Men, future arguments can be avoided if you remember these words:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

I DON'T CARE
This statement does not mean that you can do whatever you want.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

And don't you forget it.

i would like to add a couple;

"There you go": My stepmom uses this phrase to make you feel like an idiot when she thinks you have done something wrong. This means that you shall not argue with her viewpoint of your actions and should therefore, walk away immediately.

"Don't you know?": My girlfriend uses this phrase to make me realize that what she says is right, even if she is wrong. This is in relation to the 'urban' street slang; "You better recognize, fool."


Thank you.

nah, not an idiot but what i am realizing after living with my girlfriend for a year that all they are trying to do is mold you into what they want.
i try to resist but sometimes just give in because i don't have the energy to fight or just don't feel up to it.
i give the ole, "yea, you win. i give up." but secretly, don't tell her this, i don't give up and then do what i want.

another lesson i am learning is this; women. can't live with them, can't live with them and the more you try to understand women, the harder it becomes.
i really think its a huge conspiracy theory and they are all members of this underground society like the stonecutters. do i sound paranoid?

Dude, I gotta tell ya that it doesn't change. Now, RUN before XGB and the Princess catch you! I'd hate to see a brother get a beat down!

ha ha. i am allergic to duct tape, you wouldn't want to damage me, would you? would you?
i feel like ranting today.
how come women can change their mind and go back on a deal too?
drives me nuts!

"dad, i just dropped mom off at the airport, she got on the plane and it crashed."
"son, you know my lips are chapped, don't make me smile!"
-henny youngman

Guys, understanding your wife is realy very easy, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," (Ephesians 6:25). If you love her more than you love yourself you won't need Oprah or Dr. Phil to figure things out.

Don't get me wrong - the post made me chuckle and I was going to post a witty (at least in my opinion) reply. But I decided to go a different way.

Where's Pam with the olives???

We don't want to mold you, just make you all live up to what we know you can be (-: All kidding aside my husband admits that I do 90% of the work and get 90% of the aggrivation so I don't feel too badly when he tells younger folks getting married that the best way to get along with your wife is to learn the phrase "Yes Dear"!

CG speaks truthfully - most men think they are so sneaky, when their women-folk are on to them the whole time. What, you don't think WE can do the "Yes dear of course I'm going to do exactly what you think is best" routine, and then go out and do whatever it was we planned to do in the first place?? Survival of the fittest, baby.

At the duct taped boy, of course!!