Although he is not physically ill, I am just as concerned for his welfare. He is not making the best choices right now and I am very worried that he is really going to screw up his life. He is 18 years old, didn't graduate high school, has no job nor seems to have any interest in finding one and keeps getting into trouble with the law. We have bailed him out of trouble a few different times now, and I am no longer in a financial position to do so if he gets into any more trouble.

He has been living with me for the last couple of months so that I could ensure he was going to school for the two classes he needs to graduate, but hasn't been coming home for most of the last week and not getting to school on those days either.

He is also supposed to be entering basic training for the Marines in February, but he won't be able to go if he doesn't graduate.

I have also heard "through the grapevine" that he may be getting into drugs and drinking.

His father (my ex) shows almost no interest in spending positive time with him, nor does my son care to spend time with him.....or so he says.

My entire family is so disappointed in his behavior, but, like me, don't know what to do or say to make him change.

Please send a little prayer that he will turn his life around.....and SOON.

Thank you.

Prayers for you and your son BQ. This must be incredibly difficult for you to see him making these mistakes and not being able to do much about it. Just keep loving him no matter how difficult it may be at times...

Father, I pray that you will oversee in this situation. I pray that you will help this young man make the right choices which are so vital for his future and his family. I pray that those who surround him will give him good counsel. I pray that those who love him will be given peace and strength and wisdom to help guide him...but also that they will be given the strength to allow him to make mistakes and learn from them. God, you are so good and gracious and we thank you in advance for how you are going to work this situation out in the most positive way in your own time. In Jesus' name I ask this....Amen!

BQ, your son is in my prayers. May he find the right road and follow it.

BQ, it is a tough road, hopefully he will find the best road possible and soon.

So sorry to hear this, BQ. Lifting your son up that he will find his way soon.

Thank you all so much.

Just got a call from his school counselor though......the principal is ready to drop him from the program due to his poor attendance record of recent.

I know that upsets you....but it may be the very thing he needs. Sometimes when you can't go any further down, the only place to look is up....Still praying!

Prayers for you and your family from Florida.

I can definitely empathize with your situation. My 15yr old son has ADD and has been recently diagnosed with mild bipolar. He's been having a really rough time lately, texting me from school, begging me to pick him up and cutting himself.

As i write this, his stepfather is on his way to pick him up from school since I can't leave work. I also have a 12:30 appt with his guidance counselor and one of his teachers.

Thank you......and lvc, I've been there too.

My son has ADHD and a mood disorder (probably bi-polar). He was hospitalized a year and a half ago to get his medication and immediate behavior stabilized. He stopped taking the medication several months after (right after my ex and I separated, and the ex wasn't encouraging him to take them anymore). He was OK for a while, but now that he can "come and go as he pleases" he doesn't see how his current choices are impacting his future.

I feel very powerless to help him anymore. I've been trying to enforce limits and just common courtesy with him, but it has been to no avail most of the time. He just sees it as me nagging on him all the time.

Prayers for BowlingQueen's Son - may he "see the light" and change his ways, Lord, before he destroys his life. BQ is there ANY adult male in his life that he might listen too - was he in ROTC in hs?

Prayers for Ivc's son as well - may the doctor's find the right level of medication to assist him in living a normal, productive life.

Many of the positive adults in his life are at their wits' end, like myself.

No......he was not (in ROTC).

Prayers from Ohio.

BQ, how about the Marine recruiter or someone from the Marines?

I called and left a message for him (the recruiter) this morning. Hopefully, he will get in touch with him and let me know that he has done so.

More bad news........discovered he has a bench warrant out for his arrest for Criminal Trespassing and Obstructing. If the tickets don't get paid, he will go to jail.

I called him on it and he says the record is wrong......of course, I'm almost 99.9% sure he is lying. I spoke to the Sheriff's Dept myself.

My heart breaks for you guys! Be strong in the Lord...He's the only one who can get you through and He promises to do that!!

John 14:27
Micah 7:7
Psalm 121

BQ - it might be time to take a stand and let him see that the choices he makes, right or wrong, have consequences. he won't attend school, he doesn't work, he is in trouble with the law...as much as you may love your son, you are enabling him to make these choices and have bailed him out enough times. He is 18 years old, time for him to face up to his actions. It won't be easy, but you can do it now, or continue to enable him and face it down the road after much more grief and costs...

I wish you well, and I'll say a prayer for both of you, and the father as well.

TOTALLY have walked in your shoes...and it is SO HARD to let the kids fall....

My stepson did many of the same things...and the school finally pushed him through to graduation....and he moved out that afternoon...spent some time living with friends...sometimes working sometimes not....we worried so much about him...it was difficult to continue with daily life...

he's 22 now...and met a girl with a young baby and is working to support her and the baby...he can see now all of the missed opportunities and why we pushed so hard to get him to stay on track....he's frustrated that with his limited education he's finding it hard to get a good job (especially in this economy!)....and we keep asking what we could have done differently...and he can't tell us. He just says that he was too angry to see the situation for what it was and we needed to do just what we did...step back and let logical consequences run the course.

I hope that he never has to find out how hard that was...and we are grateful that it turned out OK...

Hang in there....he needs your love and support...but sometimes that love is tough love....

I was going to say something similar to Happy, but I don't have kids so I can only speculate on how hard it would be to do the tough love thing.

Instead, I'll send good thoughts and happy wishes your way.

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers......it means a lot.

I've spoken with him again and he INSISTS he didn't get another ticket since the ones that were taken care of over a month ago. I told him he better call the Sheriff's Dept. and get it taken care of, IF he's telling the truth, otherwise he WILL be put in jail. With all of the galavanting around town he does, I'm sure it won't take long for them to catch up with him.

I pray he is telling the truth and that it's some mix-up with his "other" tickets, but I'll believe it when I see it.

I have to agree with Happy. I was this kid when I was young. After I realized I was at rock bottom I straightened myself out quick. Sometimes at that age you don't know what's going to affect your future until something big happens. It's all about having fun and doing anything to not have to deal with real life. The best thing my parents ever did was send me to jail for a couple few months.
And the court ordered counseling.

BQ,as hard as it is to let go and let him fail and fall it would probably be the best thing for him. I have a son (36 now) who is bi-polar and we have had some pretty touch and go times with in the past but we learned we had to walk that fine line between helping and letting go. Not easy to do but worth it in the long run. I'm not surprised he stopped taking his meds, my son did that a number of times. With our son he had to accept his condition as part of him, just like he accepted his addictions, and then he could start the path to getting stable.

If there is a NAMI organization near you, give them a call. We took a Family to Family class that helped us learn about his illness and he found support there also.

Call me any time, just PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Prayers for you and your son.

God bless your family situation BQ. So many males in our kids' generation are dropping out of life and giving up. I pray he starts making wise decisions.

Thank you all for your prayers.

I understand what you all mean about tough love, but I just can't give up on him yet. The thought of letting him go and let him continue to sabotage his future is just too much to bear.

His grandmother, Marine recruiter and I are the only ones that are really trying to keep him accountable to being even partially responsible. If there is any chance that he will graduate and be able to enter the Marines, I've just got to try to hang in there for a little while longer.

He's supposed to enter basic training in February, so I'm praying for the strength to make it that long.

Tough Love does not mean giving up!!! It just means that you have to shift the responsibility of his success to him and away from you, the marines, and his grandmother.

We also had hopes that my stepson would go into the service. We met with the recruiter many times...and said things exactly like you...knowing that if he could just get into the military...he'd probably be OK.

and the recruiter wisely told us that if he was acting out in civilian life, he'd act out in army life...and the penalties are greater and the margin for error smaller. I think he was right...if our son had entered the army and made destructive choices there...the opportunity to recover and build a productive adult life may have been eliminated.

There are no easy answers...my heart goes out to you and your family.