NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!





HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago.





OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."





KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother Then
she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."





MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"





ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
fairy will never believe this!"





DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit"
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the
next morning."





SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"





BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out" What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear

With four children, we have great ones...

Like when we were standing outside the restrooms years ago and a lady with a restaurant shirt walked out. One son asks who that was - to which I respond, "a lady that works at (such and such) restaurant"... the immediate response was "you used to be a lady?????" (this from a 3 year old)

The same son embarrassed not much later by being in anotehr stall in the restroom and asking me how I went potty..... my face was a bit red when I finished and saw two employees standing outside smiling (almost laughing) at me.

More recently is the little boy who had leaves in his pockets when doing the wash. When asked about why they were in his pockets, he said he was saving them for one of the daycare children's mom. He said that she's a vegetarian and would like those. (mom wonders what he says when we aren't around)

Oh yes, kids say the darndest things!!!

I still smile when I remember the time that I overheard a mother and four year old daughter in a public restroom, coming from a stall. The mother instructed the daughter, "now we need to wash our hands". The little girl replied, "both of them, I only used one?" Out of the mouth's of babes.