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#1628496 - 11/15/11 03:56 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Bankbb1, PITA
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,577
Down Yonder
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Gentleman, could I have your attention? I am about to attempt an obviously foolish plan that is bound to end in bodliy injury due to the over consumption of adult beverages! Oh, and you should film it for posterity and so that you may put it on the internet! Bbb1, the words you used were greater in both quantity and quality, but when you boil it all down, what you basically said there was "HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS!!!", which is something that a true Southern guy will say to his friends at least once a week (assuming, of course, that he is not still hospitalized from the last time he said it). Precisely the point! In the typical "Hey fellars, watch this" There is no forethought of consequence! In my statement there is clearly a choice being made and a vocabulary not unheard of, but at least uncommon in said situtations. And I say this, not without some amount of personal experience! If had I used the former sentence in more situations, I might have had a few less scars today!  I gotcha. But in my experience there has always been forethought of consequence involved, though it is bravely ignored in deference to the greater cause of showing off. IMO the reason for the predominant use of the shorter version is one of necessity. You see, when the call to watch is initiated, usually by that point the caller has already begun his roll down the hill in a tractor tire or lit the bottle rocket that had been secured in his hind regions. As such, I am sure you can appreciate that time is of the essence and wasting even a split second with extra words could have dire consequences - such as your friends not seeing the act and then having to replicate it (assuming that you still have use of the required limbs and digits).
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#1628600 - 11/15/11 06:03 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
BotV#6
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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Egad! Someone has put camo on my truck!
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Run like the wind, but never forget gravity. 
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#1629222 - 11/16/11 06:14 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Queen Mum
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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:missing BOL musical notes:
"I write the songs that make the whole world sing..." :sniff:
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#1629268 - 11/16/11 07:03 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Bankbb1, PITA
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,925
So Cal
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"The new Jay-Z album just became available on iTunes."
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I've just writed a wrong.
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#1629284 - 11/16/11 07:21 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
GuitarDude
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 5,063
Pennsylvania
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"Honey toss me the keys to the Prius, I'm off to the spa for my mani-pedi."
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Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.
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#1632764 - 11/28/11 08:58 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
thomasj
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,925
So Cal
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"I think this belt buckle is too gaudy."
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I've just writed a wrong.
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#1632770 - 11/28/11 09:09 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
GuitarDude
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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"Should I be worried that I havent seen my belt buckle in 10 years?" (34 in belt on man with 44 inch waist)
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#1632774 - 11/28/11 09:11 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
GuitarDude
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Gold Star
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 498
Texas
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I think this shirt needs to be thrown away.
No dear, you can't wear THAT to Wal-Mart.
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Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it is only Thursday
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#1632775 - 11/28/11 09:11 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
GuitarDude
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Power Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 7,659
Florida
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Pick one from column A and one from Column B.
I really don't want to go [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling].
I'd rather [go with you to the mall] [help you out with the vacuuming] [read this interesting article about Oprah].
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#1632778 - 11/28/11 09:18 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Rocky P
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Gold Star
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 498
Texas
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Pick one from column A and one from Column B.
I really don't want to go [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling].
I'd rather [go with you to the mall] [help you out with the vacuuming] [read this interesting article about Oprah]. A True Southern girl will be right there along with him [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling] 
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Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it is only Thursday
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#1632803 - 11/28/11 10:03 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
PStateBank
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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Pick one from column A and one from Column B.
I really don't want to go [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling].
I'd rather [go with you to the mall] [help you out with the vacuuming] [read this interesting article about Oprah]. A True Southern girl will be right there along with him [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling] No chewing or dipping though (the girls I mean).... 
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Run like the wind, but never forget gravity.
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#1632881 - 11/29/11 02:06 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Bankbb1, PITA
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Gold Star
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 498
Texas
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Pick one from column A and one from Column B.
I really don't want to go [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling].
I'd rather [go with you to the mall] [help you out with the vacuuming] [read this interesting article about Oprah]. A True Southern girl will be right there along with him [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling] No chewing or dipping though (the girls I mean).... Agreed ... But I have seen a few....
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Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it is only Thursday
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#1632915 - 11/29/11 03:00 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
PStateBank
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Power Poster
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,577
Down Yonder
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Pick one from column A and one from Column B.
I really don't want to go [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling].
I'd rather [go with you to the mall] [help you out with the vacuuming] [read this interesting article about Oprah]. A True Southern girl will be right there along with him [hunting] [fishing] [4-wheeling] No chewing or dipping though (the girls I mean).... Agreed ... But I have seen a few.... There's a joke about how to tell if a southern guy is dating/married to a southern gal - there's tabacky stains on the floor of both sides of his truck.
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...not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.
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#1632958 - 11/29/11 03:47 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Bobby Boucher
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Posts: 9,111
OK
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One of my funniest memories: a buddy of mine back in the day, at a honky-tonk, when this gal sauntered up to him and asked "wanna dance?", my friend replied "wanna spit that dip out?".
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I'm fixin' to fix that.
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#1632995 - 11/29/11 04:39 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
raitchjay
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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I dont mean to be prejudicial ( I dipped for for 23 years ), but something about a woman with a dip just doesnt seem right. Now women that can shoot....thats hot! 
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#1632999 - 11/29/11 04:43 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
raitchjay
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 6,559
Foxboro
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One of my funniest memories: a buddy of mine back in the day, at a honky-tonk, when this gal sauntered up to him and asked "wanna dance?", my friend replied "wanna spit that dip out?". Your buddy knew deek?
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#1633002 - 11/29/11 04:44 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
TB 12
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10K Club
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,579
Not prison
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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#1633007 - 11/29/11 04:52 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
kitten
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 38
The Sovereign State Of Oklahom...
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My Great Grandmother dipped... I really have nothing else to say about that.
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#1633018 - 11/29/11 05:01 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
TB 12
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Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 5,063
Pennsylvania
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One of my funniest memories: a buddy of mine back in the day, at a honky-tonk, when this gal sauntered up to him and asked "wanna dance?", my friend replied "wanna spit that dip out?". Your buddy knew deek? To be fair, Deek only dips in public places where she can't light up. She dips AND smokes everywhere else.
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Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.
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#1633707 - 11/30/11 05:59 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
Bankster
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Power Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,598
~*TEXAS*~
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THE TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN GUY SAY:
>
> 31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
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> 30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
>
> 29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
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> 28. Duct tape won't fix that.
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> 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
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> 26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
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> 25. You can't feed that to the dog.
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> 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
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> 23. Wrestling is fake.
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> 22. We're vegetarians.
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> 21. Do you think my gut is too big?
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> 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
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> 19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
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> 18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
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> 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
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> 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
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> 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
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> 14. Trim the fat off that steak.
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> 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.>> 12. The tires on that truck are too big.
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> 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
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> 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
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> 9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
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> 8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
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> 7. Checkmate
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> 6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
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> 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
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> 4. I don't have a favorite college team.
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> 3. You Guys.
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> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
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> AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:
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> 1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole bus load of us down to
> re-elect OBAMA!
pretty sure it's supposed to be the other way around.
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#1633715 - 11/30/11 06:20 PM
Re: Top 31 things a Southern guy will never say
*nUnZeO*
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Power Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,195
Basking in the Cool Weather
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boy those other college football conferences sure look tough this year....
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I'll be in the hospital bar.
Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
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