Bankguy,

You said "Sorry, but I must say: blah, blah, blah. I know someone who almost lost his family and I know another who is now in prison. Extremes? Yes. But it started innocently with Internet porn."

I know that happens, but does that mean that every kid that watches violent cartoons on TV is going to go out and kill somebody? Does that mean that every gun owner is going out to kill somebody? Does that mean that everybody that drinks (including a lot of BOL'ers) is going to go into a drunken stuper and smash the bank's computers? I fully realize that some people that view computer porn are perverted and commit sexual offenses. I also realize that the majority of people that view porn are normal people that DO NOT commit sexual offenses and never will. By the way, I know a 16 year old boy who was recently convicted as an adult for sexually molesting his 12 year old stepsister. He is from a Christian family and his mother and stepfather were in the house while the molestation was taking place. Computer porn was not an issue. He used a TV show and her "sexy" clothes as an excuse. Some parents are turning their daughters into sex objects as early as three and four years old. And they wonder why perverts target those kids.

Original Anon is in the building and actually smiling this morning. I went home, did not pray first, confronted my husband with how hurt I was, and to my surprise, he was hurting too. I can't believe I was so busy navel gazing that I didn't see his pain. We started out by praying together and then we had a long talk, well not too long, but good. In a nut-shell: He says that it has absolutely nothing to do with how he sees me. I said that to be one of the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate people I know, I couldn't understand why he continued when he knew it hurt me. He couldn't really answer that, but the look in his eye was healing for me. He reads "God Calling" every morning and is a Christian man. I asked him what he thought God Calling would have to say about it and he admitted that, he believes, it is probably not the best thing to do. We came to a mutual decision that I will work on my self esteem, (he is happy to help with this), and he will find more productive ways to spend his time. Bottom line: We Love each other, and thanks in part to lots of the things you all said yesterday, we are communicating much better today, and I feel so much better. He even drug me away from the dinner dishes last night, ordered the kids to do the clean up, and actually put a Do Not Disturb sign on our door. You are all the greatest, as I received insight from EVERY post.

Post deleted by elena

Anon...your post brought tears to my eyes!

I am glad to hear that things are looking up.

Nicely done! See, my gut is never wrong, except when I choose the triple cheeseburger over the double at Wendys! (have to feed my big ol' head you know )

That's awesome!!! it's always good to know you have a whole wide crazy world of bankers to help out!!!

Good for the both of you!

[quote]

Alien-American,

I'm sure your intentions were good, but you made a lot of major assumptions about what is really going on here, and some of the things you said are very hurtful.[/quote]

My apologies if I offended anyone, although if anyone should be offended it is “Original Anon”. I am happy that thinks are beginning to look up and pray for a blissful married life. Honest communication is the key!

Great Blue!

Political correctness is not a strength of mine, probably because of cultural upbringing. Actually I think PC is for wusses. I am brutally frank but fiercely loyal because I don’t see any point in appeasing someone with superficial concern (and no I don’t think you had a superficial concern – it’s just a statement of fact about my personality).

I'll admit, I didn't read every post to this topic, but I had to make a comment. CubDave, I have never heard a man express such understanding and sensitivity to the issue of a woman feeling unattractive, etc, from your first reply to this post. I'm impressed. Like I said, I didn't read all of the replies, so maybe you messed up further down, but what I read amazed me. I wish more husbands could understand a woman's perspective of feeling inadequate. How else can we feel when bombarded by totally unrealistic images of unattainable bodies in the media?

For 007, depending on the terms of your relationship, I'd probably feel free to check out some hot looking guys on the web. What's good for the goose... It's interesting how different people and circumstances are, but I'd kill for my husband to look at some porn, maybe the old fart would get horny!!!! LOL. I have to go home now!

Wyogirl

P.S. I have to add, my husband and I are older and have been married over 21 years. We have a great marriage. I should also say, my opinions are definitely not those of my employer, but I wish they were those of my husband!