I rode my bike to the office yesterday, did some testing on a new program then went for a Moscow mule. All before 9 a.m.!

Please cross your fingers for me.

Double crossed!

Fingers crossed, but I don't think you are going to beat the Breathalizer™.....

walking a straight line is probably out of the question too

Why do i bother going to the dentist? After all, i live in Louisiana. Maybe I should just go full native?

Come here, happy, I can help with that look...

Why...Eddie finally giving in?

Are you having a bad hair day?

Already been to 14 liquor stores and can't find any gin?

When I was a kid, I used to tell the kids in my class that I wore a wig and that I had an uncle that was a Beach Boy.

your uncle was not a beach boy?

Ice cream trucks:
My son told me that one of his friend's parents said that when the ice cream truck was playing music that it meant they had no more ice cream.

so cruel!

Sadly, no. My uncle was not Mike Love.

Was he Uncle Jessie? He was almost a Beach Boy.

And the Beach Boys were always on Full House!

Today is the 15th anniversary of the death of Frank Sinatra.

We have 33 people in on a powerball pool. If we win, this place is going to shut down and none of us will care!

sorry to burst your bubble, but $350 divided 33 ways after the 44% tax hit will only result in approximately $6mm per person, and with the cost of penalties from Obamacare if you don't work and have insurance, you're going to have to continue working...

now back to your regularly scheduled daydreaming...

I told them if I win, I'm staying here and just being a complete arseface because I won't need the income to survive anymore.

And hey, if everyone quits, that's a third of the staff I won't have to worry about watching anymore.

I had a dream last night that while Nixon was in office, he ordered all U.S. manufacturers of plastic push pins to make the flat portion larger (because he was having trouble pulling them out of a corkboard). Then I was a small child running barefoot outside and stepped on one of the modified push pins. Because of the enlarged part, it stayed upright on the ground and pierced my heel. That hurt, and I thought, ‘If Nixon didn’t make these push pins so much bigger, it would’ve fallen over.’ Then my dad pulled it out of my foot, and I thought, ‘If Nixon didn’t make these push pins so much bigger, pa wouldn’t have been able to pull it out with ease.’ Which was odd, because I never called my dad ‘pa’.