My family and I are going through a really rough time. We have lost several (6) family members in the last 3 years and have a couple more that will be passing soon. Everytime we seem to be over the shock and grief it seems like another one is taken. I feel so worn out and emotionally drained. Not to mention we moved several hours away. I am praying for peace and comfort. (and winning the lottery ) I am really torn on what to do. I feel very insecure about losing more family members. I even fear of dying myself. It's starting to affect my work and some days it's very difficult to go through my day. Is this part of the grief process? Could it be depression? My maternal grandmother had some form of mental illness; some days I wonder if I am going crazy? I really want to quit work and just stay close to my family. (which is a total switch from my usual personality-workaholic) My husband suggested it might be hormanal (sp?) or pre-menapausal? All I know is I don't feel like ME.
Thanks for letting me sit on the couch for a while.

Hang in there, we are pulling for you. It could be hormonal, or maybe you are a little depressed, have you seen a doctor about it?

I just sent you a hug!
Check your PM...

I haven't seen a doctor in about a year. I used to get bad headaches (tension that lead to migranes) but I haven't had one in a while. I probably should schedule a check up.

I think that it's normal to sort of lose yourself at work when your home/personal life is unstable. There are times when I feel really distracted from my work due to things going on in my life but I do my best to stay focused and hang in there. If you really feel that it's necessary, it might be worth it to talk to your doctor about taking a low dose of an antidepressant...sometimes that can help you focus and put things in perspective.
Keep your chin up! Prayers are coming your way from Oregon!

Thanks! I sent one back!

You are still in my prayers as you seek comfort through this difficult time. Hang in there girl - we are here for your support. ((hugs)) for you!

mck401, what you are feeling is NOT unusual. I lost my grandmother, father and mother over a span of 5 months when I was 18. (Old age, heart attack, and an anyerism, respectilvely.) I pulled back from everyone emotionally, because I was afraid if I got close to anyone else, they would die too. I could not make future plans, because I fully believed I would never see age 19. I don't remember much from age 18 to 21; I was just going through the motions of life, continuing my education and working to pay the bills I never expected to have that soon; gas and car insurance, apartment rent, utilities, books and lab fees, and if anything was leftover, food.

But, in time, I learned I could not live like that. We all need each other, and need to lean on each other. Unfortunately, we are not immortal, and all of us will die sometime. It is one more part of the life process. It is not easy, but you will get through this. Faith can help. Just knowing that this is not the end, just the start of the next stage, makes it a little easier to bear.

A song says "Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes". We have to take joy in the time between goodbyes. And the old cliche "Time heals all wounds" is right. In time, this pain will become easier to deal with, and you will be able to lift you head up and be happy again.

I pray for you for strength to get to that point soon.

You might also be clinically depressed. Go talk to your doctor. S/He may be able to prescribe medicine that will help... or refer you to a psychiatrist or other mental health professional.

Good luck. Prayers go out for you and your family

mck401, I understand how you're feeling and I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. In the past two years, I've lost both of my parents (I'm an only child), my grandmother, an uncle, and a dear friend with whom I shared an office for five years. There have been times when I, like you, have felt that it was not worth it to get close to anyone because it's just a matter of time before they'll be gone. But, I have a very strong faith and I know that all of this is part of God's plan. I find comfort in that and I try to live every day as if it's the last. Nanwa is right, time is a healer. I pray that you will find the peace and comfort that you need. I also think a visit to your doctor couldn't hurt. You may find that you need some help to get through this. Good luck - and, remember that you're not alone.

mck401: I think I would be more worried about you if you didnt' feel this way right now, you have had a lot of emotional "stuff" pile up on you lately. How you feel is pretty normal, just not much fun to deal with. You have gotten some pretty good advise so far, all I can add is to try and find one thing you really like to do that can give you some peace and comfort for now. And, know that we all care!!! Hugs (((())))

You and your family are definitely going to be in my prayers. I hope you find some peace and comfort in your memories of your family members.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their kinds words and support. Things are going better.

Keep hanging in there mck!