 100% of the cost for the kid even though you were only half of the equation. If you are paying loot to support your ex throw out the number.....for me....$500/mo. + insurance ($100) = $600/mo.
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 09:15 PM

I pay all of day care which is $114/wk, it really goes straight to them but on top of that I actually have him more days per year than she does.
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 09:37 PM

Not me, but affect us nonetheless... my fiance pays $284 a week for his 2 kids (plus health/dental and maintains a life ins policy for them)and an extra $200 a week for his ex bride's alimony... BTW, she is living with her boyfriend in a $500k lagoon-front new house with a boat dock and a boat. I guess she feels good...
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 10:13 PM

See, that's what is wrong with the system. I remember when Evander Holyfield was told to pay $19k/month for child support for 4 kids. Who the crap needs that kind of money to support kids, nobody. That's supporting the ex's lifestyle is all.
Posted By: someone else

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 10:19 PM

Wow...I never went after my son's father for child support. I told him that if he wanted to be involved in his life, he needed to be completely involved: physically, emotionally and financially. If he chose not to exercise that option, he was free to leave unencumbered. He chose to be involved. The only financial requirement I made was that he pay my son's child care costs every other month ($270). That's it! He got off easy from the sounds of it!
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/18/05 10:30 PM

too often now the mother's are money grubbers today, the support is so much the father's often have a hard time supporting themselves without a second job, when they get second jobs the mom's then get the support adjusted to their higher incomes.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/19/05 04:01 PM

Yup. My boyfriend gives his ex about 600/month.. used to be 300 but they upped it because their daughter was going into day care. Its been 4 months and she's still not in day care yet. And, surprisingly, the mother somehow bought a brand new SUV recently too. So I guess you could assume he's paying for her car payment. That makes me SO mad, I wish I could just beat her up sometimes. Ha ha. Ok not really, but its just not fair!!!
Posted By: Search_Me

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/20/05 06:57 AM

No matter what... it's your child... and at least your child can never say... mommy or daddy never cared for me or meet my financial needs when they grow older. If you are sending the money and the other is misusing the money... shame on them... but that is your child afterall...

Also, if your dating/engaged to someone who has children from a previous relationship... you should expect that they would and should be takin care of their children.. if it's too much for you.. and you don't agree with what was stated by the courts.. maybe ya shouldn't be with that person.

I hope I don't step on anyone's toes, that is not my intentions, but if I'm dating a man.. or even married to a man who has children from a previous relationship.. you better bet that he will be payin his share to his child and I won't be complainin.

A individual that refuses to take care of his or her children... sets off a warnin in my mind... "will they be willing to take care of any more children they may add to this world."
Posted By: DeeQ

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/20/05 02:30 PM

Oh, it doesn't bother me at all what he pays for the children, I just find it irritating that she can have her cake and eat it too, re: alimony and rich boyfriend. Then again, his divorce lawyer was a real loser. Buy cheap, get cheap.
Posted By: Search_Me

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/20/05 05:32 PM

I never understood these lawyers who just barely take a stand for their clients... I mean, if they didn't want to be the best in their practice... then why even go through law school and all that comes with it? Lawyers blow my mind. Had I choose to practice.. you better bet your bottom dollar I'd pour my heart and soul into winning the case and if we didn't... I surly would know that I tried my everything. But, I'd never chose to be a lawyer. Too much to deal with.
Posted By: The Incredible ComplyGuy

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 03:03 PM

Quote:

Oh, it doesn't bother me at all what he pays for the children, I just find it irritating that she can have her cake and eat it too, re: alimony and rich boyfriend. Then again, his divorce lawyer was a real loser. Buy cheap, get cheap.



I agree about alimony. Child support should be a given, but why should any grown adult be supported by an ex-spouse? Just because they don't make as much or have gotten used to a certain standard of living? That is an old fashioned idea from the days when women couldn't support themselves.

Even child support can be excessive. While some working-class women can't get a dime out of their good-for-nothing exs and have to work 2-3 jobs to feed their kids, how many ex-wives are getting a certain ratio of their former husband's income, even if it's far in excess of what's needed to support the kids (e.g., 25% of a million $ paycheck). In those cases, even if the % is enforced, the amount beyond what's needed for immediate support should go into a trust fund so the kids benefit, not the ex-spouse.
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 03:41 PM

that's what I am talking about. Or make it so the support goes on like a prepaid debit card or something that can only be used for "support" items.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 05:00 PM

My ex makes $9/hr and on one had doesn't want this to go to court, but on the other hand she makes so little and drives a new car so I end up paying 100% of the cost for my daughter. I told her that the next dime she gets from me, she'll need a team of lawyers to pull it from my pocket. I get p'd about paying the full boat, but my daughters smile makes me forget about the money.
Posted By: waldensouth

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 06:19 PM

Alimony pretty much depends on the circumstances. Did the couple have an agreement when married that she would stay home and care for the children while he worked? Yes, then her opportunities for finding work will be limited until her skill set has been improved. Alimony would be entirely appropriate while she learns a skill.

Did she work to put him thru law school or medical school only to have him dump her for some young thing the minute he had money? It's his turn to pay - alimony is definitely appropriate. I don't consider it an old-fashioned idea to earn a return on your investment.
Posted By: Erl of Baltimore

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 08:47 PM

Three kids= $900/month and that includes reimbursement of $200/month for health insurance premiums (Don't know where they get it for that, but the program is better than mine here at the Bank).

PS: I have never nor I will ever miss a child support payment. That is not an expense to me, but an investment in their future (since I am not around all the time). (I would have rather been around, but I don't think her new husband would appreciate it.)
Posted By: 02bonne

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/21/05 09:17 PM

$300 per kid isn't bad!
Posted By: La. Lady

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/22/05 02:32 PM

Quote:

$300 per kid isn't bad!




Agreed....that is what my son has to pay......plus Easter Dresses, Christmas Dresses, Halloween costumes, school clothes, shoes ...While those things are not monthly, they are still an expense that the mother doesn't have to deal with, especially since she is not getting support from the father of her second child......
Posted By: Rainbow Girl

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/22/05 02:54 PM

I pay $500.00 for 1 child.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/23/05 09:08 PM

I don't think so either. We were able to keep it out of the courts and agreed on this amount. I just threw the info out there for comparative purposes.


Sgt. Rock
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/23/05 09:18 PM

I know that alimony is no longer if the ex bride or groom gets remarried. And yea they base it on your income which is ridiculous.... because look at Puff daddy/P diddy/Diddy whatever name he is going by now a days... he pays a friggin lot of money each month to his baby momma..... and its a amount that none of us would ever... ever have in a liftime.... its crazy... i think it should be a basic figure.. and then if the father/mother choose to be part of the kids life then that is what makes them a good parent not the money!
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/23/05 09:33 PM

it is partially based on what they were used to when the family was a unit. If they were used to spending 10g a month on the bling, then daddy needs to pay the 10g...
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/23/05 09:37 PM

that's ridiculous though, what did they have before the relationship, no bling, why reward them for getting married and divorced. If they wanted that lifestyle they should have stayed married to the person providing it.
Posted By: Bones

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 11/23/05 11:40 PM

My husband pays $300/mo in child support for his daughter. We pay it like clockwork. We also just dished out a $1000 for new braces and we pay for her school clothes every year. I don't have a problem with it. I love my step daughter like she was my own. The problem I do have is that we live in a different State than they do, and we only get her 2-3 months in the summertime. Well, now, her mother is trying to cut that down to 1 month in the summer. My husband is certainly not a deadbeat dad. He has a close relationship with his daughter. But for some reason, the mother wants them to spend less and less time together. That's what hurts.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/03/05 05:01 AM

Child support sucks. Everyone should just take care of their own kids. Either that or have an abortion. That would alleviate a lot of headaches when it comes to buying crap for these little rugrats which cost a lot when I could be using that $$$ for something more worthwhile such as a yacht, clubbing, clothes, dates, etc.
Posted By: Search_Me

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/04/05 10:05 AM

To alleviate your headaches of child support:

DON'T HAVE close relations with the opposite sex and you would never have to worry about having a little one too begin with...much less take care of... therefore it would allow you to then use all the $$$ on your worthwhile items such as the yacht, clubbing, clothes, dates, etc. that you mentioned.

Remember: The child did not ask to be brought into the world... two people having close relations either took the chance to bring it or planned to bring it in this world.
Posted By: La. Lady

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/05/05 02:12 PM

Quote:

Child support sucks. Everyone should just take care of their own kids. Either that or have an abortion. That would alleviate a lot of headaches when it comes to buying crap for these little rugrats which cost a lot when I could be using that $$$ for something more worthwhile such as a yacht, clubbing, clothes, dates, etc.




Well, I think that comments like that suck.....after all, I don't think that either party was hiding behind the door when conception took place. They apparently had no problems at that time...........

These little "rugrats" as you call them are work a lot more than those material things................
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/07/05 07:09 PM

1200/month 3 kids
Posted By: Raiderette

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/07/05 08:01 PM

He pays daycare every other week, I pay daycare every other week. Every other Sunday I pick up the boys at 3:15 (he has to be at work at 4), Every other Sunday he picks up the boys from me at 6:15. He pays for the health insurance, but I always take them to the dr. and I always pay the co-pay. Our 3 yr. old is at the dr.s regularly. He buys the clothes, diapers, food, etc for his house, I do the same for mine.
We have a court ordered child support, that he never pays. It's to make up the difference of how much he makes vs. how much I make so that the boys can live in an equally financial home. The boys' dad and I agreed by word of mouth that he won't pay child support. However, if I find myself in a financial bind (ie: I'm short on rent one month) he will help me out. This has never happened.
Posted By: Raiderette

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/07/05 08:08 PM

Quote:

Child support sucks. Everyone should just take care of their own kids. Either that or have an abortion. That would alleviate a lot of headaches when it comes to buying crap for these little rugrats which cost a lot when I could be using that $$$ for something more worthwhile such as a yacht, clubbing, clothes, dates, etc.




Wow, it sounds to me like you are a greedy jerk. I don't know you personally, so I could be wrong, but I hope I never get to. If you don't want kids, don't partake in the act. Our future depends on our little ones and the way we raise them. I for one wouldn't trade any materialist thing for my kids. I could live without a yacht, but I don't think I could live without them. Next time, please think about what you post before you post it, as well as the audience that will be reading it.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/08/05 01:46 AM

Raiderette, speaking as an attorney here, I would recommend you set up some other arrangement regarding the child-support payments. You could be screwed. And the court would certainly look at your spoken agreement if push comes to shove. At least keep it in some sort of escrow account where it is available for you to use (according to your needs and current arrangement) and available for him upon your permission (which of course would essentially mirror your oral agreement). The arrangement would effectively be the same but would have some structure to protect you according to the court order without letting the court second-guess your lack of need by refusing to take the money. Feel free to PM me if you would like help or advice. I warn you ahead of time I am no expert on Family Law but I can "walk the walk and talk the talk" (I know some family law and i am lawyer who knows the process and analysis required here but not the technical restraints).

As far as the other comment, I think it was sarcasm but in bad taste considering the seriousness of the thread. (although admittedly I chuckled because I saw the absurdity right away)

Ron Mexico
Posted By: Raiderette

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 12:01 AM

Ron,
I would never refuse the money and God knows I could use it. The agreement is so that the father and I can remain as cordial as possible for the boys. He gets very angry and says very nasty things about me in front of the boys. In order to get along with him as well as possible I don't enforce the court order. Fighting gets us nowhere and the boys are not as happy.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 12:51 AM

Well, it is your situation, but the fact that he does what he does in front of the boys only seems to further prove my point. At any rate, the PM invite is on the table should you change your mind.

RM
Posted By: 02bonne

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 05:10 PM

Raiderette, just as an outside observer, your ex sounds like a jack. My ex and I have a situation where we are cordial and I pay $600/mo. It would be $900 otherwise (I only have our daughter 2 days out of the week). We agreed to this as we wanted to be cordial, but I know if I started badmouthing her to our daughter, we would go to court mighty quick. My point is that your ex should watch what he says especially since you're being so lenient. It seems like you're the only one making an attempt to get along. I would tend to agree with Ron.....for what it's worth.
Posted By: XODUS

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 06:25 PM

At some point Raiderette your willingness to let him continue that behavior could come back to haunt you. I don't legalities that would be Ron's thing, but at a certain age can't kids have a say in who they live with? If so, do you know what he is saying about you when he has them? some day he may come for them and they may pick him. My mom and step-dad used to threaten to punish my sister and I by sending us to visit our dad. We didn't know any better or we may have taken them up on the offer. A father's influence means a great deal to young boys, I would hate to see you lose them.
Posted By: Raiderette

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 07:47 PM

would help any of you if you knew that we were trying to work things out? IE: we are considering buying a house together. We currently do not live together.
Posted By: 02bonne

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 09:17 PM

So let me get this straight....you're divorced....he's saying bad things about you to your kids.....and you're not only getting back with this guy, but also buying a house with him? Simply speaking, this is not a good idea. Anybody who badmouths me is done. No questions asked....permanently disqualified.
Posted By: Nanwa

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 09:25 PM

I would enforce the court order and let your boys see that you are not a door mat. When they see their dad getting away with this kind of behavior, they will think that it is OK, and heaven help the women they marry.
Posted By: 02bonne

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/09/05 09:35 PM

If you don't respect yourself, they won't respect you.
Posted By: HappyGilmore

Re: Baby's Momma Support - 12/10/05 12:07 AM

Raiderette, it is your life to life as you choose. But why would you want to be with a man that speaks poorly of you in fornt of your kids? My parents divorced when I was 10, we lived with my Dad. My dad never spoke poorly of my mother, but she and her family spoke poorly of him all the time. Guess who I think more highly of???